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[Butterfly22]

I'm taking ustrogen and premairn which so far seems ok, I started the menopause at 25 keep getting settled on HRT then its discontinued xx

[Peroxideblader]

What dose and days in your cycle do you take your utrogestan and you still having periods so get a bleed with this ?

[CLKD]

It doesn't take long to confuse a menopausal mind  - what was the question again 

Group 

[Peroxideblader]

Sorry just read your prior post you take it days 1-14 does that mean you get a bleed 2 weeks after your previous bleed and do you take it at night?

[Peroxideblader]

Clkd on a good day I remember where I parked my car at the supermarkets and even my name everyday amazes me with my fuzzy meno brain 😅😅😅

[CLKD]

Our town is really small and I always use the same car-park - several years ago when deeply depressed I stood in the Square and could'd remember driving into town - a friend asked if I was OK and I burst into tears.  He led me to where I had parked the car and made sure that I was stable enough to drive!  Bless, wonder what happened to him  ....... that was long B4 peri 

Fuzzy covers how I feel a lot of the time!

[Peroxideblader]

Oh what a nice man..the poor lady in spar this morning only said I looked tired and I burst into tears what an idiot I felt this femoston and peri and me being me has alot to answer for. I'm loony some days

[CLKD]

Nope - you are menopausal!  "Please don't be kind to me unless you have a box of tissues" 

[lesley998]

Baby Jane posted
>>SweetPea thank you for this.  This comment of yours is what my very kind GP was trying to explain to me recently when I got myself into a pickle thinking I had been on my AD long enough and tried coming off it, ending up in her consulting room in a mess.  Your comment reinforces that it is a defficiency and not a weakness<<


You are welcome Baby Jane.  For a long time I really struggled with the fact that I had to take an AD. I knew it was helping me, but I didn't like taking a pill everyday to make me feel normal.  For some reason, I saw Prozac as my enemy instead of my friend. I think it is the perfectionist in me...couldn't stand that I wasn't 'good'  enough to just live life normally like everyone else around me.  Needed to prove I could manage without it.  So I stopped and started for years, which was stupid as you get these awful brain zaps and dizzy spells and when the Madness comes back it seems to be even worse than before.  Then when my poor sister was diagnosed bipolar and sadly took her own life in 2014, I finally realised that mental illness is a disease.  A disease that can kill.  I'm ill, and I need to take medication. I may get better but I need to take my medication.  It's physiological...organic, it's not our imagination or something we can control.  We didn't 'think ourselves' into clinical depression, and we can't 'think ourselves' out of it.  We wouldn't say to someone with cancer, you're weak, or pull yourself together, or snap out of it.  I get so angry when people say depression is a weakness.  Like peroxide says...it takes STRENGTH  to get up in the morning, run a home and a family, do a job and live a life like we do...all the while feeling like we do inside. My sister was the strongest person I knew, she lasted about twelve years on the edge. Finally, sadly, it got her.  It ain't getting us.



 

[Peroxideblader]

I'm so sorry to hear that but yes it reinforces the fact when you are mentally ill it is just as serious if not more than a physical illness but because it's internal in our little brains and outwardly we put in our happy I'm coping mask it means most people just have the opinion you're weak you're being melodramatic and just having a bad day when inside your head you are screaming and barely able to cope some days. It took me 3 times of coming off my AD and breaking down again to realise I need it to keep me on an even keel the same as diabetics take insulin.  Sadly I still don't tell people I'm on it as as much as I'm not embarrassed I know from experience how I'm judged and treated if the mental illness is mentioned and it's just not worth the comments.
You look after yourself and keep taking a pill for your ILLNESS not WEAKNESS.

[Annie0710]

Having suffered quite bad social anxiety I still felt weak for actually suffering it but realised how strong I was on the other hand.  Not many people would confront their worst fears on an hourly/daily basis and with putting on a brave face.  Turning up for work each day fearing having to talk to colleagues was torture but I never called in sick, I just counted down the hours each day til I could run for the solitude of home

You're all brave and I really hope you get through this xxxx

[babyjane]

Thank you Sweet Pea and everyone else for your comments  . 

In the back of my mind I still rail against not functioning without chemical help but I realise it is a lie.  I take thyroxine or I would eventually die from myxoedema so I take escitalopram because my brain produces just enough, or not quite enough, serotonin.  I take propranolol to keep me on an even keel and all manner of things to try and make my bowels stop hurting and function.  and yet I feel wretched for having to and this is after 12 months of therapy  .

I am exhausted and overwhelmed after a very busy and stressful (but very enjoyable) week.  However it has taken its toll and therefore I feel low but I know it will pass in time.

Thank you all for sharing and supporting. None of us are an island but it is so hard to admit to needing a bit of help at times  .

[CLKD]

live life normally like everyone else around me: that's a myth then?!?  Firstly what is 'normal'?

2ndly - have you stood in a market or store and watched others?  None are watching me, most are checking shopping lists, kids, dogs, baskets ..... I am not that important that a stranger would judge me !  Family members however, have been a different kettle of fish  .

If you are hungry, do you not eat?  If you have a headache, what do you do?  If you cut a finger .......... until we get it out of our heads that others are judging us for anxiety or depression then we won't be able to move forwards.  Why feel the need to tell others?  I don't.  Even DH doesn't know what meds I take or if I miss a night to ease my slow transit!

What people don't realise is that depressive illness can be fatal.  For as many reasons as there are stars in the sky.  Wading through treacle ..... putting on a fixed grin (I have a drawer full of those); saying "OK" when asked how I am 'cos people really can't handle the reality.

My Mum said "You don't want to be depressed" - no Mum, but I am.  "Don't run your husband a dance as your Father did me" - I haven't told her any of my medical history since those words, (1991) - if she wasn't my Mum I would have walked away  . 

Group    oh, the psychologist who suggested that I 'remembered' how I felt on a good day - yeah, right!  that would work then?

[babyjane]

if I miss a night to ease my slow transit!

so the AD we are on can cause slow transit?  Goodness I wish you had said earlier.  But I have been on it nearly 2 years and was fine until June 

[Peroxideblader]

Couldn't have said it better clkd....but sadly as much as the world is trying to change opinions and judgment on mental illness and the stigma attached it never will....my mother hasn't spoken to me or my brother for over two years thank god though because all I got was a torrent of abuse and nasty commmets about me being a failure I'm fat I'm useless and ugly bla bla bla but I just never had the strength to cut her off..now at least I don't have her poison in my ear to add to the others. That's why this menopause journey has been so awful as I have no friends or family to talk it over with and if I did they'd think it was all in my head.
Thank goodness for the info on here or I'd think I'd have been sectioned ...and so many lovely kind people it brings my faith back in human beings.