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[BlueButterfly]

I'm an absolute mess today. I have been all week but last night and into today already I'm feeling it. My heart has been pounding all week....not fast exactly but hard. Yesterday afternoon I started getting weak, nauseous, light headed, dizzy, faint, just odd feeling all over my body. Almost that feeling before you get sick? But don't feel anything coming on. This in addition to the constant heart pounding sent me to the urgent care where my heart was checked (fine), bloods drawn, told it's nothing but anxiety and sent home with some meds to sleep. I hoped sleep would help but it's there today....just all over my body, or my legs will start to feel very heavy and tired. I feel just absolutely horrible. I can even describe how awful I feel. It's hard to put into words. I want to cry and sleep but I have my young daughter home and really I am scared that I won't wake up if I sleep and she'll have to deal with all that. I don't have family close and OH can't leave work. I'm waiting to hear what blood results are from last night and hoping to hear from GYN today as well. I can't recall feeling like this before. It's really scaring me...but how many times can I go to a doctor and be told I'm fine but still feel like I'm dying? Because that's what it feels like to me today...life draining out of me.

[Dancing Queen]

Sounds horrid but sure it will get better soon..hopefully all anxiety related rather than something dire. Hope the results are ok xx

[Vieja Bruja]

Hi BlueButterfly

I'm so sorry that you're feeling so rubbish, hormones do a great job of making us feeling like that.  I recognise some of your symptoms and I know that the anxiety, dread and worry is draining, then you add all the physical symptoms and you feel like you're at the end of your tether.

I think you need reassurance that this is definitely hormone related, even the pounding heart, I would say speak to your GP and discuss every symptom you have and make sure you write them down so you don't miss anything. 

What age are you, what stage of your menopause journey are you at, are you on HRT?

You need to find something that helps you focus and relax at the same time, it's not for everyone but I learnt to crochet and it helps alleviate a lot of my symptoms (most of the time).

Please remember that you're not alone x

[kimmyi]

Anxiety can make you feel really unwell, I had terrible anxiety back in 2016/17 was back and forth to my GP, never experienced any like it in all my life, I lost weight, couldn't eat properly and sleeping was hard, my GP put me on Propranolol and have been on since then, anxiety is a horrible thing that takes over your life and makes you feel so unwell, I really hope you get this resolved, probably hormones to blame, take care 😔

[Annie0710]

Where in meno are you? Are you on hrt ?

These unfortunately are (to many) normal symptoms of peri and are absolutely horrid

If your bloods come back fine hopefully you will be reassured that although nasty symptoms, you are ok then you can start dealing with meds/hrt or strategies to make yourself feel better x

[CLKD]

Nothing is 'only' or 'just'!  These physical feelings are what floor me  .  Hence the emergency medication.  I *know* what causes my anxiety, I understand how it works but that doesn't stop the physicality taking over!

Your body could be hungry?  If you didn't graze 'enough' in the last 4-5 days this may be the reaction as hormones drift so the body takes notice ........ how old is your daughter?

[BlueButterfly]

Thanks everyone. Doctors are less than helpful sonetimes when you feel so awful. Glad I'm not the only one who has felt like this. I know I'm getting closer to a menstrual cycle so I think my hormones are in a massive state of crash. I'm resting today but struggling getting sleep.
Daughter is 11. Old enough but don't like being so checked out when it's just us at the moment.

I will keep trying to eat more. I do notice I am so much hungrier the more often I am eating. You might be right with this being a reaction combined with the hormones. My body feels in a total crash.

As far as menopause journey goes...I believe I'm in early perimenopause. I honestly don't know yet. Still have "sort of" regular cycles but getting different.  My gut tells me it is... awaiting confirmation from blood tests so I can stop just trying to survive. I was on a contraceptive for almost 7 years at 29/30 after being told ovaries we're shutting down...also given testosterone HRT at that time as well because I had very low/almost none. (36 now)Hormone changes 5 months ago and anxiety/panic hit me like a truck and while they've gotten better I still get big waves I'm terrible at recognizing I guess. Been off all hormones for a few months now so I could get tests done and I've continually been feeling worse and worse so I know I need them back. It'll be nice to know what's going on and maybe a better idea what I need. (I tried a continuous cycle with my contraceptive, skipped placebo week, and my body/anxiety was doing better that way but it still wasn't quite right..so here we are)

It's so hard to believe those hormones (or lack of right now) causes all this mess! I feel like my body just hates me! I hate that my mind can be fine...I can mentally feel okay but my body keeps screaming otherwise. I've never been hoping for a bleed to start soon so much because I know that'll mean a hormone shift and probably some relief!

[jillydoll]

Hi Bluebutterfly,
I'm sorry you feel so poorly,
I know exactly what your going through, I was the same,
everyday , would be such a struggle, weird feelings, thoughts, aches , pains, ect....
The bad moods, and the anxiety was the worst for me, I could cope with everything else, except those,
they really done a good job on me, I even thought some nights I wouldn't make it through to the next day, just an awful, nightmare...
It does get better... it really does, it's just getting through the worst days that's hard. You really have to be kind to yourself, look after yourself, do what your body's telling you to do...

The hrt which I went on at that time, did nothing. So I struggled through, like you have to, then one day, things start to get better, and every day after is a tiny bit better, until one day the hrt kicks in, then when you look back, you realise how far you've come, almost without realising it... and wonder how the hell did I get through that.!!
Then after, you have to keep yourself on an even keel, that's a struggle too, but no where near like it was before ....
Hang on in there, I know it's hard, it will get better..... .

[BlueButterfly]

I didn't expect to get so beat up by this hormone mess. I expected a slower transition or something I guess. I didn't expect to go through the list of symptoms, experience almost every single one, one right after another and then over again in such a short time. This is pure hell. There's no other way to put it honestly. I just want it to stop...or at least just let up for a bit so I can get some strength back to keep pushing through. I fear most right now that I'll just keep getting worse and worse. I'm afraid of the coming days as I've seen how far I've fallen in the last few. I'm afraid of how much worse I could feel. I just need some relief right now. Might have to take some emergency relief today

[racjen]

BlueButterfly I am right in there with you - at it's worst it is HELL. Makes no difference that you know the anxiety comes from a physical source, it's still real and it's like living in a constant nightmare. The only comfort I can give you is that you're not losing your mind, this is what menopause is like for an unlucky minority of us and all we can do is find small ways to get thru from one day to the next, in the hope it will eventually pass. I keep going for my kids (now 18 and 22 but still kids as far as I'm concerned). I've had to phone the Crisis Team quite a few times in the last few months cos I was so desperate, and in the end they always manage to talk me down from doing something rash - I just couldn't do that to the people I love most in the world. Just hang on, do whatever it takes to get from one day to the next xxx

[BlueButterfly]

Racjen,

I understand keep going for the kids. Age does not matter, they are always our babies right? Even if they are bigger than we are. Honestly that's what helps me through the day without totally losing it lately and keep going for answers.

 I have a few answers now but not the whole picture yet. I have low progesterone. So far thyroid is good. Liver, kidneys and adrenals all functioning well. Still waiting for a few tests so will get the whole picture next week but at least right now I do know something that is off that can cause symptoms I'm dealing with. And still healthy... Just a bit  most days

[Annie0710]

Sounds as though it's all hormonal.  My ovaries shut down almost completely when I was 32 following my hysterectomy and it really didn't seem bad, but at 45 I came crashing down and hit me like a tonne of bricks.  Totally floored me and changed me for the worst.  I was scared to go out, to meet people and just generally felt ugh

Testosterone has been my saviour x

[Letmein]

These have been my symptoms of the perimeopause. It took me a while to accept it and I was petrified that I was suffering from something serious before I accepted it was 'only' the peri. Since I have, I cope with it much better although its still a pain especially as it hit me out of the blue.

I've tried hrt but it didn't work for me. I think it is because all this is triggered in my case by an imbalance with too much progesterone and not enough oestrogen to balance it out. When I tried peri the progesterone that I had to take made it all much worse. It is definitely worth trying though.

It is hard because indeed the anxiety is not mental. I've never been so relaxed and unstressed in my life but it does stop me feeling invaded by a sense of  physical hyperness or whatever describes the antonym of calm and relax! It's always worse at night and early mornings for me hence very poor sleeping which of course then makes it worse.

I'm seeing my gp to know if there is something that would help medically besides hrt. I already do all what is recommended, no caffeine, no alcohol, exercising, healthy eating etc...

[BlueButterfly]

Honestly you ladies are a Godsend! It's so nice to know I'm not alone and losing my mind. I think I've been in for more doctor appointments in the last 5-6 months than I have in the last decade. Some symptoms make sense but others, I just don't understand at all. Those are the ones that throw me off.

I was doing okay on my contraceptive pill for almost 7 years then got hit with this Hell. I wish I was back on it right now because it was better than having nothing. Wednesday just can't come fast enough so I can see what options I'll be given.

Feeling better today but still have those strange feelings that keep popping up all over in my body. I can feel fine, then my legs just feel heavy and odd. But then it goes away again (seriously can last only 5-10 seconds sometimes)... Same strange sensations will happen in my back or my arms. Muscle aches and pains and random joints hurt too...but it is all very short duration, under a minute than goes away. I really struggle with how NONE of this makes sense with hormones but I can't seem to find what else it could be. Really does make one feel like they have some disease the doctors haven't recognized yet.  I know this seems to be a common theme when we get hit with the peri-truck.

Horrible sleep and awful dreams last night. Was really hoping for a good rest to see if it eased up whatever was going on with me. Just going to take it easy this weekend.

[CLKD]

If you can sleep in the day do so!  Listen to your body.

I think adrenaline bursts can make the limbs feel heavy.  For me it's like hot water coursing through my veins.  Are you taking a list to your appt.?