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[rebel2]

Ran again today and felt really good afterwards.  Well, not  , more  but certainly less  .   Had a very busy day yesterday out and about with young children, when I was busy I felt fine except for back ache [and that is probably from picking up a heavy toddler!].  So hopefully I can cope with this without ADs.  Have phone interview with the NHS livingwell team today [have done it before but didn't like CBT] so am hoping for some useful talking therapy.

Onwards and upwards?  T'ai Chi is great, but hard to find in my area.  I just do very gentle yoga class once a week.

[CLKD]

One can buy videos about the various types of yoga etc., maybe approach the Chinese area in your town, i.e. Chinese Restaurant to see if there are any groups that you could join?  Or look in the library for books about basic Tai Chi?

[rebel2]

I'm fine with yoga classes at the moment - I've been running and doing yoga for about four years now and it's always helped.

I've just had my phone consultation with the NHS counselling service.   I must admit I felt totally patronised - would rather have had someone 'real' but it was a questionnaire approach all asked with a special soft, sympathetic voice.  Just doesn't work for me unfortunately, I start to get a bit cross.    But will give it a go, although I hated the CBT stuff - loads of homework that just made me dwell even more on my issues!

[CLKD]

I hated the Samaritans too, never got to speak to the same person twice as they don't want 'relationships' to form  which meant that I had to repeat my worries each time.  After 3 'phone calls over 3 weeks I gave up  . 

I had to remember to practice the deep breathing relaxation therapy - would sit down with a  on my lap and we would fall asleep 

[rebel2]

Oh dear - had a total meltdown yesterday.  No idea what brought it on, but had early adrenaline surges after good night's sleep and then WHAM, worst anxiety attack since all this started three years ago.  Was manic, then crying, then desperate.  Rowed with husband, poor thing, then went out for fast walk.  Lots of crying.  Was a bit scared to be honest as thoughts were racing dangerously. 

Finally calmed down in evening but woke this morning really early [especially given clocks went back] and then had terrible adrenaline surges for a couple of hours, culminating in gurgling/upset stomach.  Bugger.  Have tried a long run, which was really difficult and am now going to keep busy. 

Trouble is I have lost faith with professionals - I find that 'to a hammer, everything is a nail'.  If I go to meno specialist, I'll get HRT, if I go to GP I get AD's, if I go to therapist I get CBT [I'm sure if I went to a herbalist, I would get herbs!].  Would like something that works, perhaps something without an acronym?!

Is this menopause?? or am I just anxious/depressed??  Has a massive four months of total sh** and stress just wrecked my stomach??

Have had prolonged periods of calm but not recently - it all started when I came of HRT suddenly after only four months on it at age 54.

Any thoughts?  Am I now perhaps over menopause and should stop my oestrogen??   Is this life going forward??

[Yammy1]

Really feel for you rebel2, my anxiety seems to be constant. I used to get good days and the occasional bad day now it's the other way around. If I get a good day i ruin it by anxiously waiting for the dreaded anxiety and depression to kick in. I am not over weight (8st 4lb) but my doctor wants me to exercise because my diabetes is getting a bit out of hand. my problem is most of my anxiety is heart related and if i exercise my already very fast heart obviously gets faster and I panic more. I just can't seem to shake this dread and doom and gloom feeling.

[CLKD]

I believe that hormonal upheaval can cause blood sugar levels to become less than stable?  Your GP could perhaps refer you to a Specialist?

[rebel2]

Thanks Yammy, and I do hope you find an answer soon.  I must admit exercise has been a life saver for me - partly because it makes me at least feel I am keeping healthy.  Even walking is good -try the Active 10app, it's a really good way to make yourself do something.

After my Saturday meltdown I was a little better Sunday and yesterday I managed a 120 mile car drive and back to a business appointment.  I was fine during the meeting, but anxious the rest of the time. 

Finally bowed to pressure from family and gave the sertraline a go -have cut tablets in half so starting with 25mg a day.  It might be worse, but at least I will have tried.  I can't stay a raving lunatic for ever and need to get some peace of mind. 

Will report back!

[CLKD]

Well done on the journey !   

Also - eat regularly ?

[rebel2]

I always eat healthily and regularly.  Am trying to ignore any potential side effects from starting ADs - I am just going to press on through and tell myself that this is a new start.

[Snoooze]

Not been on for a while but was on hol last week and NO anxiety! I find I'm usually anxiety free on holiday. Maybe it's because I'm relaxed and don't have work or any stresses? I also do a lot of walking on holiday so maybe it's the exercise helping but Yammy, for many years now I've had the heart panic about exercise. if my heart starts beating fast it panics me which I know is irrational as of course it should beat faster when I'm exercising but tell my stupid brain that! However, last week I never even thoought about it. Oh how I wish I could be on a permanent holiday as it feel so good to be anxiety free.

[Yammy1]

Thank you all and snoooze as my dear hubby keeps telling me if I exercise my heart rate will get faster initially but in the long term the more I do the slower it will get and I will fe l better overall. Today is the start of a new month so I am going to give it a go and go walking this morning, just a little to start with and build up. I figure my fast heart hasn't killed me yet. I'll keep you posted how I get on. Once again thank you all

[Snoooze]

He's right of course Yammy.
Normally, I'm aware of my increasing heart rate when I do any form of exercise but luckily last week, I never noticed it at all. I'm still almost anxiety free but I have probably jinxed myself writing that! I notice that I suddenly think 'oh I haven't had any anxiety' and then the wicked mind starts over thinking and I almost make myself anxious but so far, so good. Not sure what's caused the lack of anxiety but I'm hoping it lasts a while!

[Snoooze]

I'm like that as well Sparkle. I can read an article about a health complaint and I convince myself I've got it!

[CLKD]

I'm never aware of my heart - my gut wrenches first