I can certainly relate to all your reactions to holidays! However, I've just had 3 really great anxious-free days , so much so that yesterday my husband and I spent an hour or so looking up holidays in the Balearics! Well, serves me right for being so ambitious - I've woken up today in a right state! Crying, tightness in chest, feeling hopeless and a right bloody idiot for even thinking I could be capable of going on holiday abroad!
Can't believe I am back to square one again. To feel so 'normal' again, only to be back in a black hole is like a kick in the stomach. I messed up the amount of propranolol I had left and so I am hoping that because I didn't take my normal amount yesterday (only about 50mg not 120mg), that this may be part of the cause. I woke up after an hour and a half last night and spent most of the night worrying and feeling really peculiar. Ended up taking 2 x 2.5mg valium in the night to get me through, plus the last 10mg of propranolol. Didn't help knowing that it is really dangerous to just stop taking it.
Was at the chemist at 9am to pick up prescription.
Hopefully things will improve over the day for me.