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[aliwade71]

It seems that I literally know nothing about the menopause.  I thought it was a 'phase' that a woman would go through, and of course it varies for every woman, but I thought it would eventually stop.  I had no idea that HRT may be needed to be taken for the rest of your life.  I had no idea that there were so many different treatments, and that is just the prescription ones.  I stood in Boots yesterday and looked at all the supplements etc marketed for menopause.  #confusing  I have so much to learn.

[Emerald2017]

The same here...I had absolutely no idea! It was like a shock for me!!! I really don't think that it is natural...it is unnatural to feel that way and yes...maybe we need hrt for life...

[Wilks]

Same for me too! It was a total shock. I thought it was just about having a few hot flushes for a few years.....

[aliwade71]

Perhaps it is just a phase for lots of women?  I am being positive/naive !  We all know the woman who said that her periods stopped and she had no problems at all.  I am the 'Queen of chronic health conditions that doctors cannot treat', so fearing that I will have every weird symptom and invent some more 

[grumpyjane]

Same for me too! It was a total shock. I thought it was just about having a few hot flushes for a few years.....

Same for me! I thought a few hot flushes and that was it. Suffered for years in ignorance before I asked for help. 
Into my 11th year of flushes, HRT helps a bit but I'm not the same person any more. I've learnt a lot from this forum and you will too ali. Jxx

[jillydoll]

I too knew nothing. Not one iota....
Just thought, a few hot flushes like me mom had, it'll be
hunky dory,..........NOT.....
Why aren't we educated on this, ? Beats me.......

Jd x

[Daisydot]

I think we are all pretty much the same but there are good lessons to be learnt from this,I have 6 granddaughters and I will make damned sure I educate them as best I can about what's ahead, if ,like my daughter, they have no interest then I tried.I'm not going to beat myself up about it because I do know at some stage in her life possibly when it gets too much to deal with she'll come back to me and maybe be prepared to accept what little bit if help I can give her.what shocks me is they are so quick to teach them about all the other sexual stuff that actually plays a very small part in the big picture and not teach them about this so called natural progression of ageing.Its a bloody horrible life phase that we need help getting through we may think nowadays we are more open with our children but are we really,are we too modern mums that our children don't feel comfy with because we are sexual beings who want testosterone for our low libidos and freely talk about our dry vaginas and stuff.Have we unwittingly created a different kind of barrier with our children that we didn't experience because none of us like to think about our mums and dads having sex lives really,it never even entered my head as a teen I just knew that my mum knew about stuff that I didn't and I never questioned where her or granny got that knowledge from but are we too open with our children because of our hang ups with our own mums and have we created a problem.My poor mum suffered terribly at the end of her life with one uti after another I now realise it was v.a if I could turn the clock back to help her I'd give anything,if I'd maybe been taught in school about meno and v.a not just sex would it have made a difference would I have been confident enough to help her,yes I think I would have ,same as if we taught this generation of grandchildren and children what to expect later in life then they wouldn't have to suffer like we do.It needs to be in an acceptable way to them though like sex education in schools make it a natural part of this,not by mum and granny telling them because there are barriers there and maybe boundaries that could make them uncomfortable like my daughter is I can see that.Does this make sense? Xx

[sheila99]

Absolutely agree Daisydot. I consider myself quite well informed about most things but I new nothing about meno symptoms apart from hot flushes and missed periods. As I had neither of these symptoms I wasted 2 years of my life suffering extreme fatigue, insomnia, anxiety etc etc, undiagnosed by two different GPs. I only twigged because of celebs talking about it on TV. My 14 yo daughter knows all about it, she has born the brunt of my bad temper (as well as a Mum too tired to do things with her). She's read the 'advice for husbands' post which is excellent. The main thing is that they are aware of all the possible different symptoms so they make the connection to meno when the time comes. At least we have informaton available from the internet and forums such as this so we can be informed when we come across unhelpful doctors. I feel extremely bad for older generations. My mother was bed ridden for 2 years when they damaged her back during a botched operation for repeated cystitis. She's no longer with us so I can't ask but I suspect it was VA.
  Perhaps we should put the 'advice for husbands' post up on the wall in every GP surgery so they can recognise the symptoms too!

[Dotty]

I was the same sheila99. I struggled for 6 years and saw numerous doctors and they all said I was depressed and had got chronic fatigue syndrome . I now know it was all due to falling oestrogen levels. I knew nothing about menopause. I thought your periods stopped and you had hot flushes. My health deteriorated drastically a year ago and the penny dropped that all my problems were due to menopause . I was so ill. Now I've thankfully found an hrt that is working.

It's all so very sad and frustrating that so many women are suffering unnecessarily.

[Tinkerbell]

I was oblivious too, thought it was some hot flushes and an increase risk of osteoporosis, I have never had a hot flush! I would like to know why I knew nothing about the awful VA, which is my main symptom, and why it is never talked about.
My teenage daughter asked what the Vagifem were for, I told her so hopefully she won't be so ignorant of the condition.

[Wilks]

It's quite outrageous really, that there's been this culture of not communicating the full implications of menopause. I know that some women don't experience many problems but millions of us do. I think it's partly because it's a natural progression and not a disease, but it's as debilitating as a disease for so many of us, and particularly for women who have had surgical menopause thrust upon them.

[Lisa1966]

I think it's an absolute disgrace that women are so ill informed,about what could potentially happen to them at this horrific stage of life,all we are led to believe is that your periods stop,and you get hot flushes.nobody mentions va or the anxiety depression and mood swings so many suffer with,these symptoms are the ones that can take lives,i very nearly have my life up a lot of times in the last 18 months. The very worse thing is I'm not me anymore,the old me who used to love a good laugh has gone,I can't laugh anymore,I fear that person has gone for good,it's the strangest feeling,like someone else is living in my body,I don't like this new person,who has no sense of humour,and feels like I am just drifting from one day to the next,stumbling through life like it's not reality,like someone turned my lights off,blew out the flame of my life. Why the ...k didn't anyone warn us about this,why is it we have to find out from our own resources,when we are so desperate that we think it's better to just end it all,because we feel so ill and scared,that we feel like we are dying anyway, and nobody at the gp surgery tells you,they just give you ads and refer you to the psychiatric team,who then pump you with more drugs,some of them nasty nasty drugs,why the hell did nobody say anything,why didn't the gps read the signs. It's time this changed,lives need to be saved now xx

[Wilks]

Lisa, your post brought tears to my eyes. I too was at the brink of suicide and no-one twigged it could be menopause related. I hope you get some relief soon xx

It's good that there now seems to be progress in raising awareness, because more women than ever are working and we may end up seeing an avalanche of working women struggling with menopause.

[aliwade71]

I have Fibromyalgia, and I do wonder now how many of my symptoms are crossed over with Peri-Menopause, ie fatigue/brain fog/anxiety/mood swings etc etc?

[Lisa1966]

Thank you wilks,progress needs to be made more quickly,it's imperative that these gps and psychiatric teams are educated fully,because it took me 12 months of hell to make the link,me not the gp,or the 2 psychiatric nurses or the 2 psychiatrists,2 drugs for psychosis,hell on earth is the only way to describe it. It was only when I read carol vordermams story and found this website,did I have a light bulb moment,and since then I read stories on here everyday,of women in the same situation,frightened and bewildered as to what the hell is happening to them. More needs to be done and it needs to be done now,not in 10 years time,now xx