I wonder whether we would have bothered to have got married today. We wanted to live together, but we weren't able to. DH had to get permission to marry me from the Chief Constable of his police force! And my parents would have been horrified if we 'lived in sin'. We did not enjoy our wedding day, as Mum took over, as usual, so it seemed it was for everyone else. I felt more secure from having made a commitment to each other, though that doesn't really make sense, with so much divorce around. My daughter remarked that she and my son were in a minority at school. Not only were we, their parents, still married, but were happy to be so.
I think our relationship works, because neither of us expects the other to be responsible for the others happiness. That is our own responsibility. We like and respect each other as we are. We do things for each other, without expectations. Weve looked after each other at times of trauma and ill health. We don't try to change the other. Most rows have been hormone linked I'm afraid, but communication helps through that.
My daughter is very anti marriage. Every one of her school and uni friends who married are now divorced. She has been with her partner for 15 years, very happily and have had a child together. My son had to marry his American wife for immigration reasons, but states that the question of whether or not to marry was taken out of their hands, have enabled them to just get on and enjoy being together.
