Hi
thank you all for taking the time to reply. I don't feel quite so alone, so that's a step forward.
I have not had a period for over a year, so I guess I am post menopausal? I am 55. I have not had any night sweats ( I have never been a person who sweats much, even when exercising, clammy is as much as I can manage!), I have had the occasional hot flush, and I do prefer to sleep with the window open now.
I do have a problem with bladder leakage though :-(, and was checking out the vSculpt on the shop page of this site.
Wendy, many years ago my sister had a driving phobia. She did get over it eventually, although she never like to do motorway driving. I hope you manage to get your driving mojo back, very frustrating about the cancelled lessons.
I am very reluctant to go the the GP. Last year,when I went about my palpitations, he was less than sympathetic. I tried to tell him about the extreme anxiety I was suffering, an d how I felt and his responses included: "HRT is for women who have hot flushes, not for your symptoms" and "Why are you so driven to exercise and work all the time, concentrate on looking after your father" . He seemed very irritated with me. The last statement really upset me, because I was spending as much time as I could with my Dad, and taking him to all of his appointments. But I wasn't there 24/7, I shared it with my other 3 sisters, and now I can't forgive myself.
I think a lot of the fears about my kids being left alone, is that I am the only stable parent they have. Their father does nothing, contributes nothing, and was a feckless bully for the whole of our marriage. If I were to die, they would be at his mercy. He is a manipulative alcoholic, and I need to be there for them both.
I have just remembered something else. I get sugar crashes sometimes. Usually when I walk the 2.5 miles home from work, I start to feel shaky, clammy ad a bit light headed. I recently had a health check, and my blood sugar level was 37, and it said the ideal was less than 47, so I don't think I am diabetic. I don't smoke and I rarely drink alcohol, once or twice a year I might have a couple of ciders.
I am feeling a little better today, ironically, both of my legs ache muscles and joints (!), and I think it is unlikely that DVT hits both legs at the same time (or is that just crazy thinking again). I went to yoga yesterday, and it was helpful, especially the lying down bit at the end! I was completely in the moment and able to keep my mind empty of anything outside of my instructors soothing voice. I definitely recommend it.
Thank you all so much, its such a relief to be here. I will spend some time this afternoon reading other peoples stories, and hopefully it will 'normalise' (!) some of my strange thought patterns.
xx