Hi Hezzalady!
I know exactly how you feel! On top of that, my partner thought it was funny to rearrange the cutlery drawer almost daily when we first moved in together, load the dishwasher how HE thought it should go (despite never having used one).....this is the second marriage for us both btw.....
My first husband was like it too, so I clearly have a type. The lazy slob. This time round, I have managed it differently...
1. His sister commented, when she came to stay, on how the cutlery drawer changed around so often. He laughed and boasted about it. I laughed too, and told my sister and mother in law that I've learned to ignore it after 20 of living with that behaviour with the first idiot for 20 years 😂 The behaviour stopped that minute.
2. If he starts to load the dishwasher like a halfwit (I spent quite a few weeks going through it with him, and getting very angry in the process) and stops half way, I remind him to finish. Then when finished, I ask him to empty it. Any dirty dishes go back in. I only had to do it twice, now the dishwasher gets loaded properly, every time 😂
3. Ive got a spot in the kitchen (plastic container) where I put his crap. He keeps his medications there and his tobacco. Any sweet wrappers, empty pill packs, whatever, I put in there too....much more stuff is going in the bin these days 😂
4. When we moved in together, I noticed he became a lazy urinator (sorry if tmi), in that there were dribbles and drips on the front of the loo and on the tiled floor. I thought it strange, as he hadn't been like that before we'd moved in, and could only surmise that it was because now I was doing all the cleaning. So, I got him to clean the bathroom for a month, and remindedhim to remember to clean all the urine from the outside as well as the puddle on the floor. That behaviour has now stopped too 😂
Is he a lot of work? Yes he is. Have I told him that clearly his first wife neglected her wifely duty to train him 😂? Yes I have. And I also suggested that maybe she gave up because he wouldn't be trained, I know I did with my first husband 😂😂. And does he know I could manage very well without him? Yes he does. So those things are getting easier.
But they do drive you crazy.........most husbands are not like that. We happen to have ones that are, sadly. And they go out of their way to behave like that, like naughty children. I find that handing responsibility for his own crap back to him works, and I rarely need to get angry about it. Also too, I occasionally find if I take a patronising tone with him like, 'Oh dear, that naughty lawnmower fairy has left it out again, what am I to do? works wonders too.......
Thinking of you x
