Sorry to hear you're having such a bad time, it's miserable menopause isn't it!
When you tried HRT, what did you try? And for how long?
I still have a uterus so. Have to have profestigen. But I use oestrogel 2 pumps a day, it's very easy to adapt the rise, I suffered horrendous anxiety before starting HRT, I started off using just one pump a day for the first six weeks then upped it to 1.5, I now use two pumps and can honestly say I feel so much more like my old self, no hot flushes, a general feeling of calmness, and brain fog, although not completely gone, so much better.
It might be a case of finding the right HRT at the right dose, don't hit it too strong too soon xx