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[Sallyyy]

Hello everyone. 
I am 46 and going through a very difficult time because my lovely husband has been diagnosed with incureable advanced cancer.  The Drs have been brilliant and doing all they can to try and stop the spread to give us as long as possible but its obviously been devastating.
Anyway that was just to give a bit of background.  I am generally very anxious about my own health at the moment - I think its because I want to make sure I'm ok for our teenagers.
I've had a few symptoms which I think are probably linked to perimenopause and just wondered if anyone here recognised them. Thank you !

*Periods closer together (cycle always used to be 28 days. Now often 24 days.)
*Pink/Peach (!) coloured discharge with strange 'sweet' smell (Sorry for too much information !) half way through cycle.  probably around ovulation.
*Breasts sore throughout cycle rather than just the few days before period.
*Odd feeling of fullness under right rib.  Not a pain exactly but more uncomfortable
*Lots of aches and pains in neck and shoulder.

Sally
 

[CLKD]

   something that I DREAD has befallen you and your lovely husband.   

Browse round. Make notes.  Sit down with your teens and explain that 'the change' is exactly that!  You may/not experience/suffer all/none of the symptoms.  Some ladies find that keeping a mood/food/symptom diary useful as when we feel well, we can forget how hormonal upheaval can make us feel.

Would your teens be helpful if you delegated chores around the house?  Easing them into doing their laundry or cooking a meal during the weekend?

What support are you getting with regards your Husband's prognosis?

Nowt is too much information on here,  we talk about everything: even menopause 

As oestrogen levels drop so muscles may become lax = aches and pains.  Over the Counter pain relief can help, a chat with your Pharmacist can be useful too.

[Lynn71]

Hi Sally, I'm new to this site today so hello fellow newbie!  My heart goes out to you, this is a hard enough stage of life without having to deal with your husbands diagnosis.  I hope you are surrounded by people who are able to give you and your family the support you need right now.
As far as your symptoms are concerned I can sympathise because my cycle is all over the place can be anything from 25 to 30 days, sore breasts for 10 - 14 days where used to just be a few days before period like you.  I have had general aches and pains that have me worried sick too, my list of complaints is seemingly endless.  However I have just started taking a herbal supplement called Sage Complex 4 weeks ago and practically everything has disappeared.  I made a post about it all earlier but have had some feedback from another member that there may be some concerns surrounding use of herbal supplements.  I need to do some more research and think I'll probably have a chat with my lady GP as to her thoughts on it.  In the meantime I'm just so relieved to have found something that works. I'm sure you will have lots of replies and hopefully will get good advice from the more experienced members.  Take care L x

[CLKD]

Some ladies find herbal remedies help initially but as their hormones start to fluctuate, it over-rides any benefits.  Maybe jot down your symptoms etc..    Have you read the threads in the 'alternative' room?

My periods came and went.  Fortunately never heavy, I suffered with that during my teens.  They got further and further apart, disappeared, came back - I didn't stop carrying protection for 5 years  .  I also had 'brown' discharge rather than a bleed but accepted that it was 'the change'.

The thing to look out for is vaginal atrophy which often presents as urine infection-type symptoms.  If you get one attack ask your GP for VA treatment! 

[Mrs Winkle]

Hello

I'm new here too 

I'm so sorry to hear what a hard time you're having with such a difficult diagnosis to deal with.

I had / have every one of your symptoms (I'm 44 and have just started HRT last week), shoulder pain is very common in Peri/menopausal women - I'm currently having physio for rotator cuff syndrome. And as for the boobs! I went through a period of about 6 months where they were so sore I couldn't even shake a ketchup bottle!  I also had the rib thing, I wondered whether I had a hernia for a while. Also, before my cycle went completely haywire, it went from 28 to 25 days.

If you're worried, speak to your GP, better to do that than worry yourself unnecessarily.

[Dancinggirl]

Hi Sallyyy and welcome to MM
What a tough time you are going through.  You need to feel strong and full of health so you can support everyone - a lot of pressure. Firstly, you must put your health and wellbeing first so do seek help and support from wherever and whoever you can - your husband is getting the best treatment so you need the best treatment as well.
We are here to support you if we can so do keep posting.
You don't say how old you are?  I suspect in your 40s?  The symptoms you are describing sound like the early stages of peri menopause.  My peri stage started in my 30s and I had all the symptoms you describe. The fulness under your ribs could simply be digestive issues possibly due to stress but it is best to ask the GP about this?
I'm sure your GPs are aware of what is going on with your husband's cancer, so do make an appointment to talk through how you are feeling and get some advice. Try to find out if one of the GPs in the practise has an interest in treating menopause symptoms - write down all your symptoms, concerns and questions so you can get the best out of the visit. Ask if there is a menopause clinic in the area as well. You need reassurance at this stage.

To be honest, I would be very surprised if you DIDN'T have aches and pains in your neck and shoulders - you are going through a very stressful time. Do consider trying some Mindful Meditation or other relaxation techniques - I find these essential to aid sleep and reduce stress generally.  It is very common to became anxious when meno starts as well.  Eat well, take exercise regularly, if you can, and indulge yourself with the odd treat.
Do read up all the info on this site to get clued up - knowing what we women go through when meno hits can really help alleviate the anxiety - you then know you are not alone with these symptoms.
You may not be ready for HRT just yet but if flushes and night sweats emerge then it is worth considering.
DG x

[Sallyyy]

Hello everyone - thank you for the warm welcome. (I am 46.)

I think the symptom that freaked me out most was the coloured discharge half way through cycle as I know that odd bleeding can be a bad thing (although I couldn't even say that it is 'bloody' - it is an odd colour. Almost like an orange / peach!)
I will have a good look round the site. There is so much useful info here.
Thank you again.

[Hurdity]

Hi Sallyyy

  from me too.

First of all so very sorry to hear the terrible news about your husband's cancer - how difficult that must be for you to come to terms with and having teenagers too. I also used to dread this happening - mostly to me while my children were growing up and now they have left home I don't worry about it any more. Being anxious about your health is common when your hormones start playing up and in your situation is bound to seem worse.

What you describe is the classic late reproductive stage just before peri-menopause proper starts. What happens is that your ovaries are still working fine but your cycle gets shorter as some of the hormones start to go awry. At this time many women start to get worse pms and extreme mood swings - but because oestrogen levels have not started to drop most do not experience flushes and sweats yet. This is the most difficult stage because HRT may well not be appropriate. Some gynaes prescribe the contraceptive pill at this point because it regulates the cycle and controls the mood swings. There are two that contain the same oestrogen in as HRT - ie estradiol ( rather than the stronger synthetic oestrogens) and these are called QLAIRA  and ZOELY. There is some information about contraception and menopause here: http://www.menopausematters.co.uk/contra2.php (scroll down).

What will happen next is your cycle will lengthen and then become irregular as you enter the peri-menopausal transition and at this point many women start to get flushes and sweats. There is a great article about peri-menopause here:
http://www.menopausematters.co.uk/article-perils-of-the-perimenopause.php

If you are worried about the mid-cycle spotting do mention it to your doc if it is new to you - as Sparkle says some women experience it anyway. Also some women on HRT get spotting when they reduce their oestrogen dose - this is known as "oestrogen withdrawal bleeding".

Other than that do follow the advice already given to you and hopefully you will find some help and comfort from this forum. We do have a private members only section if you feel you need to talk about what you are going through with your husband - some members are really good at offering support to women with emotional difficulties and circumstances arising from serious health problems.

Hurdity x

[Sallyyy]

Thank you hurdity and sparkle (I'll have a look at that post re discharge.)

[Dorothy]

Hello & welcome.  So sorry to hear of the news you and your family are having to deal with.  I hope this forum can be of some help to you.

If you are concerned about the 'colouring' between periods, it would be worth checking with your GP, just for your peace of mind.  It would also be a good way of sounding out how switched on he/she is about the menopause, as you will probably be needing more support in this area shortly.  Read around and inform yourself as much as possible, so you aren't caught out by any of the weird and wonderful problems which crop up at this stage in life.  I had a number of symptoms that terrified me until I realised they were a normal part of the change!



 

[Sallyyy]

Thank you - I think I'll keep a watch on my next cycle and then make an appointment with GP in January.

[coldethyl]

Sorry to hear about your husband- I'm recently diagnosed with cancer myself so know what effect it has on the whole family.

I'd just say to go and get any strange bleeding checked out as that was the symptom that has probably saved my life- I turned out to have a very large primary tumour on ovary which was asymptomatic but on biopsy a very early primary womb cancer too which my radical hysterectomy had already sorted. I'm not saying this to scare you, but I now get paranoid when I read on here about people having irregular bleeding etc and it all getting chalked up to the change. As my gynae oncology nurse said, it is a likely explanation but not the only one and I think for your own peace of mind it is worth seeing your GP for reassurance and investigation if needed. It would also be an opportunity to ask about getting some support for yourself as your husband's carer etc as you are going to need to look after your own well being as well as his.
Thinking of you xx