This sounds terrible - yet another ignorant doctor! I realise she has your best interests at heart but she sounds like my GP who said I shouldn't be on HRT at my age (over 60) as it can only lead to cancer - and as I was consulting her about pelvic pain she said " Let's hope it hasn't already" !!!!! Needless to say I never went to her again!
I agree with Tinkerbell - I would find out which doctor at the practice knows about HRT and menopause and then go to that one before making the hospital appointment. If you have had no bleeding nor anything (in your medical history or symptoms) that suggests you need a specialist referral then I would resist this. Although normally I would say why not just go - as it's always better to take up the offer of a check-up when offered - in your position and with your phobia - if it is really unnecessary then you don't need to go through this.
If you would like the information we can point you to the NICE Guidelines and all the recommendations which say that long term vaginal oestrogen is fine without progestogenic opposition. I am shocked that a GP does not know this when it must be prescribed daily to thousands of women! In any case local oestrogen doesn't count as hRT - however the warnings on the prescribing information are sadly the same as for full systemic HRT - which is part of the problem for doctors who know very little about it and if they read it as gospel....
As a start the information on this website (written by Dr Heather Currie, leading gynaecologist and former Chair of British Menopause Society) says this:
Low dose vaginal estrogen preparations can be used long term without causing any known systemic effect, and without needing any progestogenic protection of the lining of the womb. https://www.menopausematters.co.uk/dryness.phpHurdity x