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[Runanddance]

Please please please can anyone help me, advise me, offer their experience. I'm desperate and feel incapable of making the right decisions for myself anymore. I'm hanging by a thread.
I was post menopause at 41. Last month,a year later, I was told it was essential I start HRT due to family history of osteoporosis and heart disease.
-granny, had crushed vertebrae (my only memories of her are with a stoop). Died at 63, ovarian cancer.
My aunt, post meno 51 broke her femur at 54 when osteoporosis was diagnosed.
My mum, official post meno at 60. Just last month broke her wrist at 64, osteoporosis.
Heart disease in my dad side male/female.
Because of this I started kilogest conti. Only for protection against osteoporosis and heart disease. I have no menopause symptoms to date.
Day 1/2 fine.
Day 3-7 Horrific PMT. Bone tired, joint pain, anti social, unmotivated, fluid retention to name a few.
Day 7-14 I started cramping. At times I couldn't even stand up straight. PMT got even worse.  Twice my partner woke me up as I was crying in my sleep.
Day 15-17 (today) bleeding with massive clots. I was told to expect a bit of spotting but this is a full on bleed. Cramping and back pain like my worst months having periods with endometriosis.  So bad this morning  I had to be driven home from work. 
I can't cope. I'm on the edge of tears the whole to time.
I spoke to my doctor yesterday very briefly  on the phone and she said if it doesn't suit me just stop and take my chances. The ball is in my court.
I feel incapable of making the right decision. I don't know what to do. Does it get easier. I'm terrified of getting osteoporosis. My aunt said her biggest regret in life is not taking HRT due to the impact osteoporosis has on her life.
I don't know what to do. I can't live like this. If someone offered me a tablet and told me I could take it and not wake up I would.

[Dancinggirl]

Hi and welcome to mm

It's often better to start a sequential hrt first as the progesterone everyday can give more side effects.

There are lots of options and I'm afraid many of us have to try a variety of hrt regimes before finding the one that works well with minimal side effects.

Look under TREATMENTS on this sight, print things off to show the GP.
Many of us like the transdermal hrt regimes, particularly oestrogen patches or Oestrogel, with progesterone for 12 days each month in pill form(either Utrogestan or Provera). Sequential hrts will involve a monthly bleed but this is often preferable to having progesterone every day.
It might be worth trying Femoston 1/10 next - this is still combined hrt as pills but the progesterone is less harsh so is often well tolerated by many women. 
We're here to support you. DG x

[CLKD]

This too will pass!   

Stop the HRT you have been given.  It will take a few days for the body to get rid of the back-log of medication then you should begin to feel better.  If you have a family history of ovarian cancer, you may find 'ovacome' charity web-site useful. [it's how I landed here  ]

Your GP lacks bed-side manner by the sound of it, probably because she/he has no idea about menopause? Not uncommon in the UK sadly  .

Your GP should send you for a bone density scan.  The best area of the body is pelvis and hips as this is the densest area of bone.  You could also look at the UK osteoporosis society web-site.  Browse round, make notes.

Some ladies find that keeping a mood/food/symptom diary of use.  Let us know how you get on.

[Runanddance]

Thank you ladies,
 my doc said i just wasnt suited to HRT. I didnt know to ask about other options. She didn't offer any follow up appointments. Just said I should be fine. It was a gynae that my GP refered me too as my GP doesn't deal with it. The gynae said I could follow up in the next year with my GP as she could foresee no problems. 😭. It leaves me nowhere.
Also can endometriosis come back post meno.
I know my problems are most likely small compared to others but I've gone for a social active person to someone who can just about get dressed and leave the house.
I guess I need to let my head clear and do some research.

[aspie65]

There are other ways to prevent osteoporosis, check out https://www.iofbonehealth.org/preventing-osteoporosis

[Dancinggirl]

Hi Runanddance
You can just go to your GP and ask to try a different hrt. They really should be prepared to help and if not you need to ask for another referral.
Try asking for Femoston 1/10 to see if it's any better.
If you are worried about the endo coming back then having a Mirena fitted might be a good option for you and then you can have oestrogen as patch or gel - this is a very popular hrt combo.
To try just one type of HRT and to be then told hrt doesn't suit you is simply wrong and very bad advice.
DG x

[racjen]

That's a ridiculous situation - you're being given medication that's making you feel suicidal to deal with what is, at the moment, a hypothetical problem. It would be laughable if it wasn't so bloody tragic that you're being subjected to this. I'd say come off it immediately, get your quality of life back and then do some more in-depth research into other ways of preventing osteoporosis. There's no point making your life a misery for something that might and might not happen in the future. Bloody doctors, at least half of them should be shot.....

[Sgtvhilts]

Oh bless you.
This whole meno thing is such a drag. I so feel for you. You sound really wobbly.
Now, I'm no expert just another fellow traveller.
This will pass and you will find a treatment that suits you.
I've just started- in april on femeston 1, then upped to 2, the transformation is incredible.
I have been an up and down kida gal all my life, but boy oh boy did the anxiety crank up to a different level and the moooood swings. I started an ssri- again and that too has really helped.
I keep bringing it up on here- but you have a life to live right now , so get it sorted.
If your gp isn't hrt friendly then see another.  At my practice they are all okay and pretty up front about where their knowlege sits, one of the guy gp's said to me a few weeks ago “ i have no idea about hrt etc, it's not my bag, but Dr w is the one to see , she is right up to speed on it- i really appreciated his honesty.
Good luck and keep the faith, you will find someway of sorting this

[Runanddance]

Thank you all. Just knowing you are reading and caring helps a lot.
I stopped taking the kilogest this morning and considering this time yesterday I was genuinely wishing for death I already feel better. I think it was a good decision. I was so crippled with anxiety, fear and pain I just  needed to reach out for help. I'm very grateful I found it.
I'm still cramping very badly and teary. Feel very fragile but I'm sure this will pass.
Not sure what my next step will be. After been dismissed by the doctor before I feel anxious about reaching out to her again.
Who'd have thought such a tiny white pill could turn a calm,confident social women into an anxious quivering mess 😬.
Thanks again for advise girlies xxx😘

[racjen]

Don't go back to the same GP - can you ask to see a different on in the same practice? I eventually asked my practice manager who was the best GP to see for menopausal problems, and she immediately made me an appointment with someone much more sympathetic - that's made a big difference. Why the hell the original GP couldn't have said 'sorry, I don't know much about this, you'd be better off with Dr. B' I just don't know, would've saved me months of hitting my head against a brick wall.

[Runanddance]

Hi racjen
 I think I am going to look at changing practice altogether. The clinic I'm with while state of the art has 3 full time doctors (1 female,1 male, and 1 older guy who is waaay past retirement.) Then endless transient  locums. You rarely see the same doctor twice and I have been given medications I'm allergic to many times by mistake.
It costs me €60/65 each time I visit GP so I guess continuity of care is not a big ask.
 I will start my research when I feel better and look for someone willing to help. Xx

[Hurdity]

Thank you ladies,
 my doc said i just wasnt suited to HRT. I didnt know to ask about other options. She didn't offer any follow up appointments. Just said I should be fine. It was a gynae that my GP refered me too as my GP doesn't deal with it. The gynae said I could follow up in the next year with my GP as she could foresee no problems. 😭. It leaves me nowhere.
Also can endometriosis come back post meno.
I know my problems are most likely small compared to others but I've gone for a social active person to someone who can just about get dressed and leave the house.
I guess I need to let my head clear and do some research.

Hi Runanddance

  from me too.

I just can't believe what your doctor said about not being suited to HRT!!! The others have already told you about the different options but I can't find Kliogest on our lists any more so wonder where you are getting it from? I'm pretty sure it used to be available but now we just have Kliovance and Kliofem.

If it is 2 mg oestrogen then this may well be too much too soon and also it could well be the continuous norethisterone making you feel this bad. Unfortunately if you had bad endometriosis then depending whether you have residual despoists outside the uterus - you may need to take an oral progestogen continuously so it is very important to find one that suits you!

I am not quite sure of the protocols re endometriosis but if it was confined to the uterus then a Mirena coil may well do the job and prevent it redeveloping as Dancinggirl says. I'm not sure whether there is enough absorption in the body from this to prevent growth of endometrial deposits outside the uterus but this would be something for your specialist to advise. That would be a great solution as you could gradually add in oestrogen until you felt well!

I do agree with Stellajane about the importance of protection as I have a close relative also with osteoporosis who has broken several bones - and as life expectancy is so much greater now you could live for 50 years post-menopause!

Good luck with your change of doc and working out your next step. Do not despair! Things will get better!

Hurdity x

[Runanddance]

Thanks Hurdity,
Yep it's definitely kilogest 2mg estradiol/1 mg norethisterone in a little pink dial. I live in Dublin Ireland. I have been having trouble finding out other people's experience on it.
Loads of great info in yours and everyone's reply. The mirena sounds interesting. Can you have it if you've never had children?  My gynae never discussed any other options with me. We also never discussed the endo. She had no interest in what my cycle was like before as it has no bearing things now. Surely a full history should have been taken
I also suffered BAD PMT each month as well for a few days and had a short 24/25 day natural cycle. Does any of this have any bearing on your choices?
Lots of questions  I know for anyone who can advise on any of them. None of my girlfriend's are even peri yet so my pool of people to ask is very limited.  That's why I'm sooo grateful to have found you wonderful people. 😘
Also I'm feeling a lot better this morning (got a full nights sleep last night 🤗) and am looking forward to doing some research although am still nervous about going back to the way I was.
I was going to take a month or 2 off HRT let everything settle???  Good or bad idea.

[SueLW]

Hello

You can have a Mirena without ever having had children.  I've had one and ever had any children.

I don't know from any experience, but coming off for 2 months will just give your symptoms 2 months to really kick in again and then it will take 3 months for the new regime to settle in.  I'd be tempted to go from one to the other.  Personal choice though, on something like this.

[Hurdity]

The Mirena was originally developed for contraception so designed to stop you having children - at least when you don't want them anyway!

I also tend to agree with SueLW - whilst you don't want to continue with something (your current HRT) that is making you feel worse - your symptoms are likely to worsen after stopping - mine definitely kicked back in after several weeks, so try to get going with whatever you decide asap if you can?

Your cycle length is immaterial because if you are post-menopause - then you don't have a regular cycle as such, although hormones do fluctuate still for some years. I had a short cycle (24 days - right pain!) for the first part of my menstruating life ( nearly 20 years) but after having children it became more or less the average 28 day cycle. In POF in very young women there can sometimes be spontaneous resumption of ovarian activity, so I have read - not sure of the actual ages and incidence.

Hurdity x