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[CLKD]

I think that being emotional is absolutely fine, I'm spitting bricks on your behalf!  Where was the Surgeon not checking that you had support?  Why didn't the D Nurse ask the 'correct' questions ......... at the very least you could have been referred to the breast nurse at your Hospital or even the Company who make 'falsies' who would probably have raised the questions for you.

I had a box of 'falsies' on my desk years ago, different sizes, textures and materials: the Rep encouraged me to pick them up to see what they were made of, he was a little older than I was then (mid-30s) and said even then (1970s) that not enough discussion was being made. 

Get journalling Girl!  Put it down on the paper, out of your head and away.  Could you ring the appropriate dept next week to see if there is support even now that you can access relative to the surgery?  There must be UK Charities too ......... let's get our heads together!

[racjen]

Its ok, I am finally getting support now - it's not so much the surgery itself (although i'm still really shocked that they think it's ok to conduct mastectomy as day surgery), it's the fact I had to deal with it all on my own. I had all the reconstruction info beforehand, yeah the silicon falsies, stick-on nipples etc. but I was very clear right from the start that I didn't want a reconstruction. And don't worry, I'm scribbling and drawing away like my life depended on it (which tbh it does). Thanks for your support, hope you're doing OK in the snow xxx

[CLKD]

So far so good - busy feeding wild birds.  Fire lit.  Feet up 

I can't imagine any surgeon suggesting day-surgery for mastectomy ......... I thought about this a lot in the night

[racjen]

Day surgery for mastectomy seems to be the norm (here anyway) unless you're having reconstruction, which is so much more complicated they keep you in for several days. Couldn't help feeling resentful that I was saving the NHS thousands of pounds by refusing that cosmetic surgery, and yet they wouldn't even look after me for a couple of days after an incredibly traumatic operation. Thankfully I healed incredibly well and now have a beautiful flat scar which I'm hopng to have tattooed at some future date.... x

[CLKD]

Would be careful of any tattoo on the breast area ;-)

I wouldn't have considered mastectomy as a day case  - no way, never.  Regardless. 

[racjen]

I wasn't offered any option, and I wasn't really in a state to argue, plus I had no-one to advocate for me.

Why wouldn't you consider a tattoo in the breast area? I have absolutely no breast tissue there, it's like any other area of the body now, plus it's numb so it wouldn;t even hurt!

[CLKD]

I wouldn't put paint into my body 

What design will you put there? 

[racjen]

I haven't researched it yet - was hoping to find something non-toxic but I agree, I'm not happy with the idea of putting chemicals into my body.

Vague ideas at the moment of a flowing design combining celtic spiral patterns, dragonflies, birds, bees - like a celtic blessing kind of thing. But then the friend who came with me to my very first appointment with my breast surgeon reminded me how good-looking he is,and we ended up killing ourselves laughing over the idea of having his portrait and 'I love you Mr. Green' on there instead. Just imagining his face next time I have to strip off cracks me up every time I think about it

[CLKD]

Stick with the dragonflies 

[CLKD]

Do you remember the 'tattoos' we got in chewing gum packets: a piece of paper laid on the back of the hand, gently wiped with water so that a dye transferred, or  did I dream that too 

[racjen]

No you didn't dream it, I remember them well!

[CLKD]

Wonder why they went out of fashion ? 

[racjen]

I guess they were a bit like sweet cigarettes- not the best thing to be encouraging children to aspire to...

[CLKD]

How U R today?

[racjen]

Moodwise I'm doing OK, have had an enforced break from EMDR therapy due to the snow and then therapist being off; starting again on Monday when I know there'll be more shit hitting the fan . The worst thing is the anxiety, which is as bad as ever and it's really getting me down now, feels like I'm never going to find a solution. Seriously thinking i'm going to have to try pregabalin even though I really don't want to, don't want to risk going way down again moodwise when I'm doing OK otherwise.