Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[CLKD]

Tnx  .......

[nissa11]

I feel so sorry for you as I remember so well feeling like this. I must admit Elleste was ok but once I reached 54 I was put on a continuous combined HRT and after a bit of research asked the GP if I could go on Kliovance as it had very low Progesterone and I've been fine on this.

I was teaching when the menopause hit me and I had to give it up. I wasn't the first teacher to do this as others have told me the same. It was almost impossible to think straight and I felt miserable and tired. I had always been super fit and healthy so it was a complete shock to me to watch my body completely deteriorate in front of me.

I wish I had known it was hormones at the time (I was 50) but the GP just put me straight on anti-depressants, which made me fat and didn't sort out any of the symptoms I was experiencing. I went over two years before any GP offered me help! Once on it thought, HRT has been brilliant and I am surprised that I have had a recent return to night sweats/joint pain/exhaustion recently, although I am on a very low dose (Kliovance).

If you can give up work, I would do it, although I know it may not be feasible. I think too many women of our age just feel they have to continue in stressful jobs when they feel floored by the menopause. It's so embarrassing when you can't cope in front of your colleagues and nobody really understands unless they have been through it. I have had quite severe depression and anxiety for 8 years now and it has ruined my life. I wish I had known how 'ill' I would feel at this stage of my life as I could have thought through whether getting into such a stressful career (however enjoyable it was for 10 years) was wise at 40 years of age!!!

Doctors, especially male doctors, don't appear to understand the gravity of the menopause for some women and seem to think that it is just one of life's 'common problems, ' but as I say, sadly, it has ruined my life and I was in no way prepared for it. Like you, I'm lucky to have a great husband but I'm afraid my daughter's have been less sympathetic. What a shame they have to go through it too one day!

Best of luck - Try to be pro active and check out the different HRT available before going to the GP as it is always best to be informed so that the GP is less likely to fob you off.

[CLKD]

It's not necessarily 'fobbing' off - it is often what a patient may present in surgery with: I feel depressed = ?.  Unless the lady associates a change in mood or feeling depressed with her menstrual cycle, why should a GP (unless like mine, he has a wife of my age ;-) )   That's why finding meds that suit can be so tiring. 

Many GPs don't understand menopause.  But maybe the Practice Nurses at the Surgery will do and may have more time to investigate why ladies have certain symptoms, as long as the lady takes those symptoms to the appt.; I always take a list 'cos I've not had a good memory for many a year  .  My Consultant always asks for the list B4 discussion 

[peri]

Good post Nissa11. That's what I love about this forum, we can share our experiences and learn so much this way.  Hopefully this will give Wendy65 help x

[MIS71MUM]

Hi
I feel exactly the same as Wendy sometimes! It's so hard to hold down a job, manage a home, I have 2 young children too, and SUFFER the menopause!

I did end up going off sick from my workplace of 26 years for 4 months. I also worried what everyone would say, but in truth my work colleagues knew I was ill. I took 3 different AD's as I was too anxious to stick with one! Each one made we worse before better....then after about 10 days, I'd stop taking them..which put me in a very isolated place.
A low dose of diazepam got me through it. Eventually I stuck with the 3rd one - probably because my Husband stood over me and made me take it every night.

I honestly can't say what's right for you, but one piece of advice that I can give, if you decide to increase your oestrogen or change it to another form, then don't do it at the same time as starting an AD. Please give yourself time between the two.

Also do you have a HR department at work? Could you discuss the issues you have with them? Mine have been amazing- they paid for CBT which made me realise I was normal and not going insane!

Whatever you decide, try not to catastrophise and try and be kind to yourself. Much love xx

[walkingthedog]

Lovely. Post mis71 mum
We all need to be kinder to ourselves and re evaluate our lives, responsibilities etc.
take care of yourselves everyone
Xc

[Wendy65]

Hi all,

I'm so grateful for your comments. Nissa11 and MIS71MUM, thank you.

As I am writing this I am crying. Never felt so low. Off work today and G.P apt booked.

I applied for a new job and got it in the hope that it would be a little less stressful so I am now in the position where I can't make a decision as I am switching between each job and feel frozen. Done the pros and cons and still not able to decide. I hate messing  people about but I have come to a decision that I need some time to try and feel better before I can decide. Ironic!

The above paragraph doesn't even make sense.

NIssa11 - your description is me to a T. It really does help knowing that you are not alone. I know that I have to do what's right for me but I need help with medication in one form or another (either different or a higher dose of HRT or AD's) as I can't go on feeling like this. I wishthat I had a physical problem rather then this mental state as it's so debilitating.

Wendy 

[Jacquiemalley]

Hi Wendy
I was in the same position last year. Depression and anxiety ruled my life. Decided to change jobs, offered a new one but realised I was not in the right mental state to make that move. I stayed with what I new, took ads Citalapram and then started hrt. It's all really helped, I'm hoping to come off ad's and use hrt alone, soon. It's a long road but I now think much clearer, and enjoy life (most of the time) 😀
Good luck xx

[Wendy65]

Thank you Mrs Jam, yes I am in that position now.

Wendyxx

[babyjane]

Welcome Mrs Jam.  Is that your lovely westie?  We have a westie too, he is elderly now and not quite well but he is doing ok.  We have a pets thread 

I love your post, it outlines the role both ADs and HRT can play to stabilise these horrible symptoms and it has clearly worked for you. 

There are many schools of thought here about the role of ADs used in menopause so thank you for your input and 

[CLKD]

Welcome Mrsjam - thank you for your input.  I would ask though, why stop the anti-depressant medication?

[dazned]

My personal experience with hrt was that it helped with flushes but sadly did nothing for my psychological problems. I chose to use AD instead. Each of are different and will need/use different ways of coping. Whatever you find works for you,works for you .☺
Hope you find something soon.

[CLKD]

well put Baldric - make notes, decide what is appropriate for you at this moment and after 3/4 months, review.  Some find that keeping a mood/symptom/food diary is useful.  On my better days I can forget how awful symptoms make me feel and vice versa 

Let us know how you get on?

[babyjane]

It's very difficult for someone who hasn't suffered with mental health issues to understand the sheer impact that it can have on every aspect of your life. Neither should anyone tell you what you should do.
It is your choice alone to make with help from your family and GP.

I second this Baldric and you are so right.  Some of my family and friends just don't 'get it' and therefore do not 'get' me.  they mean well but they do more harm than good.

[CLKD]

Yep.  As I said in my thread about Depression - my Mum said "Oh your Poor Husband" and "You don't want to feel depressed" as well as "don't lead your Husband a Dance as your Father did Me!" the latter of course, I now know the reasons why