Hi Sally71 - welcome to MM
I had POF - my peri stage started in my mid 30s. I am now 61 and stopped HRT about 16 months ago - I did have a break from HRT between the age of 49-53 but meno symptoms did not subside so had to go back on. I did find, as the years went on, that period pain and erratic bleeding made HRT difficult to manage and now off HRT I am still finding it difficult to cope with the ongoing meno symptoms e.g. poor sleep, urogenital atrophy, joint issues etc.
I tried most of the early HRT types (back in my 30s) and tried both sequi and conti HRTs. Later on I tried Elleste, Angelique and one or two others but none suited me. I never did well on higher doses!!!!
I have tried so many different HRTs and it is challenging to find something that suits. I went to a private meno clinic aged 40 and they completely reassessed me, then put me on Oestrogel (one pump per day) with progesterone for 10 days each month. The progesterone was Dydrogesterone (the same as in Femoston - which unfortunately you can't get on it's own these days). This gel and progesterone combo worked for me really well for many years - till all the scares happened in the press and then I stopped HRT and struggled on for 3 years. I lost 3 years of my life and eventually went back on HRT aged 53.
Your headaches are probably to do with the progesterone, particularly taking in every day, so finding something that is kinder and sticking with a sequential regime would be my advice. Putting up with the heavier bleeding with a sequential HRT is your sticking point. The Femoston conti would have been an issue for you because you were using progesterone everyday and I'm afraid you may find this is a problem with any progesterone.
My best combo in my mid 50s was a Mirena with Oestrogel. The Mirena can give an initial hit of progesterone for the few first few weeks (felt quite sedated but the bleeding gradually subsided to nothing quite quickly) - however I then had 4 years of very few problems and no bleeds at all!!! I was able to use as little or as much Oestrogel as I needed to control the meno symptoms.
If you don't want to have the Mirena fitted, then why not try the one pump of Oestrogel daily with 10-12 days of Provera(MPA) which may not bring too many problems with bleeding and cramps. I did try Utrogestan, which may also be worth trying, but because it is not very powerful, it gave me erratic bleeding and lots of cramping.
I'm afraid there are compromises with any HRT - it's about finding something that gives more benefits than side effects.
Keep us posted. DG x