Hi, I'm new to this site and do spend a lot of time reading other peoples posts which are a huge help. I think this is a brilliant site.
I would be really grateful if someone could offer me some advice as I'm at my wits end and feel like I am going to pieces.
I am 47 and still getting periods. I had an ablation 5 years ago because of heavy periods. The ablation stopped them completely for 3 years and life was great, but they started up again 2 years ago and were light, but every 28 days. Now they are still light but coming every 21 days.
I get about 5 days a month where I feel like a normal human being! The rest of the time I feel like the walking dead.
Symptoms are:-
Constantly exhausted - although I do sleep very deeply at night and get a good 6 to 8 hours. But I can also sleep for hours in the day if I am home. All I want to do is sleep!
IBS - with terrible bloating and wind pains frequently
Itchy skin and head - I have tried unscented products and checked for nits!
Depression - constant crying over nothing
Anxiety - palpitations, worrying about every single thing I can think of to worry about. Panicking in the supermarket as I feel everyone is watching me, worrying about my family, just imaging the worst all the time.
Loss of interest in sex - feel so old and unattractive and can't be bothered. Feels like what's the point as I look so gross.
No self esteem and confidence - I work in quite a youth culture where people are mostly young, pretty, outgoing and sporty. The ladies who are older all seem quite glam and nicely turned out. Where as I turn up every day with crazy hair and a cardigan on! (I do have nice clothes and make up at home but I just can't be bothered).
Also in my last job I was often praised and highly regarded where as in this job no one bothers with me and I feel useless really. But I feel so bad about myself now that despite knowing I am experienced and skilled I don't have the courage to move on to something different as I feel I am too old.
Bad Memory - I can't remember things or feel like I have cotton wool in my head.
Sorry this does sound like poor me, and I feel so guilty moaning on, but it's just how I feel. I don't really have anyone else to talk to as I have no friends my age going through this and my best friend who is my age is male, so he has no idea and thinks I am just an overreacting hormonal woman! Although he doesn't say that to me. I used to confide in my mum but she now had dementia so our relationship isn't the same as it once was and my daughter is wonderful but she's only in her 20s so she doesn't know how I feel and can't relate to it.
The mood swings are really getting me down. I either feel depressed a lot of angry at nothing. Last night I was actually feeling ok and quite cheerful, then I got into bed and read something online in the newspaper about men cheating and out of no where I ended up trying start a fight with my husband and then I wouldn't talk to him. Just because of the article I had read that had nothing to do with him! Then if that wasn't enough I tried to start a fight over a box of turkish delight he had been given. I tried to make out he had been given it by another woman when I know that's utter rubbish and I had created that idea in my head! I know where it did come from. My behaviour is just completely mad. I spend hours worrying he will cheat or me or leave me because I feel old and past it. He does everything he can to be nice to me and do nice things for me so I have no reason to feel like this. But I find I actually create scenarios in my head of him cheating and then I sulk and take it out on him and he has no idea what he has done wrong because he hasn't done anything wrong, it's all in my head!
I have been to see my GP as I was feeling so awful and last month I ended up taking a week off work sick (which made me popular, not!). I literally spent every day in bed because I felt so exhausted. I've had blood tests and they all came back fine, but the lady GP I saw said she thought I was peri menopausal so she prescribed HRT - Elleste Duet 1 mg. I am meant to take it for 3 months then go back. I haven't started it yet as I am frightened of it. I have read loads about HRT but I don't know whether to take it or not. I went to a natural health clinic also to try and look at alternative things and they told me not to take HRT because of the breast cancer risk, and to try a gluten and dairy free diet instead. I've tried vitamin and evening primrose etc and they don't work on me.
I really do feel like the old me has been replaced by this weird person. If I look in the mirror it's not me looking back. I feel like I am old and past it now so what's the point.
I really would welcome any suggestions or thoughts please. Does anyone recommend the HRT? The only person is my family who has had breast cancer is my aunty on my dad's side. And there's no history of clots or heart problems etc, so should I take it? I know no one can tell me what to do it has to be my decision, but I just really can't think straight these days and want to get back to how I used to feel. I had no idea the start of the menopause would ever be like this. My mother never suffered and sailed through it.
Sorry for the long post and thank you if you took the time to read it
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