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[CLKD]

Not necessarily BJ but I do know if I miss my evening dose my bowels are easier within 24 hours ;-)

Peroxi - you are amongst friends here 

[Peroxideblader]

 

[babyjane]

PB I had a difficult (controlling) mother and I never felt I measured up but, unlike yours, we did become friends after my father passed away.

Anyway it has taken me a sort of breakdown, medication and psychotherapy to make sense of it all but one thing I do now know, it is not my/your fault and no reflection on me/you, honestly.  The problem is your mother's if she is unable to love her children and can only hurt them.

We have an unofficial adopted daughter who we took into our family at the age of 16 due to her dysfunctional and abusive childhood.  She is still a very close part of our extended family.  Some parents cannot parent due to problems of their own but it is no reflection on you.  Is the brother you mention no longer in your life?

[Roseneath]

peroxibladder and Yummy1 - Wow your stories strike a real chord with me. I was a 'normal, happyish person' in my 20s and 30s but from my mid 40s have changed into someone my 'old' self wouldn't recognise. I had never heard of peri-menopause and feel quite angry that so many of us feel this way and struggle with our daily lives without any real idea of what is causing it or what could help. I have a mother who is far from motherly too in fact I am sure she has never loved anyone and never even liked me. My children are big enough for her to start mentally hurting them now so we have had to cut her off (she lives 50m up the road) My father has sided with her so I have no family now. Just when I need a mother figure most I have someone who causes nothing but mental hurt. It is very difficult and comes at a time that is hard enough for us with our hormones flying around causing all sorts. I want a Peri-Island with a hotel for us all so we can have a break and a cry and a laugh.

[Peroxideblader]

Babyjane and Roseneath so sorry you've got a mother too like mine. She had a great upbringing she's just a selfish horrid person and a snob whose always leached off the men in her life so has no idea what it is to struggle financially or medically.  What's most sad is she adores my older brother and he can do no wrong but that's because he's an unfeeling leach too!! If she was rubbish at being a mother I could get it but she's just unloving with me. Since I cut contact 2 years ago she's stood in a queue with me and acted like I wasn't there it upset me for days but life goes on and it's much better without her nasty hurtful comments all the time . I have my gorgeous grown sons and partner for the love and support and you ladies for the female support that's enough for me. I apologise in advance as I'm opening another thread soon on this new hrt I will start as I'm clueless and think it'll be just as bad as femoston so sorry I'll be a moaner some more and love to you all

[babyjane]

My mother was not a horrid person but she was not maternal.  She had a difficult life with my father and I think controlling me was her way of controlling a bad situation that was out of her control.  As I was an only child I buckled under the pressure and did not develop as a child should do.  As I said we became friends after my father died although the damage was done and it is only since she died that I have had help to understand and come to terms with the lack of nurturing when I was growing up. I bear her no malice but she cannot control my thoughts, actions and feelings with disapproval any more. She was a harsh critic and I am also my own worst critic.

[Butterfly22]

Hey P how you feeling now? Think I spoke to soon been feeling hideous today xxx

[Peroxideblader]

Hi lil sorry to hear you're not too good what's up?
I'm a lot brighter no where near as low so it was femoston but I'm starting a new regime next month or I think I am but after hearing from you and others I don't know if I should have persevered with it til progesterone part kicked in incase I settled because it seems alot of people are affected low mood wise in the first month..heaven knows

[Butterfly22]

It's ok to feel low but when you feel like you did it's not worth waiting to see, the doctor said that to me, i just feel very low felt awful yesterday and this morning but my partner pointed out it happened same time last month and passed after a couple of days so I'll just try and remember that.
The thing with the femeston is it was not passing it was getting worse.
Xxx

[Peroxideblader]

That's good if you know it's just for a few days but yeh I felt worse everyday but I wondered if when the progesterone was added I'd have felt better or gave it time but like you've said it was very very dodgy I was too low to feel safe it's easy to say now I'm feeling brighter..such a nightnightmare

[Butterfly22]

I think you done the right thing xxx

[Peroxideblader]

 I hope so but sadly I'm back to square one sleep wise and that was my reason for going on it.

[Yammy1]

My Mother passed away 7 years ago, and like so many of you we didn't have the best relationship to say the least. I could never really pinpoint why she didn't seem to have any problem with my two sisters and brothers, just me. I talk to her a lot now since she passed (I know this sounds nuts) but I'm trying to understand and make my peace, I have two beautiful daughters and am determined we will always have a loving open relationship. I have been feeling really low and anxious the last few days and I can't seem to shift it, I just feel every time I think  I've learned to cope with one meno symptom another rears its ugly head😪. This. Churning feeling in the pit of my stomach is unbearable. When will it ever end.

[Lady Daviot]

Ladies, I am 48 years old, I have not gone on HRT because anything hormonal has never agreed with me and I have tried the lot! - however I too struggle to sleep properly due to flushes and now according to my new dentist I have practically worn out my back teeth with grinding. I always waken up exhausted even if I have gone to bed at around 9.30pm the night before. In the past GP's have mentioned Iron, Thyroid ( where they put me on such a high initial dosage that my BP went through the roof ). Twice I have been at A&E due to chest,jaw and arm pain and now I am afraid I have health anxiety - mainly about my heart stopping and because I often wake gasping for breath when I am trying to drop off to sleep. Is this anxiety driven probably!. Once when I was monitored in hospital, the heart monitor woke me because it was bleeping and stating sleep apnea - only for the nurse to say the kit was likely faulty!. I should have challenged this but I already felt foolish being there as after an ECG my heart was fine. I totally sympathise with long NHS waiting times as I have been told 40 weeks to see the consultant about my teeth grinding, which could be linked to sleep apnea. Sorry for the ramble, I just feel us ladies are left out on a limb by the NHS and the many complex symptoms of menopause are never fully understood and linked.

[Butterfly22]

I've got a gum shield what was given for grinding teethx