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[karen250463]

Hi my name is Karen and I haven't had a period for 10 months so obviously well on my way to getting through menopause. I thought I was getting away very lightly with menopause, night sweats and hot flushes and the first thing my doctor asked when I went was how my mood was. I was fine (this was about a year ago) at the time, mood was pretty much normal for me and I was coping well. Then my dad, who'd had a long illness was in and out of hospital  3 times before ending up in a care home and finally dying in October. I was off work for nearly 5 weeks but as soon as I went back my manager had me learning a new job. I've been attempting to learn it for about 6 weeks and it's very slow going due to my brain appearing to be mush at times, not remembering things, forgetting what I'm about to say etc. It's been made much worse by sleep problems, I can get to sleep fine but it's the staying asleep which is a problem, I wake most nights for at least an hour or maybe two then 5 mornings a week I have to get up at just after 6 am to go to work. On Monday this week I went into a meltdown at work, in floods of tears, thinking I will never learn this job and even thoughts of leaving altogether because I can't cope. I think I'm depressed because of the year I've had but menopause symptoms are not helping. I have an appt with my doctor next tuesday so will see what he can suggest but my feeling is he will offer antidepressants and if so I will take them. My manager had a meeting with me yesterday and said she doesn't want to lose me and they will support me to learn the job and she's going through menopause too so could identify with me. I did ask to drop a day so I could catch up with sleep etc but she refused. Not really sure how it's going to go, I know this is part of my job I need to learn but it's so overwhelming and I'm worried I will ever get it and not being able to drop a day isn't going to help because I'm still going to be constantly exhausted.
I'm from the UK, work in the NHS and wondered if anyone else had any experience of what I'm going through?

Karen

[nearly50]

I can't help you with HRT either I'm afraid but just wanted to say I can empathise with the feelings of grief being magnified by hormones. I think the pressure of knowing you have to get up at 6am adds to the problems with sleeplessness, I know if I wake up at 3am I panic thinking I've only got 3 hours left to sleep. With the added pressure of learning new skills, you've got a lot goin gon.

Your grief will still be really raw, do you think Bereavement Counselling would help at all?

Hopefully others will be on to give you practical support.

[Hurdity]

Hi Karen 250463

 

Sorry to hear about your father and you job - no wonder you are feeling rough, with menopausal symptoms only making it worse.

However - anti-depressants are not recommended as the first line of treatment for menopausal symptoms. You are feeling down due to life events but the menopausal is also meaning you cannot cope so well with them. Nowadays HRT should be offered to women in your position before ADs - you didn't mention this in your post but please consider it. You haven't said how old you are - but as you work in NHS I expect you will be aware of the NICE Guildeines on menopause, and how much HRT helps to protect heart and bones and especially if you are under the natural average age of menopause which is around 51.

If possible I would resist ADs and ask for HRT - depending on your age you could take a low-dose tablet like Femoston 1/10 which is very well tolerated - or try a patch. You would have to have a withdrawal bleed but overall it should make you feel better than you do now, for most of the time.

Hurdity x

[CLKD]

   working in the NHS isn't the best place to be when feeling ill, I often said that if I collapsed they would push me under a bed and carry on 

Maybe keep a mood/food/symptom diary.  Explain to your GP that you are aware that your depressive mood is due to the difficult 12 months and that you would like to consider the types of HRT available.  Have a browse here, make notes.

It will take a while to get a grip on your father's last illness and his passing.  Have you considered contacting your local CRUSE group, they will visit at home for a chat as often as you want.  A way of talking in a safe space.

Let us know how you get on!

[flutterby]

Hi Karen So sorry you are having a bad time.
I retired from the NHS last January and from what I can remember about requests to cut hours is that they cannot just be dismissed out of hand as your manager appears to have done. By asking to reduce your hours to catch up on your sleep you are being very sensible and your request should be discussed involving a representative from staff health (get them involved).
Perhaps your manager is not having as severe symptoms as you or maybe she has tried to reduce her hours to cope and been refused. I found that people who were refused something were far less willing to let someone else have it. Flutterbyx

[karen250463]

Hi
Thanks to all who have replied . I'm 53 and don't want to take HRT due to my mum having had breast cancer but I am taking a supplement called Nutrition FX a natural oestrogen derived from plants which is endorsed by  Doctor Chris Steele from tv and that does help with the hot flushes a little but not the low mood. I've also recommended it to my sister in law and it's helping her and some of her friends with their symptoms. I went to the GP on Tuesday and he said the way I'm feeling is a combination of bereavement, menopause and work stresses and gave me a script for antidepressants (I took these around 13 or 14 years ago for different reasons and they helped loads) so I'm giving them a go.

Thanks for your advice to contact staff health flutterby, I will definitely consider that, I'm off work next Friday so will ring them and see what they say You are right CLKD, the NHS are not at all sympathetic to illness in general, let alone menopausal problems which is weird considering we look after people's health.

Karen x

[Menomale]

Hi Karen,

Do you mind if I skip the numbers in your username (menobrain does not fond of numbers  )?

I can totally relate to your problems! I also had a 10 month period free and then boom! period. I lost my mum during peri and then my dog and then my job and then my partner... Now I'm dealing with my 89 year old father who has many health issues and now has decided to get drunk  (I'm stopping the ramblings here)

I'm sorry your mum had breast cancer and HRT is not a choice for you, but there are new options coming like SERMS (selective estrogen receptors modulators) for menopausal women. I have read two articles about this and also know that one of the SERMS based drugs is at the final stage of clinical trials, so there is hope!

(I can post the links later, have to find them, if you like)

XX

[CLKD]

Regardless of whether your Mum was treated for or died with breast cancer, this doesn't rule out HRT for you.  It is about managing menopause and getting relief from symptoms which may be short-term ore may require more intensive medication/s.

Have a browse round the 'alternative' room. Some ladies find benefit from some alternatives but eventually their hormones over-rule the effects  .  Make notes!

There are several types of HRT which can be swallowed or applied using patches.  Beware of vaginal atrophy  as this is treated with HRT but this type won't have any effect on breast tissue ....... I believe in quality of Life rather than worrying about what might happen if I take something that 'may' cause other health issues.

Staff health should be (searches for word) ! non judgemental.