The nurse at my GPs recommended this board to me.
I'm 49, work full time, married 27 years, have 3 kids (youngest 21), graduated with an MA in February after going to uni as a mature student to do undergrad and said MA ... I feel as if I should be super fine, but instead I'm all over the place. The things I find most difficult to deal with are the crushing anxiety, massive sense of self loathing / worthlessness and rage. I alternate between really very capable and wanting to hide in a cave.
In an attempt to 'get better', I've recently made some lifestyle changes, have taken up swimming on a Friday mornings, seen the Dr about a bunch of little niggles (Is this mole ok? Why can't I get rid of this athletes foot? My bowel is compromised by years of IBS could you take a look?) and smoke and drink less. I start CBT on Tuesday.
I have a difficult relationship with my body, mainly because I had an undiagnosed problem for 10 years that made me very ill - womb stoma, bled out, wasn't believed. Had a Mirena coil fitted in 2014 which has helped. No periods for about 18 months. This means I really don't know where I am menopause wise. Some times I heat up a lot, other times I don't. Hair thinned a bit, cut it short, seems fine now. Dry in all the wrong places, have discovered the joys of almond oil.
I don't really know what I'm looking for. I want something to change, something to happen that's not utterly terrifying, or fuelled by some strange kind of grief anger. I don't want to be this person any more. I want myself back.
Anyway, hi, and this is an awfully big boat we all seem to be in.