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[greenECLECtus28]

As some of you lovely people know I've been having a bit of a rough time lately culminating in me being off work  for the last two weeks with what appears to be severe pulled muscles in my knee/ankle I have an underlying condition Spina Bifida which doesn't help  very slowly I've been starting to put weight on my leg again and was hoping to get back to work next week however a couple of days ago I was turning over in bed and felt a twinge in my left side around my breast area as if I'd pulled something and typically it's been getting more painful the last day or so I also get this cough sometimes which is either asthma linked or I think sometimes is anxiety related. So of course it can't be a simple pulled muscle is more painful when I cough or move my mind is starting to work overtime thinking it has to be something more sinister I've had 2 sets of blood tests in the last week one set from my GP which showed low Vit D which I've been given a pill for everything else was fine and another set at the hospital to rule out any potential DVT or any infection as my leg was so painful. The thing is because I am so anxious I'm just being so horrible to to my dad and son who are only trying to help its as if I'm pushing them away and then I'm having to calm myself down as I'm feeling as if I can't breathe properly even though I can have a normal conversation so it's probably anxiety. I just feel so fed up and pathetic it seemed as if everything was getting better then I get this and the thought of going back to work is kind of scary in case something else crops up or I get a panic attack but I'm the only working person in the house so I need my job. I'm just so up and down. My doc didn't offer any kind of HRT or anything she did give me an AD Fluoxitine but I'm too scared to take it. Sorry to be so pathetic 😢 I used to be such a capable person I have downloaded a mindful app called Headspace so am hoping this will help. Sorry to go on.

[littleminnie]

Hi, I just wanted to say that I've that the Fluoxitine is really good.
I've never tried it but if you feel that bad I would give it a try. If it doesn't help you can always stop it.

[greenECLECtus28]

Hi

thanks for getting back well this morning woke up at 5 ish and had a full on panic attack which I haven't had since about 14 years ago when I went through a year of not being able to cope and health anxiety when my mum passed away and I was living on my own with my son who was about 5 at the time that was an awful time in my life and I'm terrified I'm heading back down that road and to cap it all did something silly and drank a glass of wine I had taken up to bed with me last night but not drank to see if that would calm me down which it sort of did by making me a bit drowsy so lay down and tried to get some sleep and was kind of drifting then woke up and my heart was racing with a pulse of almost 100 so that was me off again I know it's my own fault. Anyway I suppose I should try the Fluoxitine to see if it helps it's just the thought of taking AD's at 54 I really should be able to cope.

Today is Mother's Day here in the U.K. but feel like curling up in a ball and staying in my room all day.

[Joesmum]

I totally get the health anxiety. Feel safe in the knowledge that you are not alone. You're having such a tough time at the moment.
I'm just wondering though.
A glass of wine before bed could lower your blood sugar and waking with a racing heart and panic is classic low blood sugar. Your adrenaline kicks in to raise your blood sugar levels, you see.
( had it all my life due to  of hypothyroidism)
If you tried drinking a glass of milk before bed ( could you cope with that?) it would support your blood sugar levels while you sleep. You could even have your glass of wine too...then your milk!!
I'm only surmising that this is what caused your panic attack after so many years but in case it happens again under the same circumstances it's worth a go.
PLUS
AD's are good. Don't suffer needlessly and don't be scared. You can always 1/4 your tables and start off really slowly. That's what I do if I take AD's.  I don't care. It's the way I do it and it works for me. The Doctor doesn't think I'm mad. You have to do what your comfortable with and I'm sending you massive 'mothers day' hugs. X

[greenECLECtus28]

Thank you Joesmum

Actually I hate milk don't drink the stuff  however I bought some strawberry flavoured soya drinks as it was recommended that soya can sometimes help in the menopause so I'll give those a go. I guess the AD thing is you read so many negative stuff about them as well with regards to side effects etc but when I went to see my GP about the mobility issues I was having and got pretty upset about everything it's what she recommended as opposed to any kind of HRT things have been gradually creeping up on me I think over the last couple of years on and off and then after I turned 54 in Feb that seemed to trigger stuf as well there plus have been having some health issues one after the other posted elsewhere and I'm just constantly thinking what's next my elderly father lives with me and my teenage son so I am the only wage coming in so there is a worry there too as being off in case I lost my job as I was unemployed for 2 years before I got this job my previous job I had been there for 27 years so maybe the AD would give me a bit of clarity until I learn to reorganise my life and get more positive about the future. Came out to sit in the garden as the weather is nice but one minute I'm fine then the next off I go! Thanks for the hugs 🤗

[CLKD]

All medications have side effects, some may be negative - to work they need to be taken as prescribed.  Once I found an AD which didn't give side effects I began to get a Life again.  Also, at menopause one probably doesn't need to take them for more than 3-4 years in order to re-gain control ........... I now accept that I have to take an AD plus anxiety coping medications for Life.  Job Done! [mostly  ]

[greenECLECtus28]

Thank you  CLKD

Yes that is so true... because  I am so nervous about this I am thinking that I could start with taking the 20mg every other day to start with and then build it up so if there are any side effects they will be easier to manage? 

[MicheleMaBelle]

hello green- sounds that you've a lot on your plate including the health anxiety ( which seems to be pretty normal for a lot of us)
Have you considered trying a course of CBT? You can get it on the NHS so maybe speak to your doc about it.
Also, give the AD's a try- they may work a treat for you but maybe it's time to also consider HRT? This also might help alleviate some of your horrible symptoms? It's not a magic bullet ( neither are ADs ) so trial and error and time is needed. in the meantime, try using the mind space app and push for cbt if you can- I really think it would help you cope with the negative thoughts. I know it's hard but also try not to worry about your job. The most important thing is YOU- getting better. The job thing is out of your control. All you can do is your best when you're there. TAKE IT A DAY AT A TIME.
I hope this doesn't come across as a lecture- we've all been there and are working our way through this stage as best we possibly can . You can get a lot of support on here so offload and please please try not to worry ( and I'm one of life's worriers ) because it is futile and doesn't do you any good at all. Take care and keep us updated x

[CLKD]

If 20mg has been prescribed you may not need any higher dose anyway?  If you find that 20mg is 'too' much initially ask your GP for 10mg.

Also, could you speak to a physio. about any possible muscle strengthening?  Dependant upon which level the lesion affects your mobility, you may find that simple exercises at 'this time of Life'  may be useful.  It is easy when muscles become lax due to lack of oestrogen to 'pull' something or become full of aches and pains    ........ it ain't called 'the change' for nowt 

[SueLW]

"My doc didn't offer any kind of HRT or anything she did give me an AD Fluoxitine but I'm too scared to take it. "

Just on Friday I was talking to a friend in the USA and she told me she's taken Fluoxitine for several years now.  Her doctor prescribed it for worsening PMT symptoms and she says it's great.  She no longer gets the dark, irritable or crying moments anymore.  She has had no issues with it.  She's on a lowish dose, 20mg.

Try it.  It should help with your muscle issues as it will relax everything and it may make you feel less anxious and stressed.

[CLKD]

  edelweiss

[greenECLECtus28]

Thanks folks

I am going to make another appointment I think I will make it with the male doctor at the practice who has known me a long time (they all have as I've been at the practice since I was a child) don't know if it's my imagination but I feel he listens more instead of perhaps assuming that everything is anxiety related I think sometimes once you get labelled with the 'Anxiety' tag it can feel difficult to get things across I was going to perhaps ask him if I could be referred to a Gynaecologist as obviously they will be more specialised but I guess that will possibly mean a wait to see someone as on the NHS there is always a wait unless you can afford to go privateIm 54 and haven't had a period since December 15 so not sure if that will affect things. I'm totally torn regarding the AD's as terrified of some of the possible side affects, but I am so up and down, one minute I'm fine the next thing I get a twinge of something and I'm off again in full flight mode 

I'm also kinda dreading going back to work I'm still a bit sore plus as I'm afraid once I start walking around again full time something else is going to happen I work in a large call centre so it's a wee walk to get to where I sit but on the other hand I do want to get back as perhaps sitting at home and not doing so much is giving me too much time to think about stuff    seem to be having issues with my left ear again this is the one I lost some hearing in a couple of weeks ago and the doc at the time didn't give me an explanation just set it was a bit red inside and gave me a spray I was sitting having my breakfast and one of my parrots screeched and I felt a whooshing sound for a few seconds hopefully the same thing won't happen again! Honestly if I was a horse they'd probably put me down

[CLKD]

I get whooshing in my ears usually when I've laid on them at night and they are blocked.  I can hear my heart beating or that 'rushing water' 

[Hurdity]

Just to add that if you ask for HRT, 7 days of progestogen per month is much less than the licensed amount and is what Prof Studd prescribes for women who are progesterone intolerant and requires a regular scan to check for thinning of the uterus.

It would be better - if you decide to go down this route, to choose one of the proprietary types (and we can help you with this) to try first - and perhpas a separate oestrogen and progestogen ( such as Provera or utrogestan) but these need to be taken for the recommended time - at least in the first instance, until you know how your body reacts.They are all listed under Treatments/HRT preparations at the above tabs.

I agree that it is good to push for the best type of HRT on NHS which is the same type as the private specialists prescribe so no-one needs to pay high prices

Hurdity x

[greenECLECtus28]

Thanks all for your advice will take your points onboard.

Today I feel even worse woke up this morning with my usual racing heart with a horrible taste in my mouth and then when went to the loo to brush my teeth felt really nauseous and was retching which was really sore due to this muscular pain around my left breastbone but I was not sick now feel like crap even more probably my own fault as had a few glasses of the red stuff last night to try and calm my nerves so of course my mind in now working overtime again and my work will be calling today as had thought I would be back by now. I just feel so alone and wretched it's just one thing after another even though have had two blood tests which have all been clear I just don't seem to be able to get out of this negative mindset and don't want to keep talking about things to my dad and son as it just worries them. I'm such a mess but know that only myself can get out of this.

Sorry you guys are always offering positive advice and I just come back miserable 😭