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[ellie]

Two years ago I had a BIG Birthday,and I decided to treat my Granddaughter to a special gift to celebrate with me. It was a coach built pram and cost several hundred pounds.  I will always remember the day I gave it to her, she was so excited. I said to my Son and DIL that it would be nice for her to keep and maybe pass it on to her own chrildren if she had any......They loved the pram too.
    Last week my DIL told me that my Grandaughter was getting too big for the pram and she was maybe going to sell it.
         I know it's theirs to do as they like with, but she hasn't had it two years, and it's the kind of pram that is usually kept.......I feel really upset.
HELP!  Am I being over sensitive?

[ellie]

Hasty they have a big house and definitely don't need the money.  Before I bought the pram, my DIL had said  in a conversation that my Grandaughter would love one.   I hoped for her to play with it for a few years and then it could be kept and put away.  Memories and that............

[ellie]

I know what you mean stellajane about presents and I really don't mind them having a good throw away of toys that I have bought in the past.
     It meant a lot to me to be able to buy her something  like that, and they knew that. But as you say, times have changed.

[cubagirl]

Maybe a casual conversation with your son or DIL about it.  If you lived far away from them, you'd probably be none the wiser.  I've bought expensive stuff in the past for my GD's, but they grow out of these things & I just have to accept it.  Do your son & DIL realise how much you paid? 

[CLKD]

I would be deeply hurt at any of the above, what are your children thinking of  talk about a Throw Away Age!  Our toys were passed down the families because there simply wasn't the money to buy new: 5/6 cousins had the prams, teddies (I still have 1), trikes, scooters ..... all stripped down between each cousin, given a good oiling and a new coat of paint: job done!  I had a proper baby pram for my dollies, one with a hood and which changed into a buggy at the push of a button in which I caught my fingers on many occasions 

Personally I would ask for it back. To keep 'for later'.  OK it's a given gift to the Gradndaughter so quite honestly, it should remain hers until she is old enough to make that decision.  She may go back to playing with it over and over .......  Isn't that what attics are for?   I also wouldn't be giving the child anything sentimental. 

We had toys that went into the attic for 6 months and were then swapped for those we were playing with. 

[Two hoots]

After my son was too big to use a garden slide we gave it to my in laws to put in their garden for my nephews to use when the visited every weekend, or to pass on to my nephews to have in their garden, when I asked about the slide a few months later I was told "oh I took it to the tip" , this was quite a few years ago and I'm still annoyed  . If I was in your shoes I would be disappointed too 

So it's not just young people who don't keep things.

[Dorothy]

Perhaps you could offer to store it in case she or other family members would like it in the future?  I can understand that you are upset an expensive gift might be sold on, but at the same time, I can understand parents thinking their child will not play with a toy again and it would be better to sell it and use the money to get something that she will use now.

I'm also a little uncomfortable with the idea of keeping things for possible future children.  There is no guarantee that your granddaughter will be able to/want to have children, and 'heirlooms' that are meant to be passed on to the next generation can cause pressure, even if the original donor didn't mean it to.

[CLKD]

What about what the child would like in the future? 

No Ellie, I don't think that you are being over sensitive!

[ellie]

My Grandaughter is the youngest and will be the last grandchild..... I think the reason that I am so upset is.........When I had my birthday and bought the pram, they asked me why I had bough it .I told them I had been saving for some time and I wanted to make my BIG birthday something special and memorable by also getting her a special gift.  I suppose I am so upset because having told them that, the pram is just another item to get rid of and not at all special...... Silly I know, but I will get over it.

[Megamind]

Hm...it sounds like they didn't want her to have it in the first place if they asked you why you bought it. You're not being over sensitive. I think you should tell them that you will not be happy if they sell it as you see it as a special gift not just some toy you bought at their request. You put thought and money into it and it's a gift that should be treasured, not sold on less than two years later.

How old is your Grandaughter? My daughter loved prams for a long time. She had one of the Silver Cross kids ones that she kept for years as she loved it so much. Unfortunately we stored it in an outside shed and it went mouldy. I had bought it, but if a Grandparent had bought her it, I would have felt guilty that we let it go to ruin.

[ellie]

She is eight. They asked why I was buying such a nice present when it wasn't her birthday, but mine.
They were thrilled and I was happy to be making her so happy.

[CLKD]

Get it back.  Keep it until she's 18  - then fill it with special presents with a large bow!

[ellie]

I wouldn't dream of asking for it back.  Last Xmas  when I asked what she wanted, it was a doll, so yes they are all different.

[groundhog]

I can relate Elle and it's very hurtful but I'm sure they just think differently these days.  The stuff I have  bought my nephews - expensive quality toys that I never seem to see them play with............
I'm very sensitive and I completely understand where you are coming from.  I like the idea of 'keeping it' for her until she is much older when she may absolutely love it again - I've just given my baby granddaughter a rocking horse for her room that was after my daughter that has been up the attic for 30 years,  my daughter was delighted I'd kept it. 
Try not to take it to heart whatever you decide to do x

[CLKD]

 . I would ask ........... because it was given for the child, not the parents.