Katymac, I certainly understand how it feels to have all these digestive/gastro issues. I suspect that's where the problem lies. I also have had a long history of these issues that started with IBS in my 20s and now I have slow transit problem in my colon which I'm now having to deal with by using a Peristeen device. I'm also waiting for an liver ultrasound as my GP suspects gallbladder problems, but that's a more recent problem.
Because my colon doesn't function properly it gets very full and I can become quite distended, sometimes very distended. Even when I had a colonoscopy a couple of years ago, despite a week on the low residue diet and laxatives, and then the stuff you have to take the night before, they still had to hoover out over 2 litres from my colon to get the camera thing through. Afterwards my stomach was flatter than it had been for years. It was fantastic! But within 3 days the pot belly was back. Also, with all that distension I'm certain that my ligaments etc have become a bit lax through being constantly stretched. So, I know how it feels to have this weird pot belly effect. My waist and hip measurements don't fluctuate much by the ‘high hip' measurement that I take at the top of the hip bone varies according to how full my system is.
One thing I found is that I have particular parts of my abdomen which get a bit “lumpy†which I suspect are the areas of my colon that don't function. When I was young and had IBS I could feel my colon through my abdomen, but compared to then, my colon seems huge now and meanders all over the place.
If you have had surgery and you have adhesions and scar tissue on the inside I'm sure this could be creating problems with how your digestive system functions. The problem is, nobody ever tells you that a ‘successful' operation can still leave you with long term effects. I suppose there's ‘normal' and there's ‘the new normal' — which isn't really ‘normal'!
If you've already been to a specialist about your gastro problems you're best bet is getting a re-referral via your GP.
It's really difficult at this life stage, and especially with our own specific histories, to know what is to be expected and what needs investigation. From what you describe, I don't think you can write it off as “middle age spread†especially if you don't have that much body fat, certainly not to the extent that it's any sort of plausible explanation. But I also know how scary it is to pick up the phone and make an appointment. I've had to do this myself because of my current pain and discomfort, hence the ultrasound referral.
I hope that whatever it is, it's something not too concerning. X