Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Mojo61]

I've been on different HRT regimes for a year now and although it has helped I still feel so flat and miserable all the time. I'm also on citalopram so not sure if that's got anything to do with it but I just don't find joy or excitement in anything anymore. A beautiful morning - nothing, upcoming holiday - just an inconvenience, chatting with people - irritating.... and so it goes on. I was supposed to be having the mirena coil fitted to help with the constant breakthrough bleeding (I'm post meno so on conti) but I've put it off because I'm going on holiday at the end of March and I'm anxious that if it doesn't suit me then I'm stuck with it and it could ruin the holiday (I suffer from dreadful anxiety too)

Is this it now, the rest of my life? I've got a job that I like, a wonderful son and an inheritance going through probate that will leave me more than comfortable for the foreseeable future - so why am I so bloody miserable?

No wonder they call this The Change, I've changed beyond all recognition since meno hit. Sorry for the grumble but my son has gone away for the weekend and I'm all alone, again, for yet another weekend (hubby died 10 years ago and been on my own since then. I'm 55)

[Menomale]

Hi Mojo61,

I feel exactly the same, flat as a door, a dead piece of rotten wood. I do have a lot in my plate now, but I suspect it's the hormotional hell speaking and your post just confirms that because you seem in a good situation and still feeling like that. I hope you can find a suitable HRT to stop that and maybe a new hubby? 
You're not alone here!
xxx

[Taz2]

Could a change of anti depressant help? It does sound as if you are in a bit of a depression - low mood especially - so why not go back to your GP and ask to try a different one than citalopram?

Taz x 

[Dancinggirl]

Mojo - You sound tired and world wiry - something so many of us feel at this time of life.

I believe, in fact I know from my own personal experience, that one needs to change ones mindset at this time of life - it takes time, discipline and a will to conquer these negative feelings.  HRT can only do so much. The Citalopram may be partly to blame for the feeling of being ‘flat' but you owe it to yourself and your son to really look at your life and do some changes that will improve your mood and view on life.
I'm sorry if this sounds harsh but the answer lies with you - you have choices and if this inheritance gives you financial security then this is fab - a golden opportunity to find a good away forward.
I have had some very nasty bouts of depression and have felt really low and desperate at times - I had a year of  weekly CBT counselling that worked wonders for me. If you have the money to go privately then this can be great (you're not having to fit in round an NHS timetable) - do some research to find the right therapist and allow them to help you move forward in a positive way. Your GP may be able to suggest someone good.
Don't put off having the Mirena  - there is a very good chance it will sort out the bleeding problems and it suits the vast majority of women who have one. If the holiday is in the next couple of weeks, why not book an appointment now to get it fitted when you get back.  This would be a very positive step. Don't expect the worst.
It could be worth trying to slowly come off the Citalopram - you may not need this now? Again, a therapist would help you with this withdrawal.
Make some plans - write that list of things you haven't tried but always wanted to do.  It is hard to do this without a life partner but I'm sure your husband would want you to have friends and enjoy life to the fullest - as Menomale has suggested, do a bit of dating???.
This thread you have started, expressing your current feelings, is a very positive step - you are open to advice and that is the most important thing.  DG xxxxxx

[Mojo61]

Thank you everyone for your kind replies. I have made a lot of changes since I started feeling bad last year, I guess I just need to make some more. I've had CBT and paid for a private therapist, I've even had a full assessment from the CMHT who declared me completely sane!

As for the dating, I really don't think so because I have zero interest in sex and I can't see a bloke wanting to be in a sexless relationship so that's kind of off the cards.

[Mojo61]

Could a change of anti depressant help? It does sound as if you are in a bit of a depression - low mood especially - so why not go back to your GP and ask to try a different one than citalopram?

Taz x 

Thanks Taz. I've got an appointment with my GP next week but I'm too scared to change meds as it took me such a long time to get used to this one. I've read so many stories about people who've come off ADs and then relapsed, but when they've started back on them again they don't work. I simply cannot risk going back to the place I was in last year, I'd rather be dead and that's no exaggeration.

[Dancinggirl]

Mojo61 - you've clearly done all you can right now but once you've had the Mirena fitted, got the bleeding under control and using enough oestrogen to keep meno symptoms under control - then maybe you could try coming off the Citalopram.  ADs/SRRIs are known for making one feel numb - don't be frightened of trying something new if need be - your GP should help you through this till you find the right balance.  Good luck DG x

[Taz2]

I can understand your worry Mojo61 but I wondered whether an SNRI would lift your mood more than an SSRI. A friend's husband was swapped to the SNRI and, after three years of debilitating depression not helped at all by the SSRIs, he is now back at work and enjoying life once again. Not everyone reacts well to the SSRIs but I know the thought of going through the side effects at the beginning would also make me worry about changing. Bear it in mind.

Taz x

[Hurdity]

Hi Mojo61

Om a different tack  (I know nothing about ADs!!!) - I can't remember which HRT you are taking but if you are on a conti HRT you are taking a progestogen - probably a synthetic one - all the time which are known to cause continuous low grade side effects in women who are sensitive to them. I would be one of these but I take my HRT on a long cycle so have a medium dose patch ( 50 mcg) and utrogestan (200 mg vaginally) for 12-14 days every 6-8 weeks. I feel a bit shattered when I'm on the prog but feel normal ( well as normal as I can be at 63  ) the rest of the time.

Just a thought - and an alternative to changing your AD - notwithstanding the helpful comments others have made about these - I mean if it was the progestogen it would be a pity to take medication to lessen the effects of another medication if you see what I mean !!

Hurdity x