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[Hurdity]

Thanks for the update Juliet and glad you are seeing glimmers of hope on the horizon!   Remember most women who take HRT do so quite happily and don't come near a forum like this so you may well be perfectly OK on the synthetic progestogen, and in any case there are bound to be a few changes just as with normal menstrual cycles. The main point is to feel better overall when taking HRT than you did before and keeping a video diary is brilliant because you can see how far you've come - or if you are feeling down - you can compare to what you said weeks or months ago.

Hurdity x

[Juliet]

Feel like I have gone backwards and not sure if it is because I have started the progesterone element of the Elleste Duet (green tablets) - now taken 5. Anxiety is really bad on waking with lots of thoughts about how terrible everything in my life is (when it really isn't) - going over all the ways my life is rubbish because of poor choices I have made. Also feel exhausted and like I need to go back to sleep.

Going for a run helped yesterday with the physical feelings, but this morning I tried 30 mins meditation and now have a lot of work to get through so a run is not on the cards.

Not sure what to do and hoping for advice. Is this anxiety normal when starting HRT and should I wait and see if it settles ? Things were feeling so much better last week and I thought I was finding a way out

[SS1995]

Hey Juliet, sorry I haven't checked the forum in ages!

I remember when I first started on HRT I really really struggled because I'm not a person who even takes painkillers. So for me being on HRT took control from me and it took me until the last few months to come to terms with it and start taking my tablets consistently.
When I was having a really hard time at the start I did go to the doctors three times about anxiety and depression and I was told “that it would all get better in time”. It's not great to be honest. Doctors understanding of it is not great. I think if you're not happy with the type of HRT you've been prescribed just try different ones until you are. I wasn't happy with the first three times I was prescribed medication.

I hope what you can take from this is that you are not alone in all this😊😊

[NorthArm]

Hi Juliet

When I started taking hrt tablets last year, it was exactly as you describe...felt really good on the oestrogen then awful on the progesterone part. I'm now on a Climara 50 patch (change once weekly) and 1.25mg noresthisterone for 12 - 14 days of my cycle...so much better. The anxiety wouldn't quite go though, so I also take 10mg of paroxetine in the morning, which has really helped too. Good luck with it all xx

I well understand the grief you feel, and the sadness over life choices - it's awful, like all the joy is gone, only to be replace with sadness and anxiety. Rest assured it's hormonal (well most of it is, these are real things after all) and with good management you will regain your sense of equilibrium. But it will take time, and in the meantime you have mm for support too xx

[Juliet]

thank you for hearing me helps so much.

Started on Femoston 2/10 as alongside the anxiety I was getting with Elleste I was also getting some flushes. Not sure if that was the right move as my email from Dr Currie came through on Sunday and recommended Femoston 1/10.

I think the important thing is that I try this for the 3 full months before considering changing again as I think anxiety is making me question everything including the HRT treatment. Just so impatient to feel 'normal' again and not used to feel like I am not in control of myself.

xxx

[dahliagirl]

Hi - I was told to change either the amount of oestrogen, or the type of progestogen, rather than both together so that you know what is working. You have changed both 

I started on Elleste (I think they all do it because it is cheap) and didn't like it because it made my aches more painful, and it gave me a painful bleed of sticky dark stuff.    Norithisterone is a very effective progestogen 

So I went on Femoston 1/10 and then 2/10 and have been ok ever since.  I think it is a pretty good choice and hope it works out for you as well.

I still wake up with an 'oh bugger' feeling, but I do not have the anxiety during the day that I still had on the 1/10.  I do exercise and lots of breathing.

[Juliet]

thank you for the support Dahliagirl, although you are right I should have started with the Femoston 1/10. Glad it has helped you. I will see how it goes and trying to think more positively.

[dahliagirl]

I am sure it will be fine - 2mg is a medium dose.  I think they just like you to try the low dose first to see if it works, as there was a 'lowest dose for the shortest time' edict after the millennium studies panic.  You will need to give it a good try though.  It is sometimes worth keeping a diary every day, as one day you can feel bad, then it feels as if it has been like that forever, and vice versa.  A diary gives you better perspective.

Since I upped to the 2mg, I feel more normal.  Not inclined to burst into tears, go mad and do something daft, or hide away because I am too scared of doing the above. 

[paisley]

Hi Juliet
Sorry you aren't feeling good. I was intolerant to progesterone. Hated it. Everything you are going through is normal & you are not alone. Your husband probably doesn't understand why you have changed. Have you tried talking to him about the menopause & how it is affecting you. It is very unsettling to feel like that I know but with the right HRT you can get back to being you

[Juliet]

I can't wait to feel like that Dahliagirl. I was keeping a video diary as I have a Youtube channel for other stuff, but to be honest I have struggled to motivate myself to keep a record for the past few days, so I think I will go back to recording my mood in my diary for now and not stress about video stuff. You are right, I do have better days, although my days currently are characterised by waking up anxious which worsens for a couple of hours and then fades into very low mood. I used to be such a curious person always wanting to find out stuff, now I can't see the point. I feel like my sense of humour has completely deserted me. I so hope I feel the benefits of HRT soon. Then I start wondering if maybe this has nothing to do with the meno and that my whole life is the problem! 

Thank you for your understanding words, Paisley, my husband is the one bright spot in all this and his has been so supportive. He has struggled with depression on and off for years so he understands me and is really trying to step up. I hate seeing him worry about me and I know he misses the me from before.

[dahliagirl]

It is worth getting a bit of sunshine if you have low mood    It is the time of year when your vit D is depleted, but the sun is out so you can make some more   

[Juliet]

I'm on it 

[Juliet]

Hi all,

it  has been awhile since I posted, but wanted to let people know how things have been going. I have some questions about Femoston 2/10 but I think I will start a different thread for that as I know I search on the HRT brand name when looking for info.

Overall, I am in a much better place since taking HRT. Low mood is definitely improved although I feel I am fragile and a poor night sleep, or too much to drink, or even a change in routine can set it off really easily. Anxiety is coming and going and I think i am detecting a pattern related to  Femoston (but will start new thread when taken another month).

I am also coming to terms with the fact that the menopause has changed so  much about me, what I like to do, who I like to spend time with and what my motivators in life are, what I eat, drink ... everything is different and that can be hard for the people around me as they too have to adjust. I am definitely less sociable and easy going than before and I have let some relationships drift as a result because I no longer feel a closeness, connection or desire to be with those people. Having said that, I am also much more appreciative of the friends I have in my life and times we do spend together. I also have a much better understanding of what to do and say around friends and family who are struggling with mental health and have learnt that sometimes all that person wants is to be heard and cuddled and reassured, whereas before I may have tried to offers suggestions to change/ improve the situation, which can add to the sense of stress/ anxiety.

I wouldn't say I am out of the woods, but I have to remember every bad day, poor night sleep or anxious feeling is not necessarily due to hormones and HRT therefore can't solve everything. I will have been on HRT for 3 months in mid June and I am definitely planning on continuing, but may also seek further advice from a specialist to make sure I am taking the optimal combination.

Looking back at the start of this thread I have come along way and want to thank everyone who responded when I was feeling desperate and without hope.

 

[Dancinggirl]

So pleased you are finding a good way forward. Hrt can't fix everything - lots of things need to change to really cope with this tome in our lives. Hopefully further improvements will come with time.
I'd stick with what you are doing for now - making more changes may be out of the frying pan and into that fire. Good luck. DG x