Hi and welcome to MM joburgess
You poor thing - this all sounds so unpleasant and I can understand why you are resisting the mammograms. We now have an NHS that is obsessed with testing but, if tests don't show anything sinister, we get very poor ongoing help for often very distressing conditions. I have had cameras up and down every orafice over the last 2 years, nothing ominous found but no help with my ongoing symptoms - I've just had to find my own strategies to help my problems.
There is concern that breast screening is resulting in too much unnecessary treatment and distress and, as I am very fortunate to not have had any problems with my breasts thus far, I doubt I will continue with breast screening now I am not on HRT. I am not suggesting other women should follow my example though and I may regret this decision. I have had 2 friends who were given the all clear from their mammogram to then discover a cancerous lump a few months later - having said this I am sure this screening has saved many lives.
As to your dilemma: you say you want to take Livial to improve libido and make you feel better? Apart from a low sex drive what other symptoms are you wanting to improve?
What are your periods doing or when was your last period? I tried Livial (due to premature meno I've tried just about every HRT regime going) and it was ok to a point but I got awful acne with it.
Now 62, my libido is really not bad at all. I stopped hrt 2 years ago and expected the sex drive to disappear. I find my libido is maintained through a variety of strategies. Maintaining the intimate area is vital with local oestrogen (Vagifem) and vaginal
Moisturisers ( SYLK or the YES products) - if you are dry and sore then this really doesn't help. Looking after, not just your diet and exercise, which is very important, but taking care of your mental well-being I find is crucial to feeling ‘sexy'. Valuing yourself and feeling good about how you look I think helps to make one feel desirable. If you are stessed, feeling resentful about doing so much for others and anxious about health issues then it's very difficult to feel ‘In the mood'. Let's not forget your partners role in all this either!!! He must not make you feel pressured but put in the effort to make you feel special and desirable. Making time to look your best and doing things you want to do that make you feel positive can help, learn to say NO to things you don't want and try being a bit more selfish. No amount of hormones will truly help libido or your general health if you are feeling stressed, tired and have low self esteem.
Your doctors should also not pressure you over the mammograms - it is your body and you must make your own informed decisions. Sadly, you may just have to pay for mri scans if you feel you should be monitored. I have to say that in your position I wouldn't bother with Livial or any HRT treatment, in the hope it will solve your problems, as the anxiety of the possible risks might counter any good it could do.
Concentrate on getting the positive lifestyle that will support your general health and do everthing you can to boost your confidence - hopefully you can talk this through with your partner and if he wants you back feeling sexy and having fun together then he needs to help you find a good way forward.
You've had a tough time, you are feeling pressured and stressed so be kind to yourself - HRT might well not deliver what you want as, in my experience, so many pills and treatments merely bring other problems. DG x