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[Ju Ju]

No one should have to justify their decision to have or not to have children.

But what is so painful is that some people decide to have children, then can't.

I saw what this did to my sister. She and her husband tried for years and underwent fertility treatment. For her there was a sort of happy ending. 3 months after giving up on having children, she became pregnant. The 'sort of' is that she died when they were young.

[Dorothy]

I know having children isn't some perfect dream-world where everything goes right, but implying you'd rather not have had your children or that childless people are the fortunate ones (especially to someone who never had the choice) is incredibly ungrateful, rude and insensitive.

Dorothy - Perhaps just perhaps some people are truly grateful to be childless and do indeed consider themselves fortunate.
I find it rude and insensitive to be told I am wrong in considering myself fortunate in not having any children.

Hasty, I think you may have misunderstood my post.  If you read the earlier part of it, you will see that my comment related to people who asked ME if I had children (I don't) and who then went on to tell ME I should be grateful that I don't.  I'm not telling OTHER people they are wrong in considering themselves fortunate to be childless (I have several friends who are childless by choice and very happy about it - and anyway, it's no one's business but their own!).  I'm saying that people who DO have children are telling ME I should consider myself fortunate to be childless. 

You are quite right that whether a person is happy to be childless or not happy, it is no one else's business to tell them what they should think or feel about it.  But I think it is extra hurtful when someone who may want children is told by someone who has children that they should regard their inability to conceive as a good thing.  Also, for a parent to say they were unlucky to have children is really unkind to their own kids!

[Menomale]

There are two different situations to consider: whether you choose or can't choose. In the end this is the sort of personal subject that shouldn't be brought up in casual conversation.

Ju Ju, how sad...

[CLKD]

I knew someone who would daily tell her younger child that she 'tried everything to get rid of him' ....... how he grew up sane I cannot understand 

[Menomale]

That's a shame, some people should just stop existing 

[Dorothy]

No worries Hasty - hope today is going better for you