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[Mindfulmoomins]

Thank you Mia71mum xxx

[4meSons]

May I join you all for I'm having a pity party all by myself.
I can't believe my hormones could be causing me such hideous symptoms. I'm peri too and have been off work for 14 weeks now. I tried to go back but failed after 2 shifts and it's all down to anxiety. I'm scared but I don't know what of and then my mind runs away with itself
I'm on estrogel 3 pumps still early days and also take antidepressants which I've took for a few years but nothing seems to be helping x

[Stillsearching]

May I join you all for I'm having a pity party all by myself.
I can't believe my hormones could be causing me such hideous symptoms. I'm peri too and have been off work for 14 weeks now. I tried to go back but failed after 2 shifts and it's all down to anxiety. I'm scared but I don't know what of and then my mind runs away with itself
I'm on estrogel 3 pumps still early days and also take antidepressants which I've took for a few years but nothing seems to be helping x

Please don't say you failed. You didn't fail anything. You wanted to go back to work but it was a bit too soon, just a fact. You say your mind runs away with itself which shows you can separate what your mind does from what you know to be true. The mind is a strange thing isn't it? Get yourself a sheet of paper and start writing everything that comes into your head. Any old stuff as it comes to you. You will eventually come to what is really bothering you and then you can deal with it.

 

[Mindfulmoomins]

4mesons,

Welcome. I feel the same self pity and then hate that I feel like that.

Well done for trying to go back to work. I know just how hard that will have been and it takes courage to try. Like stillsearching said, you just weren't ready.

Some moments I tell myself ‘it's hormones, don't worry, I am still in there underneath all the difficult feelings' and other moments I struggle with despair or confusion about why I feel so horrible.

I am trying to lower my expectations of myself and am also trying not to ruminate on how I'm feeling. Not managed to do either of those today....

Wishing you good night's sleep. Xx

[Roseneath]

I try to take some comfort in the fact that we are all experiencing the very same things; these awful out of control, swinging emotions and tearful anxiety. I wish there was a local group where I could meet up with women going through the same thing. Somewhere I can moan , cry, laugh manically, dump it all out.  I find it hard to ' carry on' as 'normal' with family and friends. Even those closest to me have a tolerance as to how many times I can tell them I feel ' weird'. I end up feeling like I am living this inner anxious life and a fake ' brave face' life , then there is an inner core me narrating it all. If only I could change the channel!

[Dotty]

It’s very worrying that there are so many women suffering and struggling through this awful thing called menopause. So many women don’t have a life and have had to give up jobs.

I have been and still am very unwell with menopausal symptoms. I am totally exhausted and have been house bound for the last 4 months. The hrt is taking a long time to make a difference and I have been told I have got to give it 3 months ( I’m on week 8 ). It’s so hard when I feel so poorly and just want my life back xx

[Mindfulmoomins]

Yes I totally agree Dotty and Rose,

Is anyone is Hertfordshire?

Big hugs to you both, I identify with what you are both feeling and would do anything to pull us all out of it xx

[Roseneath]

Ladies if you want to feel more rubbish I got a pop up on yahoo news of how Jaclyn Smith looks at 72 (the Charlies Angel remember) - she looks about 32 ! I do wonder if we all lived in Spain or LA and could just sit out in the sun every day then some of this anglst would melt away. It is telling for me that I can go on holiday and feel terrible before and after but fine when I'm away. I think underlying stress and having a personality pre-disposed to anxiety makes the hormone swings of meno much harder to bear. I am dithering as to whether to try ADs for the anxiety (have sertraline) but had a bad experience on HRT . From this site it seems like medication works for 50% but makes things worse for the other 50%. Back to my NY resolutions!

[4meSons]

Well I've woken up or should I say was woke up by my heart.! It was pounding so hard and so fast I could feel it in my throat and ears if that makes sense. It has now scared the life out of me which is adding fuel to the fire. The last time this happened this bad was 2 years ago and I actually called an ambulance. I have a home bp/hr monitor but I'm too scared to use it for fear of the reading. Luckily I had an emergency anxiety med which I have taken half of so I'm waiting for that too kick in and calm me down
What a start to the new year

[Roseneath]

4mesons. You probably were having a bad dream just before you woke up. Also did you have any wine last night? I find since peri I can't tolerate wine; almost feels like the chemical in it are poison to me.  Other things are fine, but white wine particularly bad.  Try not to panic, it is just your worry kicking in.

[rebel2]

I can echo stillsearchin's post.  Just lately I have started to feel so much better and more able to cope after four years of terrible bouts of health anxiety and general depression.  I also did the couch to 5k and run every other day if possible, I watch what I eat and don't drink much. 

I know it is still there lurking in the background, but can now recognise that it will lift, and things will get better.

Good luck.

[4meSons]

Thanks ladies
I don't drink alcohol anymore so it wasn't that but I think I was having a bit of a bad dream but nothing terrifying. I think I was startled somehow and made it worse by thinking the worse which in turn made heart rate higher and blood pressure increase. I still feel unsettled but trying to distract myself x
I've just proven that I can rationalise it so I know I'm not mad