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[warwick01]

Hi Tempest,

I understand exactly how you feel. Just a thought, would it be better to start on 100mg for 2/4 weeks then move up??? (when your ready that is) I could just about tolerate 100mg and that was only for 7 days. It was when I stopped PMT as well as agitation hit me.

Take Care Hun Xxx

[Tempest]

Thank you, Dazned and Warwick.

To be honest, I'm worried sick today about all this. I was hoping for an increase in my gel dosage and adding in 100mg Utrogestan every other day. I have no idea where to turn for help or advice and feel like just coming off everything again now despite the truly debilitating physical symptoms.

I can't afford for this to go wrong and end up in a psychiatric hospital over this, and any sign of depressed mood and that's what going to happen - my psychiatrist just won't take the risk. I have never categorically said this, but I regret this surgery with all of my heart and don't think I can do this any more. xxxxx

[Otes73]

Oh Tempest you poor thing!

I understand completely about regretting the surgery as I feel completely the same way. So many complications and further surgeries, if only we knew then what we know now!

Don't feel too down, your psychiatrist may agree it's worth a try and monitor you when you start? There's lots of women using this in America after hysterectomies without oestrogen, it may work for you. I would take advice from your next appointment and see how you feel.

Hugs to you xxx

[Tempest]

Thank you, Otes. You're so very kind!

It's so hard to live with the consequences of this surgery, isn't it? Everything in your body just deteriorates too fast, not like natural ageing in the natural menopause. Only we can truly understand what a terrible shock this is to body and mind. My heart goes out to you, too!

I'll try to hang on to seek the advice of my psychiatrist too.

Much love to you. xxxxx

[Lizab]

Tempest, I know it's frowned upon on this forum but have you thought to try a progesterone cream? In my run with hrt and anxiety and depression, I thought the progesterone gave me trouble, but then discovered the problem was perhaps the estrogen. I went off everything and felt so much better, but still have surges of uncomfortable jittery feelings. I have recently purchased a progesterone cream to try as needed. I like that I can adjust the dose. The standard dose delivers what should be the equivalent of taking a Utro, but I have been using only about a third to half of that only on my surging days and it seems to be working. As I'm off the estrogen I'm not concerned about it being functional for my uterus, and when I feel like it's building up to make me feel down and tired, I stop the cream. It may be little enough that it's only a placebo for me, but after everything that passed, I'm terrified of getting so depressed again so I like that I feel in control of the amount.

[MIS71MUM]

Tempest please stop.
I can tell from your messages that you are tying yourself in knots and I'm feeling your pain as I've done this myself so many times.  I honestly feel like your mind needs a rest, so you can stop, draw breath and make a plan to get yourself well again.  Have you thought of taking a small amount of diazepam to get you over this?

I'm going to try and be objective for you;

1) 100 mg of utrogestan probably wont affect your mood and may even sedate you
2) Yes you can do this! I know for sure that you have more spirit and determination to get yourself well

Anxiety is a horrible illness, I know from personal experience and stopping thinking is easier said than done, but please try and give yourself a break from it all, just temporarily.

I'm wishing you all the best - please take care as I do worry xxxx

[Otes73]

Are you still using the 1 pump? How's that going?

Yes my mind & body have gone haywire, it feels like 1 step forward then 10 back!

What did Prof Lumsden think about the the struggles you've previously had? She's the top of her field so you're under good hands with her.

Xx

[Tempest]

Marchone, THANK YOU. I just showed your post to Hubby (hope you don't mind) and he said this is EXACTLY what I must do. Just. Stop. I'm going to take a deep breath and just wait until I see my psychiatrist (who is a godsend) and discuss it all with him on Monday, as well as making an appointment with the one decent GP at my surgery next Wednesday too.

This HRT thing floors me. I'm already getting at least a 50% reduction in my physical symptoms (flushes, night sweats, muscle aches) from the one pump of Estrogel BUT it's already affecting my mood too (weepy, all over the place). Unbelievable! I am THAT sensitive. My anxiety wasn't so bad off everything. I really can't win so there has to be a trade off somewhere and I'll discuss all options with my two trusted doctors next week. xxxxx

LIzab, thank you so much for your suggestion. We're a bit stumped for progesterone creams in the UK apart from the Wellsprings stuff (I have no idea if that stuff is any good).  I've read back some of your posts and despite me being in surgical menopause and you in natural, we share so many symptoms in common it's unreal! xxxxx

Otes, yup - she knows! I think this is why she thought Utro. might be worth a go, but after reading all the negative experiences on here, i've got myself in a right tizz about it all. The experience I had with Tibolone is also very fresh in my memory and I have no idea what went wrong there, but the black mood thing has happened to Joesmum and another lady who we haven't heard from in ages (gosh, I so hope she's ok)!

I spoke to Prof. Lumsden about the Tibolone and she says it's either a success or a disaster - there is no middle ground with that one! xxxxx

[Rhiner]

Oh Tempest, I feel for you. Think Marchone's comments are spot on, just hang fire till Monday and try to chill a little if you can. I know its easier said than done. At least the flushes etc are a bit better with one pump of estrogel. this whole thing must be an absolute nightmare.

We are all here for you. Rxxx

[Tempest]

Thank you so very much for your kindness, Rhiner! Yes - Marchone speaks wise words, you're all so kind and patient with me here (and have come to know when I'm tying myself up in knots, too)!

It's so very much appreciated. xxxxx

[Annie0710]

Hi sweetie

You'll never really know what went wrong with the Tibolone, am I right in thinking we metabolise it all differently somewhat and it's distributed differently and in different ratios ? I.e. You may have used more of the oestrogen effects as opposed to the others? I don't know, like the other caring ladies, I'm throwing out my thoughts .

Can't remember if it was 2015, think it was, I saw an NHS gynae and I'd bought some prog cream to go with my patch, I asked him if I could try it and he said yes.  I honestly can't remember if it helped, I'm thinking it might've done because I tried utro after that.  I know I've been scatty in the past buying off the net but sometimes desperate times calls for desperate measures and all that jazz

If you can hold off to see psych, then maybe you should.  You need peace of mind and confidence in whatever route/type you try. 

Xxx

[Otes73]

You have to remember they'll be so many positive outcomes that just aren't posted or aren't on the forum! If everything is going well most ladies are just getting on with life so don't let the negative outcomes put you off.

I didn't get on with Tibolone, previously had a Mirena (pre hysterectomy)which was a disaster but have been fine with Utro.

Enjoy your weekend and I'm sure your psychiatrist will guide you in the right direction.

Xx

[Tempest]

Thank you so much, Annie and Otes! I really appreciate your kind words and support.

I often wondered if the creams were worth a go, Annie! One of the ladies over at the Ovacome forum (ovarian cancer survivors) has done very well on it, so it MUST work as I should think there's little chance that its merely a placebo effect in her case. xxxxx

[Annie0710]

I used Progest .  Smelt like those wheat heat bags you microwave (yuk!) xx

[Tempest]

Bleeeuch! I've been e-mailing Diane back and forth today. Hopefully something may be in the pipeline..... xxxxx