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[MicheleMaBelle]

Hi GypsyRoseLee- I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time.
Could it perhaps be the Setraline? The reason I ask is that my GP put me on it rather than HRT to start with ( that's another story ) I didn't get on with it at all. I was shaking all the time, started hallucinating ( not great when driving the car) , kept imagining things, constantly anxious and unsettled and i felt something evil was trying to get into my brain. It was really scary and I wouldn't try them again. I was offered another type of ADs that can cause issues with heart,or the older sedative types but am currently doing ok without any although still struggling with HRT regime.

Maybe its something to consider- not everyone gets on with SSRIs but I'm no medical expert- I. Just know how they made me feel. X

[GypsyRoseLee]

Hi Mihelle

I have been on sertraline since last summer, and it's since taking it that I have improved (up until now). So, I don't think it can be the sertraline? I just don't know what is happening, or what is causing this relapse? If I KNEW it was just too much/too little oestrogen, or too much/too little progesterone caused by briefly using oestrodose, then I could weather the storm until I stabilised again on Estrogel. But, I don't know and I'm really starting to panic 

[MicheleMaBelle]

Oh im sorry. You are having a horrible time. It does sound hormonal. would it be worth seeing an endocrine specialist. I've just found a link on here to an article in the daily mail by Sarah vine and her horrible menopause journey
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4080470/The-workout-help-beat-menopause-SARAH-VINE-reveals-hormone-boosting-exercise-regime-helped-ease-symptoms

X

[Elizabethrose]

Thank you edelweiss. I have just looked back on my posts in December, and I was suddenly suffering just the same back then. A really horrible 2 weeks, with just a couple of random 'normal' days in the mix. My period was also very, very late in December, as in more than 2 weeks late (never been that late before). My period is late this month, too (should have arrived several days ago - so don't know if this is the cause?

God, I hope it lifts soon, I really do. I'm barely holding it together 

Hi again GypsyRoseLee, I'm really sorry you're still struggling, I was hoping the arrival of the Oestrogel had resolved your problem. I haven't been on the forum since last week so haven't read through any of your other posts but I just saw this post and wanted to comment.

Remember we talked about your own cycle kicking in and adding to the oestrogen levels from the HRT? I wonder whether you didn't ovulate and the FSH is attempting to stimulate another follicle (follicles). When this happened to me in peri my oestrogen levels were through the roof and the symptoms of that were dramatic. Even on 4 doses of Oestrogel my cycle wasn't suppressed. Some of us just don't follow the norm!

It seems to be my mantra but do start charting, a very clear picture will develop quickly. I always feel that if we can understand what is happening to us and why, we are much better able to ride the storm. As far as ADs are concerned, the Sertraline has served you well so as they say, if it ain't broken don't try to fix it!

Look back at the postings I made on your Oestrodose/Oestrogel thread and the thread link from Machair. You may be able to recognise similar symptoms from anovulatory cycles.

I wish you better xx

[GypsyRoseLee]

Thank you Elizabeth. I definitely feel that 'something' is really trying to surge. My head feels like it's about to implode. So it could be FSH? I haven't had a period as yet, it has now been 32 days since my last 'natural' period, so it's definitely late (usually still very regular). I'm discounting the withdrawl bleed I had while taking Utrogestan from March 1st - 7th. So it's possible I didn't ovulate this time, and my cycle is going berserk trying to make something happen? And this has possibly been compounded by the oestrodose being weaker, and just not supressing my cycle quite as much as Estrogel was doing?

Can I ask was your anxiety much worse when your oestrogen went through the roof?

Thank you again for your posts, you are helping keep me sane at the moment xxx

[GypsyRoseLee]

Thank you Michele, that's a really good article 

[Elizabethrose]

GypsyRoseLee, if I didn't ovulate, the oestrogen dropped initially causing the FSH to surge again in an attempt to stimulate another viable follicle. I was told that at this stage in our lives, the FSH reaches such levels that a number of follicles can be stimulated causing very high oestrogen levels.

These highs could last for months with me, sometimes continuing through anovulatory bleeds. It was hellish because it made me feel as if my body was going to explode! Whilst my physical symptoms and migraine were horrendous during these highs I am really very lucky in that hormones have never affected me mentally. However, many women experience high anxiety with high oestrogen levels. I think Machair and Sparkle noticed that it affected their moods (sorry my brain is addled today, I'm sure that's right!). These highs would cause symptoms identical to PMT which is why so many women are confused about why they are experiencing PMT when their oestrogen levels should be high.

Hang on in there don't despair. I bet it's a blip and all will calm again soon. I know how desperate you must feel but do chart, it is so very reassuring. My husband says I should donate my notes to medical science!!

Have some of these sweetie 

[GypsyRoseLee]

Thank you Elizabeth. I really feel I'm just sinking lower and lower today. But thank you for the flowers x

[Elizabethrose]

I'm really sorry for you. Are you able to try to find a way to lift your spirits? I make my daughter dance! Loud funky music and wild dancing! It lifts the spirit and makes the heart glad. I swear you can't dance wildly and feel badly! Otherwise when hormonal surges and falls affect her, she pulls out the yoga mat and has a few days of 'treating' herself, little things that make her happy. Have you tried Mindfulness, see if you can find some Youtube relaxation/therapy links.

When you feel like this it pays to be proactive, wrest control, fight back, though of course it's easy to feel too overwhelmed to manage to do this!

I wish you well, don't despair! xx

[GypsyRoseLee]

Thank you x

I do feel totally overwhelmed by it, this time. I think this is the worst I have ever felt, and that is saying something considering the bleak days I have had in the past,

[Elizabethrose]

Then get off to your GP, see if you can get an emergency appointment! Maybe a short term increase in the Sertraline can sort you out until the hormones settle. Some times our bodies need help on all fronts, lots of women need HRT and ADs. Nothing is forever, once it's calmed you can reduce your meds again.

Either way do not struggle in silence, demand some help!! Get on the phone now!! xxxx

[Lizab]

Funny that you're still questioning if it's hormonal, me too! When I'm good, I don't question it, but when the symptoms pop up agan it blindsides me every time. I'll cry to my husband that I don't know what's wrong with me. He's very good now at stopping what he's doing, looking me in the eye and telling me it's my hormones, then going back to what he's doing. Now as I'm feeling well this moment, looking back it's almost comical. I must be a special kind of stupid that I still have to be reminded.

Also, in my case, it all began with missing periods, so that's a major clue for me. During my couple years of extended bleeding, I would have a bit of morning anxiety, but was able to push it aside and move on, just kind of the jitters while I was dressing in the mornings. When the periods stopped it became crippling.

As for your own cycle pushing through, I can't say for sure my own hormones weren't doing anything at all, but I wasn't having bleeds at all during hrt without the progesterone to bring them on. And aside from the withdrawal bleed on quitting, I haven't had one since. Before hrt I had gone 6 months between my last two, so I really don't think my own hormones were changing drastically, surely not enough to cause the depression I developed on hrt. But who knows?

[MIS71MUM]

Lizab
Sorry to laugh, but your first paragraph describes me quite often.

At the moment, I'm having a flat spell where I feel miserable, edgy, empty and like I'm dragging myself through everyday. I also live in my head rather than my life. The hardest part is that there is nothing I can do about it. Then my mind starts, what if it's depression? What if it's a food allergy causing my mood? What if I feel like this forever?

Hope you are feeling better GRL.

[Lizab]

Don't be sorry for laughing, Marchone71! We need to laugh at everything we can. I laugh about it too when I'm not bogged down in the midst of it!

[Hurdity]

Hi again GypsyRoseLee

Sorry to hear you are still struggling - not sure if I answered on this thread or one of your other ones. Either way - once you start taking HRT as you are doing, and take progesterone - it is really difficult to say what your natural periods would be doing - so when you say your period is late and you are discounting the withdrawal bleed - it is by no means certain what's causing what at this point. For example as well as the normal progesterone withdrawal bleeding (arising as a consequence of ovulation and non-fertilisation, as well as stopping the progesterone part of HRT), you can get other types of bleeding that aren't true periods as such because they are "abnormal" even though they happen with many women. So you can get oestrogen withdrawal bleeding - which some women get when oestrogen drops dramatically - such as after ovulation, or oestrogen breakthrough bleeding - which happens irregularly when the endometrium builds up from oestrogen and in the absence of ovulation - it is just shed but not in an organised way if you see what I mean! Sorry if that sounds a bit garbled!

I would have thought it is unlikely to be too little oestrogen causing your symptoms - unless you are absorbing virtually nothing - but the fluctuations - causing the variability in your moods. It is puzzling though that you would be noticing changes in oestrogen as you are on such a high dose (so this should minimise any crashes) and maybe if your own (ovulation) cycle is still happening - it is the progesterone - intolerance to it - or the normal progesterone crash that happens just before a period - that is partly to blame?

The things is from what you have said now and in the past - I am wondering why you haven't gone for cycle suppression because it does seem like it is the fluctuations that cause the worst of your symptoms.  The 4 pumps don't seem to suppress your cycle but have you thought of one of the pills we're always talking about on here (not many are on it - perhaps it works so well!) - ie QLAIRA? This should even out your moods - or even the Zoladex you were considering?

Just a few thoughts and do hope you feel better soon.

Hurdity x