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[sap22]

Interesting that he has an ex-wife!  Why did the marriage break up?  Do you get on well enough with her to meet for coffee and a chat to exchange view points?  I know of a couple of girls that did so, they both agreed eventually that the man wasn't good enough for either of them  - so he was divorced, twice …….. he had the same habits with both, same old, same old 

Take on board too that you R already stronger than you realise!  "This too will pass".  These types of men are good at the belittling and also good at being 'nice' at exactly the 'right' time ……… it really 'isn't you'! it's his bad habit.  He would be like it with any girl that he wants under his thumb!

Might I suggest a ring to sit on, like the kids used when they learned to swim?  I am sure that mobility shops have them along with a spare cover for washing.  That way the buttocks are supported but there is no pressure on the vaginal area.

Hi CLKD, thanks for the ring suggestion... I have a ring cushion, which is helpful. but might try a proper kids ring, as someone else suggested to me, which is 50% blown up.  Yes, she already found he did all the same things with her...but they remain friends and speak on the phone... so she's kind of in the middle.  I agree that although I think it's all me, I don't think it is...it's lots of things.  I am currently worried about a transvaginal ultrasound on Thursday. I already had one twice before the HRT and I was fine exept for a few small fibroids, but since the HRT started last June I haven't had one, but have this dark discharge. I know that the vulvodynia I have gives me a delayed reaction, so it might seem okay when first touched, but then it gets worse and can flare it up for weeks after, so am very hesitant to allow it to go ahead.  I might ask what they can see abdominally first and take it from there.  I don't think I could take another lot of ****ly pain for weeks on my vulva and neither could you know who!  Also they use a gel which I might react to....am just trying to get through each day...

[CLKD]

How has your week been?

It is NEVER all about 1 person.  It's about how 1 'gets away' with forming bad habits on another, it's about how much the other person will put up with abuse.  He should take responsibility for his own thoughts, statements, behaviour and you can learn how to stop enabling him by contacting the agencies that support people with similar difficulties.

'you know who' would be out the door!