Thanks Agatha, well just more of the same really. More strange spontaneous bruising on my fingers and hands on Fri, but again it was after a Zumba class a friend had persuaded me to go to so there must be a connection with the violent exercise (which does seem to help my mood a bit). The locum I saw thinks it may be a very rare condition called Achenbach's Syndrome, which develops in women in their 40s and 50s for no known reason, but isn't serious. Even so I have to be tested again in a month's time because the initial test showed enlarged red blood cells, which could be down to vit B12 deficiency or thyroid problems.
Today has been pretty awful - lack of sleep is really making things a lot worse, this morning at 7am i phoned the Crisis Team feeling utterly desperate, only to get an answerfone saying their service was temporarily out of order. This after I'd been reassured I could phone them 24 hours a day. So ended up phoning the Samaritans and had a long talk with a very sympathetic guy. Still waiting for any further support from the Community Mental health Team or any sign of the referral appointment to the Menopause Clinic. So I'm still in limbo, crawling from one day to the next and dreading waking up tomorrow morning to more unbearable anxiety. Desperately trying to resist taking more and more diazepam cos I know it's counter-productive, but sometimes it's very hard when I'm exhausted and just want that bit of temporary relief.