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[CLKD]

How much exercise do you get each day, maybe sitting a lot puts pressure on that region? 

It doesn't matter what else others are going through!  This is your journey, your difficulties, your need to find a way to acceptance.  Your problem is almost unique.

Hopefully now that the snow is beginning to disappear you will be able to go out occasionally, maybe a museum; a drive in the countryside to a pub/cafe; a walk on the Prom somewhere.  Your husband needs to accept also.  Things are not going to be 'the same'.

[Tiddles]

I'm very sorry to read what you've been through and wish you all the luck in the world in your journey back to happy.  Here's my story - you might find something helpful in it - I hope so.

When I was depresssed I would spend hours / days just sitting looking inward ("obsessing" is what I called it) which fed my low state of mind.  After researching and reading about how others had found their way back to happy after a life changing event I concluded happiness wasn't going to come to me - I had to get out and find it.    I had moved across country away from family and friends so it was just me and hubby but through my reading and research I also concluded that I had to take responsibility for my own life in this respect and not look to others (ie hubby) to fix me because that wouldn't work.

Never having been a club joiner before I bit the bullet and started joining things.  I joined a U3A local history group and a U3A book club.  I joined a Walking for Health group and then Ramblers.  I joined a local community singing group.  Not only did I meet people who gave me a different prespective on life but by filling up my week with potentially enjoyable activities I had less time to look inward and eventually I realised I had regained my peace of mind and contentment.  And now I actually enjoy the activities but can also spend a day alone without obsessing on the things I used to obsess about.  If a black cloud threatens on the horizon I get out and do an activity with other people. If nothing else it forces me into thinking about something else which helps restore my energy and balance.

I hope this doesn't sound a flippant respose to your troubles which sound far greater than anything I've experienced.  And I realise there must be practical constraints for you and possibly the very thought of walking up to a group of new people may seem too much but if you can find the strength to do it once and keep in mind that many of those people are there for similar reasons to you, you may find the next time easier and if you can fill your time with nice, outward looking things, eventually your persepctive may shift as mine did. xxx

[CLKD]

No advice or suggestion is flippant.  It can be read, absorbed, then decisions can be made as to if it is/not appropriate at this time.

[groundhog]

Thanks Ladiesx
CLKD yes I do spend far too much time sitting, I do hardly any exercise now.  I think my problem is unique as you say and I do feel quite abandoned. I have got it in my head now that this thing is just poisoning me. I never feel great physically as I've said and there are other things coming on board for example , I now have an eye condition called episcleritis which is linked to inflammation, I have spots and rashes.  So my point is I just feel worn down by it all and no matter what I do as in diet etc, whilst this thing is there eating away at me, I feel I'm destined to fail.  I'm seeing my consultant soon plus a new consultant next week who will look at my case medically as opposed to surgically.
Hello Tiddles, don't think we have spoken before x
I know I have to go out and find happiness, I just feel so worn down and exhausted .  I did feel a little better today and I've done quite a lot of jobs around the house which makes me feel better about myself.  My husband went to the gym for a swim and it did us good to have some time apart.
I realise I have become the fistula , it's all I think about but that's onky because it is so unrelenting .  I am trying so hard now to be positive and accept this.  I won't say beat it as I don't think that can be done without more surgery.

It's a year tonight I got sepsis and a year tomorrow I nearly met my maker. 
Not s good week for me xx

[Lanzalover]

Sending you a great 


Lanzalover x

[Tiddles]

  xxx

[CLKD]

Break this into small amounts.

Look at your over-all diet
Look at your over-all requirement of pain relief
Look at your necessity for more exercise
Rockhopper has good advice!