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[Nickie]

original post on the private board...

[Optimist]

Hey you're not disgusting, you're body is going through a change and you're hormones can play havoc with how you're feeling.
You're in perimenopause if you're still having periods and trust me coming to terms with the ups and downs you're likely experiencing is tough.there will likely be some more experienced members who can assure you further (they've helped me) who will post on your thread.
Give the hrt a chance to get into your system (3 months) is the norm but if this one doesn't work then there are others you can try.
Believe me I know how you're feeling to some degree, it's wretched at times but do hang on in there-it won't always be this bad.
You've found the right site to get some advice x

[Dancinggirl]

Hi and welcome to MM Nickie
You are too young to be oestrogen deficient so you are right to be suing HRT.  It you have been ow on oestrogen fro some times then it all take time for the body to welcome and adjust to the HRT.
HRT alone will not sort everything - it takes a multi strategy approach to really gets meno symptoms under control.
Diet and exercise are crucial. Do look at your diet and make sure you are getting enough Vitamin D, Calcium and magnesium.  Omega 3 is also good to joints and mood. Eat small amounts often and cut out as much sugar as you can.  If you are carrying a bit too much weight then simply reduce portions and don't snack of sugary things.
Brisk walking for at least 20 mins each day ( fast enough to be a bit out of breath) is the best exercise or try to go for a swim 2-3 times a week. 
CBT or Mindful Meditation is really helpful and hopefully the psych will help you with this.
The meno can make everything so overwhelming - you are taking all the right steps - you now just need to let people help you and be kind to yourself.  DG x

[nearly50]

As Optimist says, you're still in perimenopause as you're having periods. What tests did they give you? Unfortunatley it is an inevitable part of ageing to go through this transition, hopefully reading some of the threads on here will help you deal with it. Might be worth getting vitamin D and iron levels checked at the doctors to help your fatigue. Hopefully the HRT will kick in soon

[Annie0710]

I totally get you Nickie and 5 years ago when peri started for me I felt exactly the same.  I hate reading websites where they say it's natural and many women embrace the fact there's no worry of pregnancy anymore.  Total bloody BS as far as I am concerned.  And I've often wondered what the real suicide rate is of menopausal women who despair they'll never find themselves again.

I don't sit and think too deep about it anymore, it is what it is, unless they come up with ovary donation or transplants or a drug that reverses it there's no fighting it.  Does it affect some women more than others ? For sure ! Which women suffer more ? Is it women who were loving life and were full of life ? Or women who had relatively quiet mundane lives? I don't think there's any difference to be honest.  I feel robbed of who I was, vibrant, a figure people raved about, pretty, confident, sociable, you name it I pretty much had it going for me.  Menopause has stripped me of my hair, skin, gums, figure, wellbeing, libido.... I could go on and on!

But what I do know is, I continue to fight and search for the magic formula that can turn my life around to at least a new acceptable level that I can enjoy my life again anxiety free. 

Keep searching, keep researching, keep trialling different methods (giving each an acceptable amount of time) and never give up !

Massive hugs XX

[CLKD]

Did you feel disgusted with your body previously?  I hated having periods: messy, painful, un-necessary as I was never likely to have children : but was never disgusted with me entirely.

Browse round.  Make notes.  Some ladies find that keeping a mood/food/symptom diary helpful in order to chart changes as you go along.

The menopause/Change cannot be reversed but there are ways of easing symptoms.  This too will pass 

[Hurdity]

Hi Nickie

  from me too!

I agree - you are not disgusting at all - though menopausal symptoms are unpleasant and make women feel rotten.

All I can say is that I felt terrible when I was at your stage in my 50's( I think I was a bit later in menopause) and started HRT - the 50 mcg patch and have never looked back. OK I haven't the energy of a 50 year old (I'm in my 60's) but I can function fine without sweats and flushes.

Try the Evorel sequi for 3 months and see how you get on - if you find it doesn't suit you then there are plenty of other types to try and we are all here to support you and help you find another one!

Lifespan has not changed as much as life expectancy so we are biologically able to live for a generation or so beyond the natural average age of menopause of 51/52. However because life expectancy has changed dramatically some women can live 40 years post-menopause so it is important to find a way through it and beyond which makes these years fruitful and positive as far as possible,

The actual menopausal transition is the most difficult - I cried at the drop of a hat and it is due to the hormonal surges - HRT can help so that hopefully you have more good days than bad days. Once you are through the menopause and your hormones are stable then a low level of HRT should keep your bones protected and your mood lifted.

I agree with Dancinggirl to look at all aspects of your lifestyle at this point and gradually make changes so that you are in the best possible shape health-wise. In the meantime you might like to look at this article about peri-menopause which explains what is going on in your body:
http://www.menopausematters.co.uk/article-perils-of-the-perimenopause.php  Also there is a lot of information on this website (top tabs - pale green banner).

Hope you feel better soon

Hurdity x