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[Jaq69]

Feel like I've lost it... I can't cope with the emotional ups and downs.. could quite easily walk away from everything at mo... head banging.. crying all the time.. husband reacts with anger and then not speaking ... where do I go from here?

[CLKD]

Print off 'advice for husbands' from here.  Will bump it.

[CLKD]

Right - that's done!

Sounds about normal from where I'm sitting.  Can you tell us more?  Last monthly period?  Any particular symptoms that are bothersome?

How were you prior to your periods?   Is there a pattern that relates to how you are now?

Some ladies find that keeping a mood/food/symptom diary useful.

[Jaq69]

Thanks have did me that already with him m but will try again ... still having periods... bled last week so this is unusual to feel so crap now... have been on oestrogen gel and progesterone tablets for about 4 months now... locum doc diagnostics peri symptoms... seem to have been doing the trick but have felt myself slipping back down again ... is it normal? I know it's irrational thoughts ... is it worth going to see someone? Feel
So alone and stressed and anxious

[Dancinggirl]

The peri stage is tricky - your own hormones will be fluctuating in the background - so this will give ups and downs.

Do try to use some Mindfulness or other techniques to get you through this time.  HRt helps but it won't solve everything.

Read this and look at ‘ Perils of the perimenopause':

MENOPAUSE SYMPTOMS
Menopausal symptoms are not just about flushes and sweats. Many women experience mood changes such as low mood, mood swings, tearfullness and anxiety. Talk about it, explain how you are feeling so that your family, friends and work colleagues understand.

You can experience Menopausal symptoms even if you are still having periods. The phase known as perimenopause is when hormonal levels fluctuate and can trigger a range of symptoms. See: perils of the perimenopause
https://www.menopausematters.co.uk/magazine/articles-mainly.php#perils

DG x

[Jaq69]

Thanks for the links... will look to getting back into yoga to help with anxiety.. took a Valium last night.. I know that's not an answer but certainly helped my mind rest and sleep.. got a few issues I need to get sorted and hopefully get support and understanding at home... it's how to get a husband on side who thinks it's all about him and guilts me into thinking I'm crazy and need mental help.. is this a common occurrence for women?

[aspie65]

It took my husband a long while to fully accept I had no control over what was happening to me.  In the meantime consider some help in addition to HRT.  SSRIs can help a lot (don't be put off by all the horror stories), also there is a drug I really like for anxiety and sleep which is called pregabalin.  If your problems continue/worsen then go back to your doctor and see what they can do to help you.  This really is a tough time.

[Jaq69]

Thanks for replies... I'm going to go back to docs and see if u can be referred xx

[knorman]

Morning Jaq69

I avoided HRT for quite a few years, but once I started screaming at my OH for the most inconsequential of things, I knew it was time to get help. My OH is extremely patient and kind, but I pushed even him to his limits, he began to think that I could control the outbursts, which I couldn't. I do not know as much about HRT as a lot of the women on here, but maybe you need a higher dose?  Alone, stressed and anxious describes so many of us on here, I don't think this weather is helping us particularly either, unless you are able to get out into it and have some fun! There is always someone to talk to on here and hope you take comfort in knowing that for the moment, this is our menopausal madness and will one day pass and that you are not on your own. Take care x

[Stephjkm]

Morning Jaq69,

You are certainly not going mad and are not alone. It really is amazing how one little hormone can have such an effect on our lives. My husband is the most patient, kind man I have ever known and we were close to splitting up last year due to my symptoms. Although he understood them and constantly said that he hated me feeling that way he was pushed to the limit and responded with anger which meant that we were almost constantly at each others throats. Luckily HRT has worked for me - so far, I just hope it remains effective.

I hope you are able to get some more help and feel normal again soon. I feel for you

[CLKD]

OK - you took a Valium.  If you are hungry, do you not eat?   . These as-necessary drugs can ease symptoms so that we get respite. Without the one my GP prescribes, I wouldn't be here!  Because I know that it works: usually between 20 and 45 mins., so that my body gets rest, I don't have to rely on them.  I also have a beta-blocka every night.  If it works, don't worry about what others may think!

Some find HRT is enough.  Some find the two together useful.  There is no 'one size fits all' 

[Jaq69]

Thanks for all the kind responses... it certainly helps to realise we're not alone with this madness... we're together 24/7 running a business so doesn't help the situation at all that there's no escape from it.... upside is feeling a lot more like myself today and feel normal again Till the next episode 😏..

[CLKD]

Maybe have a 'buzz' word that he can throw at you