Oh Hope22 - I know exactly what you mean - you are not alone. The meno is very tough to cope with for many us and can have a crushing effect on our feminine confidence; feeling desirable (sexy) is very important for libido, so feeling hot, sweaty, bloated, etc. will certainly kill any libido left when our hormones abandon us.
I worked as a Personal Presentations Consultant for many years - helping people with their wardrobe, voice, body language and general interpersonal skills. Low self esteem is rife, particularly amongst women over 45. How we look or dress shouldn't matter but feeling attractive and stylish can really help with self confidence. If we value ourselves by looking our best this is sending a strong message and will attract positive responses from others. It can take very little time or money to achieve this but finding the right type of clothing can be very challenging - especially as fashion trends change so rapidly. For me, not being able to find a pretty nightie, that makes me feel desirable, is a real sticking block.
I used to work with a clients wardrobe, helping them put together whole new outfits from their existing clothes. I would identify clothing items that worked really well, and crucially, highlight why this clothing worked, so the client knew what elements to look for when shopping for clothes in the future, whatever the fashions.
Here are one or two of my top tips:
1. Do a wardrobe edit; so get everything out of your wardrobe and drawers. Make piles of things your wear most of the time and look at everything else and if they aren't ‘special occasion outfits' or you haven't worn them for 2 years, then they should go to charity. Technically, you should be able to create a special occasion outfit from day to day clothing by adding accessories and if we do have something extra special to go to, we tend to want something new - so why hang onto something taking up space in the wardrobe??? If you spend a lot of money on a ‘special occasion outfit' could it then be adapted for other areas of your life?
2. Try on your favourite outfits and have a good long look in the mirror - are they simply comfortable OR are they flattering, comfortable and make you feel attractive and appropriately dressed? This might give you tips about what to look for when buying new clothes. Even casual clothes should be flattering!
3. Can each item of clothing in your wardrobe be worn, at least, 3 different ways? Apart from underwear of course!
4. Make a list of things you need - when you next go shopping be on the look out to fill those gaps in your wardrobe - also try to shop on your own so you can take time to assess what you like and not be influenced by another persons taste.
5. Be careful of SALE bargains: if nobody else bought these things, then there probably was a good reason!!
I could go on and on - I hope this is helpful. This has reminded me that it is time for me to do a wardrobe edit myself
DG x
