Hi, I'm new here and was starting to wonder about being peri menopausal, I'm 43 and having hot flushes at night, recent insomnia, heart flutters. Very short cycle that has no disappeared.
I decided to contact my birth mother so I could ask her when she started with symptoms.
We have only met a few times when I was in my early 20's. she sends the odd birthday card but we have no contact.
She called me last night after I texted her to say she started with symptoms at 38 and she had a terrible time.
She's 63 now and told me she has early onset dementia. She sounded like my Gran who is 94. I was quite shocked.
She also told me she had surgery for breast lumps and polyps. But no cancer thankfully.
I just don't know how to process all this information she told me.
I haven't seen my GP yet but have an appointment in 10 days time.
I'm really hoping she takes me seriously.
Hi there Pinkjan4288
![welcomemm :welcomemm:](https://www.menopausematters.co.uk/forum/Smileys/extended/welcomemm.gif)
Sorry to hear that you are feeling upset by your discussions with your birth mother. However I know this is difficult but try not to focus on what has happened to her, as a guide to what you might expect - but concentrate if you can on you and what you can do to help yourself.
Did you say that your cycle has now disappeared - when did you last have a period? Shortening cycles are very characteristic of the last stage in fertility before the ovaries start to pack up and ovulation is erratic. This is the time when many women start to experiencing worsening pms as hormones start to fluctuate - but it can be a tricky time to treat because it is not strictly peri-menopause in the sense that the ovaries are failing. Once you start to have a very variable cycle then according to the medical definition you start peri-menopause although in practice it often happens quite loosely!
At this stage some gynaes and doctors prescribe the combined contraceptive pill - as this will regulate your cycle to monthly and even out your hormones so preventing the worst of the mood swings. There are a couple of newer ones which contain the same oestrogen as in HRT (so are gentler) - and will help prevent the night sweats. Also they have fewer tablet free days. The one called QLAIRA has only two tablet free days, without oestrogen.
If it looks like you might go through an early menopause (before age 45 at last period) then doctors may do a blood tests to look at FSH levels ( 3rd - 5th day of cycle). Anyone who goes through menopause before the average age of natural menopause of 51/52 is advised to take HRT at least until then to protect heart and bones in the main.
Do read up as much as you can on the main website using the top tabs (pale green banner) - there is a wealth of really useful information - and do come back to us with any more questions
![Smiley :)](https://www.menopausematters.co.uk/forum/Smileys/extended/smiley.gif)
Hurdity x