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[VegeLady]

Hello
This is my first post so bear with me  Does anyone else feel that they have totally lost their femininity? I also fee like my personality has changed too and I am struggling with all this. I am 48, not had a bleed for 5 months. My hot moments don't seem to be as bad as they were but I am still having them and I cry at the drop of a hat which is something that I never used to do. Is there light at the end of the tunnel
Thank you

[CLKD]

HORMONES    . 

There is light at the end of the tunnel but it's a bit like a piece of string ........ browse round.  Make notes.  Some ladies find keeping a mood/symptom/food diary useful. 

It's 'the change', another reason to keep a diary.  So that 1 can see that actually, it ain't necessarily as bad as you fear.

[VegeLady]

Thanks. I will have a good mooch around the site. At least I won't feel so alone with fellow "Sufferers" around. x

[ellie]

 

[CLKD]

There is usually someone around 

[VegeLady]

Thanks 

[Hurdity]

Hi Vegelady

 

Sorry to hear you feel like this.  I haven't experienced this emotion myself (feeling like I've lost femininity) as I started HRT when I was in your position (no period for 5 months) and have been on it ever since (now mid 60's).

Re light at the end of the tunnel. - not sure what you mean but if you are near menopause, at your age I would strongly consider HRT at least until the natural average age of menopause of 51/52 to help protect you bones and heart and of course to alleviate any menopausal symptoms (notably flushes and sweats but may of the other symptoms too).

I think also at this stage in you lives we need to take stock firstly to ensure we are in the best possible position health-wise as we enter this next sage of our lives ie re healthy diet, healthy weight, exercise, lack of stress, fresh air (and sunshine), no smoking and cutting back on alcohol.

Also secondly it takes a lot more effort to make yourself look good - whereas when younger we could look great without make-up, wearing anything and basically looking greatjust because we're young. Looking after yourself physically is the first stage in feeling good about yourself - but then having a good hair-cut (colour if necessary), buying clothes to flatter - and just not accepting that you are going to slide into frumpy old age - it is an attitude of mind but helps me. I'm now mid 60's and quite happy with how I am usually - even though I am far from young!!! It is hard work though - I go to lots of exercise classes, have to watch what I eat most of the time. Apart from that - having lots of interests that get you out and about, meeting people, music festivals, theatre etc? Whatever takes your fancy.

Do think about that HRT though - and if you want to go down this route we can offer plenty of suggestions about what to try.

In the meantime read up as much as you can about menopause on this fantastic website (top tabs pale green banner) as well as looking at what the forum can offer.

Hope this helps and do ask if we can help any further

Hurdity x

[VegeLady]

Hi Hurdity
Thanks so much for your lovely reply.To be honest  I'm rather scared of going on HRT because of the breast cancer risk. As someone who was unable to have children I have read that this also increases your breast cancer risk as well. My Mum did use HRT until her late 70's and though it was marvellous. I just feel grotty most of the time and my moods are awful too. I recently came off Citalopram which I took for anxiety which I have always had all my life. It didn't help me with my moods so I think I am actually better off it now. It doesn't help that I work with lots of beautiful young women  Life just seems dull and boring and I have totally lost my zest for it.

[Dancinggirl]

Hi VegeLady

What you are experiencing is quite common for many women when they hit meno. It's very tough.  It might be worth trying a very low dose of HRT just to see whether it helps. Femoston 1/10 is low dose with a kinder progesterone that suits many women really well. ADs or SRRIs aren't really ideal as they can make one feel detached and will also bring unwanted side effects. The oestrogen in HRT is the ‘feel good' factor that can often restore a women's Va VA Vroom, on many levels - although it doesn't suit everyone.
Quality of life is very important - it you don't try things you will never know - don't let fear of the ‘very' small risk of breast cancer get in the way of improving you life. It could be worth having a chat with your GP - hopefully they will be relatively clued up about treating menopause - it could be worth asking the receptionist which GP in the practise is ‘clued up'.  Go with questions written down and perhaps print outs from this site to help explain what you want - attitudes are changing regarding HRT - all those overblown scares were really unnecessary.
BTW - have you had your Vitamin D levels checked? Low energy and low mood are linked to deficiency in Vitamin D!!!
I also find Omega 3 oils essential so take Krill oil daily.
I also find exercise essential - I do lots of brisk walking in the fresh air - have you tried a dance classes?
DG x

[VegeLady]

Hi Dancing Girl.
Thanks so much. I might actually pop to the docs and have a chat. I work full time and sometimes its hard as well as looking after a home too but I do try to pop out every lunchtime to have a walk. As for dance classes I know I wouldn't go as I would have to go on my own. It sound like a good idea though. Once again thanks and I will have a good think about HRT
VL X

[suziq99]

Hi, VegeLady.
I not as knowledgeable as the rest of this lot but welcome to the 5 month club. 
Waiting for my 6 month check up with the Gyne (which has just become 8 months)     I am trying all sorts from the herbalist as anything the GP gives me makes me feel worse.

Suzi

[CLKD]

susiq99 - have you read the threads in the alternative room here?

VegeLady - I've never felt detached on my various ADs etc.; slightly hung over for no reason  and more recently putty brained, but never detached  ......... I did have some side effects which meant there were several ADs that I couldn't tolerate, whereas other people may well have pushed through until those side effects passed but for me, it was impossible.  Eventually my GP found one (1989) which worked for me.  PHEW!  Let us know how you get on.

Good point about the VitD levels - 8 weeks ago I began to feel really tired, unlike me - so 4 weeks ago my GP did a complete blood screening to include VitD and I am slightly low, so have been taking a brightly coloured capsule daily and already feel better.  My thyroid function, infection levels, iron count as OK (but she's muttering about my raised cholesterol  )  . 

Aren't you sorry for the Krill Dancinggirl  - I know a song about that 

[Biker Chick]

Hi Vegelady welcome to the Forum. I only found it a few weeks ago and have found it to be a life saver.It is good to know that we are not alone going through the menopause and all the 'wonderful' things it entails! I sympathise with how you feel. I have previously said that I no longer recognise myself. I cry at the slightest thing,have a very short fuse and the spark inside me has been switched off. I found that talking to others on the forum really helps, I hope you find it helps you too. I'm also trying the herbal route, the latest things I'm trying are Starflower capsules. When you are feeling low, come onto the forum as there is always someone on it who will lift you up. Hang in there x

[louby48]

Hi, I too am 48, work full time, 2 teenage boys - life is very busy.

I had a hysterectomy in June and by the end of August I was having night sweats and regular hot flushes, I was exhausted and my zest for life was waning. I've always been a regular gym goer, but I just couldn't face any exercise. I decided I needed help.

I've just finished my first month of HRT and have actually been back to the gym this morning. My energy levels are much better and I feel like my old self.

Go and talk to your GP, it can't hurt.

[Roseneath]

Hi Vegelady. Know that you are not alone. I just turned 48 and hv found the last 12 months tough; like being on a rollercoaster. I get the impression that those of us who are anxious people anyway find that anxiety exacerbated at this time. I have days I feel great then days I feel terrible. I have had sleep problems which anxiety makes worse, feelings that I can't cope, feelings that I'm loosing ' me'. Things that have helped include diet ; I have upped the fruit/veg/spices/wholegrains and limited the junk food/alcohol.  I also try to jog 3+ times a week and have a Mindfullness App. My brief HRT experience was not positive and upped my anxiety but I am having regular periods so it could be it just wasn't the right time / HRT for me. Everyone is different.   I think mentally I realise that for the last 30 years I have felt physically the same and being ' old'  is a distant country. When you are nearing 50 you realise that you aren't in the youth club any more and it is scarey what the next ten years might bring. Someone told me to try and be ' gentle with myself' and  live in the moment and this is wise advise although difficult to follow when your head is scrambled! Hugs to you.