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[edelweiss]

Does anyone else feel an extreme discomfort, like they want to climb out of their own skin? The opposite of relaxation and contentment. xxx

[Annie0710]

I did.  And I wanted to go to sleep and wake up when it was all over

I didn't even know who I'd become. X

[edelweiss]

Was that in 2012 too Annie?
Did you just feel empty - no good emotions?
That's it - I want to go to sleep and wake up when it's over. If someone could put me in a coma until it's over I'd sign up right now xxx

[MIS71MUM]

Yes I have - I call it "rattling" - it's like I can't sit still, can't rest, can't be calm. I expect it's how it feels when you are de-toxing from some awful drink or drug addiction.

My rattles usually happen in the morning.

[edelweiss]

I'm sorry you have it too. I wish you didn't. So it's not just me then. I have it all day, every day. xxx

[Tempest]

You've summed it up perfectly,, Edelweiss! It's the most alarming and awful feeling - like you just want to get away from yourself! It's not anxiety and its not panic and I've had this really strongly the last 2 - 3 weeks now - but it's been there at some level since 6 months after my surgery.

Nothing makes it go away for me......no HRT, relaxation, occasional Diazepam, NOTHING.

I know a symptom of  menopause is a 'feeling of impending doom' but surely we shouldn't get this all day, every day (and night)? Some days I'm better at pushing through it but that's all it is - pushing through.

I need to know that this is going to pass someday or I really don't think I'm going to be able to take it.......xxxxx

[edelweiss]

Oh no, Tempest you too? It's almost impossible to describe isn't it? But it's the worst feeling.
If I go out I want to come home.
But when I am home, I can't relax there either.
Just like you, I don't know how to cope with it.
And nothing but nothing helps xxx

[Tempest]

Exactly!!!! The poster of this thread comes close to describing it, but mine is there all the time like you:

https://www.menopausematters.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,14483.0.html

xxxxxx

[Annie0710]

Yes started 2012 (sorry - must sound like a broken record)

It was as if something just switched off in me overnight.  Like I'd been thrown off the merry-go-round and didn't have it in me to climb back on

I'm sure I slept most of my days away back then.  I gave up my full time bookkeeping job because I couldn't cope with the pace of everything.  I suddenly couldn't retain info and became so introverted it was ridiculous

X

[Tempest]

It is just like a switch, Annie! It 'switched' for me very suddenly in January 2016 - I can even remember the day it started.

Prior to that, 6 months after my surgery I could feel things were going downhill but it was slow. This 'switch' was a defining moment. I had been out for lunch with Hubby at a lovely country pub and afterwards I wanted to go for a walk in the little wood beside it. I stood there on the path and this is going to sound crazy - but I had spotted this little frog and I was watching it when suddenly this feeling that nothing was ever going to be ok ever again suddenly came over me and it's never left since then. As I said, the last 2 - 3 weeks it's got worse. I didn't think it COULD get worse, but it has!

I read Diane's story on her website and she seemed to have a 'defining moment' just like this and she describes it as the point at which her body had run out of the last of the stores of her own hormones. I think this could be it. In your case Annie I think it was after your ovaries atrophied completely following your surgery and perhaps in Edelweiss's case it's a case of the ovaries suddenly failing, which can happen in natural menopause at any time according to an article Diane linked to in The Telegraph.

Perhaps for some of us the menopause isn't a 'transition' (obviously surgical menopause isn't)  and we go into some dreadful kind of shock that HRT never fully compensates for or indeed can't compensate for at all. This is my best guess, as medical science can't seem to explain this and we're having a particular experience that isn't felt by all women. xxxxxx

[edelweiss]

Annie, no sorry, it's me that keeps asking you - was that 2012? I'm obsessed 
At least you could sleep your way through it. I'd love to sleep through it.

Tempest I'm sorry you feel this way all the time.
I know how you feel now, but that's not a good thing.
I remember the date and time it started for me too.
And everything felt 'wrong' from that moment.
I can remember where I was and what I was looking at too.
And then I felt my happy feelings shutting down - my brain 'breaking', almost.

I don't feel that my ovaries failed.
I believe it was the way my body uses HRT that went wrong xxx
 

[dangermouse]

I'm still early peri but I had a similar defining moment end of 2015 and I thought I was having a stroke and went to hospital. I think it's just 'that' cycle when things have shifted massively and I'm expecting more years before meno until (hopefully) it will all calm down.

I also used to wonder if you could book yourself in somewhere to be put into a long sleep until it passes! Consciousness was just too awful with the nausea and dizziness.

[edelweiss]

Thank you Dangermouse, yes I know exactly what you mean and I would book in for a long sleep DEFINITELY if they'd wake me up when they can fix me/when it's all over. Does your HRT help you now? xxx

[edelweiss]

I just went to cuddle my lovely man to sleep. But as I was lying there I could feel my heart palps, and every nerve ending pulsing and fizzing, I just wanted to run away from the feeling. I keep praying it will end but that's not working either xxx

[Annie0710]

I remember my moment too.  Sitting at work and felt like I was going to pass out.  The reconciliations I did on a monthly basis suddenly looked alien.  My head felt weird, heart thumping, brain foggy, I went to my car for a breather and walking across the car park my legs wouldn't work properly, thighs felt like wading through treacle, crashing fatigue knocked me.  Edelweiss I could nap anywhere and anytime but couldn't sleep at the correct times, as I've said before it was like my memory had been tampered with, I'd go to call my mum then realise she'd passed years before