Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[knorman]

Morning Ladies

Did anyone read the Debbie Magee article in the mail magazine last Sunday?  I really like Debbie Magee, but she believes that the menopause is 'overstated' and then went on to say that she never experienced hot flushes or any other symptoms.  So she is not exactly speaking from experience and hasn't done much to help other women who are having a bad time of it.  I don't take umbrage easily, but I have simmered on this for a week now!

[Tiddles]

I've found this to be the case with a number of women I've spoken to who have had an easy menopause :-( There seems to be a smug  assumption by some that those of us who suffer symptoms are somehow responsible because of our attitude or because of poor resiliance or because of a self fulfilling prophecy whereby if you expect it to be bad, it will be, and that's all there is to menopause !

My brother in law recently overheard a conversation my sister and I were having. My sister suffered no symptoms and bascially looked blank when I described mine. Her husband chipped in smugly with something along the lines of "I'm very healthy, physically and mentally - I never suffer with anything like anxiety."  I replied with "So when did you go through menopause Dave?"

I know there are many significant others who ARE able to empathise and be very supportive even though they've had no personal experience of the symptoms but there is also an awful lot of ignornace out there :-( x

[dangermouse]

It's a form of passive aggressive boasting! She probably didn't have any symptoms (it happens, my mum didn't) but why then talk about it if it doesn't concern you?

Because it can either make you look tough, as in others are making a fuss, or it suggests you are above it because you are healthier/stronger/non-ageing etc.

It's a loaded throwaway comment, although it may have been encouraged (or even misquoted) by the reporter so the women who ‘make a fuss' will also ‘make a fuss' about their article.

[Lanzalover]

I agree with you all.

If they don't have any helpful suggestions/ideas or cann't be sympathetic then I wish they would just keep quitet.

I think I have mentioned this before but my BF had no symptoms apart from erratic periods after the last period nothing but she is always willing to listen and make me laugh.

I now only enter in any conversation about the menopause when someone asks me a direct question or says they are having a hard time.It is strange but I have been asked more questions by concerned husbands/partners than other women (there a lot of wonderful helpful supportive husbands/partners out there) and they should be applauded
I know in my case it was DH who told me I needed help and came with me to the GP appointment.

Love Lanzalover x

[Rosie63]

I agree with all your comments.  None of my friends or family have had or are having any issues with going through menopause and in my experience, unless you have suffered these awful symptoms or side effects from the medication, people just don't understand how debilitating it can be.  I have to admit I have ‘menopause envy' of ladies that sail through the menopause with no problems at all, and that includes my own mum.  That's why I'm so glad I found this lovely forum where I can get some really sound, helpful advice and I know I'm not alone in going through what can sometimes be a challenging journey.

Rosie63 x

[Joaniepat]

Ms Magee's turn may come yet. My mother sailed through menopause but eventually developed osteoporosis and bladder weakness, things that some of us are hoping to prevent by using HRT.
JP x

[Dierdre]

I hate to admit I was one of those who "sailed through menopause" and didn't understand what all the fuss was about. What we don't realise it's not over for some when the periods stop and you think well that's it, it's just the beginning!  I have severe vaginal atrophy  that didn't start until i was 58 and will have for the rest of my life, I'm now 61 and just beginning my HRT journey. Sadly these women won't know what hit them, just like i didn't.

[knorman]

It does help that we are able to have a friendly, understanding natter with each other and no that we are not being divas!

[Aileenf]

Unfortunately my boss who is a year older than me, doesn't seem to be experiencing any menopausal symptoms yet and isn't very sympathetic, which isn't a great help when you feeling at the end of your tether. 

[CLKD]

She's lovely in her own space.  Like anyone with chronic conditions, the last thing we need to hear is ........ "you don't want to be depressed; what have you got 2 B depressed about; you have no reason 2 B depressed; I can't remember if I had hot flushes or not ....... " what I hate is when people in the 'public eye' bleat on about how this/that/other helped/didn't ........ but then admit that actually, they have little or no experience of the condition.

[Mary G]

I'm sure she has never had hot flushes or nights sweats, neither have I, but that is the thin end of a very big wedge. 

She is being complacent and once again, this demonstrates just how little most women know about the effects of oestrogen deprivation and the long term effects on health.  My mother didn't have hot flushes either but she has been plagued with insomnia and bladder problems for over 35 years and still refuses to believe it is hormone related even though it started at menopause.  She also developed high blood pressure a few years after her periods stopped, has curvature of the spine and had two hip replacements. 

My point is a lot of women simply don't know that their long term health problems are caused by oestrogen deprivation.  I am so pleased that my thermostat tanked otherwise I might too have been lulled into a false sense of security and not started using HRT.

HRT is not just about relieving menopause symptoms, it is a preventive medicine. 

I'm afraid a lot of women are menopause deniers, my sister is one of them and refuses to talk about it.  I think part of the problem is that a lot of women are still scared of HRT and think there is nothing they can do about menopause symptoms so self preservation kicks in and they pretend they don't exist. 

I think it is dreadful that so many women suffer horrendous symptoms in silence when all their problems could so easily be fixed with a dose of oestrogen.

[Dierdre]

When I look back to my late forties I had health issues for years, I suffered from anxiety and palpitations that I didn't even relate to menopause. Women probably do suffer menopausal problems but don't know it?

[marras]

Absolutely none of my friends have suffered through menopause so I have learned to keep quiet!  I thank goodness for this site which has helped me through many very difficult years. Still, at least it's being talked about now in the media. Andrea McLean has fessed up to wearing sanitary towels under her armpits to soak up the sweat! As for Debbie Magee, well bully for her, some people are just born lucky.

[CLKD]

Is someone going to tell her 

[Shadyglade]

Well that's what you get for reading the Daily Wail.  Not exactly known for being interested in facts. 

There have been lots of other news items, in different newspapers, saying the opposite so just ignore the rubbish ones.  We know the truth that some women have good menos and others bad. That's it really.