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[Snoooze]

I too have had health anxiety for around 20 years and anxiety since childhood. It does run in my family and I feel very guilty that I seem to have now passed it onto my children. I wish I had managed to keep it secret from them.

Herbie...perhaps now you have joined this site rather than only posting about your own worries perhaps reply to some other members problems or join in on some of the light hearted threads.

As has been mentioned you are posting these same problems on the No More Panic website and so you are constantly seeking reassurance which is very unhelpful. Plus it seems you don't even listen to the reassurance or then post about another health problem.

I would advise to take a break from here and no more panic. The weather is going to be nice. Get out and enjoy it. Give yourself a task of not posting or seeking reassurance for at least a week.

[weathergirl]

Herbie, I reached a turning point about 10 years ago after suffering since my teens (going on 35 years now).  I realized I HAD to do something.  I'd been to therapists over the years, and it helped to where I would have fairly long, good stretches.  But in the long run, it was not sufficient for the intractable nature of what I was dealing with. 

I then went on low dose medication and it has made a world of difference.  It truly saved me.  I still continued with therapy and did go to a CBT therapist.   That is work, (the homework that CLKD mentions!) and I try to utilize the tools and use them as instructed.  I definitely falter with that, as it takes a lot of consistent effort.  I know how difficult the struggle is.  I kept it mostly to myself all these years as I knew no one wanted to listen to it (they mostly wouldn't understand anyway  ) and I didn't want to damage relationships, etc.  But that's just me and how I dealt with it.  We each have to find our own path.   

[Herbie73]

Weather girl  that's really sad that you can't talk to no one, it's not fair that people just ignore mental illness, you didn't chose to be this way, more needs to be done about it, I'm not ashamed anymore to say I have a problem, and if people don't like it tough it's beginning to make me mad and there's not a lot that does that xx

[Herbie73]

Do you know what I'm just deleting my account because clearly no one gives a ---- , thanks for nothing

[CLKD]

....... so Herbie: I find that response offensive - you seem to forgetten the support that you have had from here?  Hopefully your proposed CBT will help. 

[Herbie73]

I'm not talking about the ladies that have been supportive, I've even thanked each and everyone of you in a post, what I find offensive is people like gypsyrosielee, banging on about me not giving a crap about my daughters, how does she know what it's like unless she has suffered mental health issues, she does not  have the right to comment, like I don't have the right to comment on other illnesses that I have never had and hopefully will never get, I have been very grateful for all the support I have received on here, but why certain people feel the need to bring up the fact that I worry about my daughter going to concerts in this day and age is not relevant to any conversation I have started, anyway thank you to the  ladies that have been supportive and the ones who have nothing constructive to say just leave me alone, I'm sorry if I offend you.

[Taz2]

I'm really sorry that you have been hurt by some comments Herbie but, to be fair, I'm not sure that it was immediately clear that you have a mental illness as well as anxiety. Mental illness can cause anxiety but whereas, although difficult, it is possible to hide your feelings from your loved ones while suffering from panic and anxiety this mostly becomes impossible when also dealing with a mental health illness. It is usual to worry about our children when they begin to go to places on their own but it is also usual to keep those intense feelings from them in order not to fuel their own anxiety. It is possible to do this if you are suffering from anxiety and panic - it is not, in my experience, possible to do this when you are also dealing with a mental illness.

I'm not sure that I was aware that your anxiety was fuelled by a mental illness and maybe GypsyRoseLee wasn't either?

I hope that you are getting the appropriate help and support with the underlying mental health issues and continue to feel supported on here.

Taz x

[Herbie73]

I have suffered mental illness from the age of 13, I've been on Prozac for 20 years, I've had numerous breakdowns, I've struggled on and off for years, I've had good times in between, but every few years I have a relapse, I suffer with health anxiety, ocd, and I've also had depression, so to be told I'm selfish is really hurtful, I've bought my girls up to be caring, loving, hard working, my eldest daughter is now a mum to a beautiful baby boy and she is a fantastic mum, I have alway protected my girls as much as I could and kept them safe and thankfully so far it's worked, I'm not ashamed of being over protective, I've let them lead there own lives, even though it's been hard, but I've never stopped them doing anything, unlike my mum I was never allowed to go anywhere, but I still love and respect my mum and do not hold any grudges, she is a great mum and we are very close, so as you can see when people comment about things the do not know about, it's really hurtful.

[Daisydot]

Hi Herbie don't close your account here.I think by the very fact you have suffered from these things you will make a much valued contributor to the forum when you find yourself in a better place and your feeling a bit stronger,it's good you've reacted as it shows me you still have a bit of gumption in you so use that same spirit to get yourself in a good place away from negativity,I won't bore you with my story but we've all been there it's how you come through it that's important,keep reading and posting and as suggested join in the light hearted section with us it can be quite addictive having fun with us lol.take care xx

[Robin]

I agree. Well put Daisydot.

[GypsyRoseLee]

Herbie, I am very familiar with mental health issues having suffered with severe PND when my first child was born, then years later I suffered a resurgence of the same level of depression and anxiety thanks to the peri menopause. At or point it was so bad that I was singed off work for 2 months and was visited by the Crisis Team several times. At no point were my children aware that I was suffering, all they knew was that I was having a break from work and that DH and I went for an awful lot of very long walks. If they had been adults I would have been (a little) more open with them.

Truly loving your child isn't smothering them with excessive concern. Truly loving them is making sure you never burden them, never mind what it costs you. You said yourself that you gave your DD her health anxiety. I agree you had no choice in learning your health anxiety behaviours from your own mother. But you did have a choice about passing them onto your DD in turn.

Shedding tears at the plight of animals or the elderly doesn't prove you are a good or caring person. It just means you cry easily.

It looks like you have been given an awful lot of helpful and thoughtful advice and reassurance. Most of which you seem to have not taken on board. You appear to yet offer any support or infact any interest in anyone else's problems on here, other than your own? You have done the same on NMP too. At the first hint of my raised eyebrow at your behaviour you immediately become aggressive and threaten to delete your account.

This isn't the behaviour of a mature adult, who selflessly thinks of others.

[Snoooze]

I couldn't agree more GypsyRoseLee.

[Herbie73]

Ladies thank you for all your help Herbie xxxxxx

[Mazza27]

I would just like to say i suffer with health anxiety and herbie I messaged you privately giving you support. I have been and still go through it every time i get a different pain.
It is dreadful and i have put my husband through hell with it, my son has seen me suffereing my mum and my friends! All who have been supportive but it doesnt change your mindset the only person to do that is you.

My father suffered nervous breakdowns when i was younger, i was never privy to any of it growing up it was kept from us but i still suffer with health anxiety and both my parents do suffer anxiety. I dont remember ever seeing my parents worrying like me when i was a child. It is in your make up that i do believe, my son is a anxious person but so am i and so was his dad.  He is a worrier but we talk a lot and he feels safe.

The more we talk about it the more health anxiety will get accepted

Herbie good luck with everything and as i said the cbt will make you think a little clearer about your thoughts will not cure it, its in your make up

Mazza xx

[Dotty]

Daisydot  - your post was lovely and very compassionate . Well said xx