Oh have a
. In the main though, do you feel that over-all, you have coped admirably as stuff hit you full on?
14 is a vulnerable age. An in-between time. It was also common for kids not to be involved in what was seen as 'adult trauma', not to be talked about. It happened to me when a baby died, 15 months old, suddenly ........ Mum told me not to say anything to Dad or he would be upset and little girls don't like upsetting their Daddies
. Now I can see that it was another way of her controlling me and stopping Dad from building a relationship with me.
You are facing things that may well have 'grown' in your mind over the years as you had little or not outlet for your feelings. I don't think that this will remain with you long, do you get 'homework'? I found keeping a journal: writing down my instaneious thoughts: really helpful. When I read it about 5 years later, prior to shredding the paper work, I would have been locked up had anyone else seen it
but my head was clear. My heart not as heavy.
I didn't feel 'adult' until I was 33 if that makes sense .........
You will get through this. You are allowed to be angry - I was told that maybe my parents dealt with my eating problems the best way they could at the time: but my Mum refused to call a doctor, "He will laugh if I call him in the middle of the night!" - so I never told anyone after that: if a GP would laugh
. Even now my DH and I talk about my phobia in coded language.
Pity that your more recent illness wasn't supported! Usually there are specific nurses/therapists to help. I don't think that the medical profession realise how truamatic patients can feel. I always said that Medics should 'spend a week in that bed' B4 being passed as fit to Practice
