Interesting thread this. I know that for many years women have been labeled as becoming aggressive, hysterical and over emotional through menopause but I think if you look at any group, male or female, struggling with difficult health conditions, you find people who are often tired, in pain, frightened, angry, bad tempered and sometimes rude and aggressive. I think the way people manage difficult health situations and stress can vary according to their personality and temperament. Some people are aggressive and nasty irrespective of whether they are ill or not, equally some people are kind and gentle irrespective of what they are experiencing.
In other words some people are aggressive, sarcastic, patronizing and bullying, it's just inherent in their nature.
As far as forums are concerned, I only have experience of this one; I've never looked at any others. I have concluded from watching the activity on this site that the vast majority of women (and men if they are participating incognito) are kind and caring souls needing support of some kind and wanting to offer comfort reassurance and support to others too. I'm frequently really touched by the examples of kindness here. However, as I discussed on the thread 'a need for a bit more sensitivity', which was before your time on the forum Mrs. B, there are unfortunately some who like to swagger around, advising but also frequently dictating, throwing out sarcastic rude and unkind comments and trying to dominate.
There will always be those in a collective situation who like to wrestle control, to throw their weight around, We all recognise them in real life, you get examples every where; that particular member of the church council, WI, reading groups, school PTA groups, charity shops and committees, the choir. We've all met their types but a forum offers them the freedom of being incognito, removes the natural constraints a real life situation dictates, they can roll up their sleeves and strut around dropping sarcastic digs when it takes their fancy, acting as if they are a member of admin. Often they are narcissists with an egotistical admiration of their own attributes and like nothing better to puff themselves up displaying their talents and knowledge. A forum is probably like a drug to these types, a quick fix for them. Often these people are lacking in something, that's why they have the need to constantly crave attention and praise.
Peri hasn't made me more aggressive. I've always been fiery; I grew up with four brothers, that makes you pretty tough, confident and assertive. They taught me to box, play rugby, so physically I've always been pretty fearless but I'm a tough old bird generally. I'm never intimidated and will not and never have taken any nonsense from anyone. You can be strong and powerful without being rude and aggressive though. I've always despised bullies and would take them out at school if I witnessed it. I often think those who stand behind the bully and allow that sort of behaviour to continue are as bad as the bully themselves.
I was discussing different personality types on forums recently with one of my brothers who's an expert on personality profiling. Fascinating stuff. Apparently there's always the narcissist who struts their stuff. Hubby is on a couple of specialist car forums and he says it's the same there too, though the guys are much less tolerant of the narcissistic know it all types They are much less polite in their handling of them!
