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[CLKD]

I wonder how many women have ended their Lives because they didn't get appropriate treatment at a time when hormones may be participating in AD and AA onset; at a time when women may not be aware that hormones can cause such awful feelings; at a time when it may be impossible to decide exactly what is causing those symptoms.

[zelda]

Gosh a lot I would say. I know I would not be the person I am today without HRT and AD's they keep me sane. I have no doubt I would have been locked up in some institution if it were some 100 years ago.

I remember seeing a programme about Bill (can't remember his surname, he was one of the Goodies) anyway his Mum had typical Meno symptoms in the 50's and was committed, poor woman.

My own Mum had a breakdown when menopause started during the 1960's and where we lived HRT was not available, I am certain it would have helped her enormously.

[CLKD]

Bill Oddy - he's had depressive episodes too .........

Tnx for your input.  My Gran probably had post natal depression as she was committed shortly after her children were born ......... lots of them, the 1st 2 were OK but after ........ she suffered from panic attacks ever after  but was a very good cook 

[weathergirl]

It's a tough question to answer.   I'm guessing more may have suffered needless from untreated depression than untreated menopause, per se.  In other words, yes, menopause can cause such symptoms, but it is also very common to suffer depression and/or anxiety at other times in life (even around meno), for other reasons, quite apart and unrelated from hormones.   

In my life, I have never known any women who suffered as badly from menopause as the experiences I have read online in the past few years.    Honestly, it was never on my radar to even fear this change for that reason.  It was only when I googled things online and read various posts that I began to fear the experience - and often very much wished I had not read what I'd read.

Grandmothers, aunts, family friends, etc....many have gone through menopause and I have heard nothing about it as having been a horrible experience.  I work with women well past menopause.
 Again, they seem fine and are happy and active.  Either they are all fortunate, all trudged through it somehow, or simply did not speak about their experiences??  I am not sure.     I think there is way more awareness and talk now which lets women know that symptoms are real and need to be taken seriously by either GP or specialists. 

[pebbles]

This is a interesting question as i feel suicidal everyday, most days I plan how to do it other days I just feel impulsive feelings to for example hang myself.  On of the things that has always prevented me is that my children will lose out on their share of my house ( as I am still married to DH). today I thought about going to a solicitor to leave everything to them, that would make me feel better. I am hyper sensitive to anything sad for example animal or child cruelty. I cant stand what is in my head and I just want it to go away.
I just feel there is no point anymore, I have no hope.
I feel that I hate my DH, I just cannot stand him anymore but I lack the strength to do something about it. I feel that I am invisible he ignores and excludes me so much.  My periods stopped for six months now they have come back. I feel unstable. I just don't know If my depression is due to my hormones or if my feelings are legitimate. I just don't want to be with him, I want to be on my own. I just despise him.
I cant go to my dr, I phone them almost every month as i am constantly ill with trivial illnesses for example chest infection, sinusitis, dry eye etc etc every month i have something.
I have tried ad's in the past, citalopram, paroxetine, nothing seemed to lift it so I gave up. I tried st johns wort, fish oils, 5htp and rhodiaola stuff.
I do feel happier at work, I just don't want to come home. 
I think that it is a lot harder to get help for MH problems, my gp has this new system where you have to tell the receptionist what is wrong with you and then she gets the gp to phone you back. it is hard having to first tell a receptionist then waiting on a random dr calling back. I hope that other women do get the help they need.

[CLKD]

I will make a suggestion pebbles: contact your local MIND group ASAP!  I did so via e-mail and had some very supportive messages back, where and when there sessions were held.  I didn't need to go but being aware that there is somewhere I can drop by for a cuppa really helped.  You do not need to continue feeling so ill, you could also see a Pharmacist in your Chemist, most have private areas for discussion these days.

Your GP can refer you for counselling or perhaps your area has a traveling mental health Nurse that could call to give you support.  Hormones can cause havoc so feeling as you do, anti-depressant medication is essential.  Certainly talking to a professional is important, to get your feelings into the open: out of your brain and away.  Talking helped me a lot.

There are resources out there but it can take a while to access them.  The Samaritans also should know of support groups etc. in your area.
 

[Annie0710]

Pebbles your post is really sad to read and I want to just hug you tight

Please don't suffer, get yourself sorted before you sort your personal life out.  You may just realise that you don't despise hubby, or you may decide you do, but you have to be in a good mind place before you make decisions

Our surgery is like yours but don't worry about telling the receptionist your reason to speak to a gp, they must hear this sort of thing way more than you think they do

They can put you in touch with specialists, and I think you're a candidate for a speedy appt.  don't suffer in silence please, there is help out there and medication that can help you get out of this black hole xxxxxx

[SMar55]

Hi Pebbles
I have just joined the forum but identify so much with what you say.  I too feel life is so hard and difficult to wade through and have developed an overwhelming sensitivity to animal cruelty.   I lie awake at night going over something I have heard or seen regarding an animal and can't sleep.  I keep telling myself to pull myself together but I can't.  I can't tell my husband and like you I feel no connection to him, just dislike. If someone told me that I would go to be tonight and not wake the next morning, I would be relieved.   I did not associate all this sadness and despair with 3 months into loss of periods.  I am embarrassed to tell anyone about how I feel.  I have read Sertraline might help.  Thinking of giving them a try.  Reading the posts on here has made me feel I am not the only one who is suffering which in a strange way is comforting.

[Annie0710]

Ladies at the beginning of peri I felt like you.  I couldn't cope with the never ending onset of new symptoms.  It really got me down.  I didn't dislike my fiancé but I did question if I loved him.  As I was getting nearer to the end of peri things became clearer and now although I was getting low mood recently I have proper emotions running through me. I adore my fiancé but I also relate to the animal cruelty.  I can't watch anything remotely cruel to do with animals.  Not even survival programmes of an animal will be caught by another.  Ive realised I'm almost vegetarian now too with only ocasionally eating meat

Things will improve and if they don't, seek help xxxx

[janjan1962]

Hello ladies I joined this forum some time ago and dip in and out. Reading today some of the posts it is all so very sad that we have to go through this awful time in our lives just because of hormone changes! Pebbles as the others have said you do need to get some extra help with these feelings you are having. I too have been suffering levels of anxiety that appear to keep creeping up on me a little stronger each time I think I've got a happy thought/feeling, I then get slapped with a larger bout of anxiety. I see a therapist who is working with me on all of this. Outside help I feel is a must when we get to this level of despair. Suffering alone is a definite NO.
I can offer cyber hugs but that's about all I have in my bag at the moment xxx

[SMar55]

Thank you for your comforting words.  What do you think about Sertraline?  Some people say it is great, others say a definite "No No"?  I just don't feel like I can go on feeling so low day after day.  I can't speak to my husband and at all about how I feel.  He has no sympathy or care at all.  He is a narcissist - need I say more!

[Hurdity]

This is a interesting question as i feel suicidal everyday, most days I plan how to do it other days I just feel impulsive feelings to for example hang myself.  On of the things that has always prevented me is that my children will lose out on their share of my house ( as I am still married to DH). today I thought about going to a solicitor to leave everything to them, that would make me feel better. I am hyper sensitive to anything sad for example animal or child cruelty. I cant stand what is in my head and I just want it to go away.
I just feel there is no point anymore, I have no hope.
I feel that I hate my DH, I just cannot stand him anymore but I lack the strength to do something about it. I feel that I am invisible he ignores and excludes me so much.  My periods stopped for six months now they have come back. I feel unstable. I just don't know If my depression is due to my hormones or if my feelings are legitimate. I just don't want to be with him, I want to be on my own. I just despise him.
I cant go to my dr, I phone them almost every month as i am constantly ill with trivial illnesses for example chest infection, sinusitis, dry eye etc etc every month i have something.
I have tried ad's in the past, citalopram, paroxetine, nothing seemed to lift it so I gave up. I tried st johns wort, fish oils, 5htp and rhodiaola stuff.
I do feel happier at work, I just don't want to come home. 
I think that it is a lot harder to get help for MH problems, my gp has this new system where you have to tell the receptionist what is wrong with you and then she gets the gp to phone you back. it is hard having to first tell a receptionist then waiting on a random dr calling back. I hope that other women do get the help they need.

Pebbles I am so sorry to read your desperate message here - PLEASE get help as soon as possible if you feel like this - through your GP, and/or suggestions already made by CLKD. If you feelings are this extreme then as Annie0710 said you MUST get yourself sorted out first. You owe it to yourself and your children especially so that you can be there for them.

You have tried anti-depressants and alternative remedies but still feel as you do. Have you felt like this before in your life or is it new for you ie since perhaps just before periods went erratic.? Maybe you suffered from PMS or PND? If so this would be an indication of a hormonal cause so HRT (oestrogen particularly) would be indicated especially if there is no particular reason ( stress, adverse life event etc) for you to suddenly feel like this.  Also if it got worse after your periods stopped this could be due to low oestrogen - in your case an extreme reaction. You haven't said how old you are - if you are under the natural average age of menopause of 51/52 then HRT is advised anyway for physical health reasons (heart and bones).

Have a look at Studd's work on reproductive depression and see if any of this resonates:
http://www.studd.co.uk/reproductivedepression.php That is just one page but there are lots of related tabs on left and right of his website.

Whatever the outcome please please get help and also if necessary start your own thread on here and just post whenever you are feeling this way and there will always be someone on hand to respond. Another woman felt as you do and had a long running thread - I think she was called Mandz and the thread was entitled "Please Please Help Me" - and you will be able to read her thoughts and how she improved.  I've found it here: https://www.menopausematters.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,31031.435.html It's long! I hope it helps to read this.

Phone up and ask for an emergency appointment tomorrow - and say it is an urgent mental health issue - that's all the receptionist needs to know surely?

In the meantime have a  and come on here whenever you need to.

Hurdity x

[Hurdity]

Hi Pebbles
I have just joined the forum but identify so much with what you say.  I too feel life is so hard and difficult to wade through and have developed an overwhelming sensitivity to animal cruelty.   I lie awake at night going over something I have heard or seen regarding an animal and can't sleep.  I keep telling myself to pull myself together but I can't.  I can't tell my husband and like you I feel no connection to him, just dislike. If someone told me that I would go to be tonight and not wake the next morning, I would be relieved.   I did not associate all this sadness and despair with 3 months into loss of periods.  I am embarrassed to tell anyone about how I feel.  I have read Sertraline might help.  Thinking of giving them a try.  Reading the posts on here has made me feel I am not the only one who is suffering which in a strange way is comforting.

Hi SMar55

 

Why don't you introduce yourself on a new thread in the new members area, and then more members will be able to welcome you? If you are peri-menopausal and experiencing symptoms that you describe then ADs like sertraline are not recommended in the first instance. Low mood and tearfulness are also symptoms of menopause - I wept buckets when I was peri-menopausal - the slightest thing would set me off - but I rarely cry now.  I started HRT and never looked back. If you haven't had a period for 3 months then your oestrogen will be falling and HRT is advised as the first line of treatment. If you are under 50 then some women are prescribed the CCP to stabilise hormones  - there are a couple which have mild oestrogen in them the same as HRT.

There is an article on peri-menopause here which you might find interesting: https://www.menopausematters.co.uk/article-perils-of-the-perimenopause.php

Hope this helps

Hurdity x

[Annie0710]

I'd just like to add that I've had experience because of a family member recently with the MH services and when you say you feel like giving up/suicidal thoughts you are usually fast tracked in their system.  My relative got medication, CBT and a psychologist appt all within a couple of weeks

You WILL be taken seriously and taken care of xxxxx