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[mintypeas]

hello to everyone. i have been lurking for a little while and thought i would take the plunge and introduce myself. i went to my doctors about 6 months ago after 4 months of no periods and a total mess emotionally and was informed by the female doctor that i was not menopausal as i didnt have hot flushes and that i needed to have no periods for 6 months. then was asked if i was depressed and the best thing was to be put on anti-depressants!! so she scared me so much that i only took the risk of seeing a doctor again last monday and oh what a difference. hubby came with me and she explained it to us both in basic terms and to have a blood test for everything and results will be back tomorrow and then see what next plan of action is. im 47 and my symptoms are so many now but my mood swings are the worse. i have a very understanding husband but a 19 and 5 year old that dont understand it at all so im struggling alot with them( more the 19 year old than the 5 year old!!) i feel so alone with this and was hoping that youi lovely ladies could help me understand more about what is going on with me emotionally. thank you all xxx

[CLKD]

   the first GP you saw was out of order and really should not be in Practice!  So many still believe that unless a lady suffers hot flushes that they can't be Menopausal, I have never had hot flushes ………

Browse round.  Make notes!  Some ladies find that keeping a mood/food/symptom diary useful. On our better days we can forget how awful hormonal upheaval can make us feel.

You are no longer alone!  Emotions can be up and down, depression and anxiety becoming a complete nuisance  .  Short term memory loss is common [There's a Strange Woman in my House] - we have threads about most things including vaginal atrophy. 

[Hurdity]

Hi mintypeas

  from me too!

So sorry to hear about your menopausal issues - commonly felt by many of us so you're in good company and we can help support you.

I agree with CLKD that your first GP was out of order!! You say you are suffering from flushes now anyway - sometimes they don't come on straight away for some women - that was the case for me - mine only started when I'd been without a period for a few months. If you are getting any menopausal symptoms at all and are over 45 and especially if you have regularly skipped periods and had long gaps between them then you are deemed to be peri-menopausal. Blood tests are not necessary to determine this - although if they have offered to do a full blood tests ie blood count, liver function , vitamins, thyroid and the whole caboodle as well as sex hormones - I wouldn't turn it down as it's good to have a baseline for future reference and to check that all is well with your body generally.

Doctors are no longer supposed to prescribe anti-depressants to women with anxiety symptoms and mood swings if they are going through peri-menopause and have no history of depression! The first line of treatment is HRT!

I know what you mean about the kids - teenagers can be difficult and certainly don't want to know about menopause. If it is a girl though - perhaps you could mention as she will also have her hormonal ups and downs from periods. Your five year old - I presume you just say at some times that you are not feeling very well?

It is so important to allow yourself to grieve properly especially for the loss of a parent - even if the grieving process is not obvious and outward like tears. Hopefully this will help you.

Do keep posting and let us know what you decide and how you get on at the doctors.

Hurdity x

[Hurdity]

Hi again mintypeas - yes I do understand and teenagers are difficult. When you are feeling calm for a moment I do suggest you sit down and tell her that it is your hormonal upheaval and really liken it to what she goes through with her periods as I suggested in my post below. No child wants to acknowledge their parents' problems because they expect you to be fine and OK for them - but if she is 19 she will know she is no longer centre of the universe - so as she is maturing needs to understand that you have hormonal ups and downs too (and that they are extreme!) - nothing to do with favourites at all. You haven't said and forgive me if I'm over-stepping the mark but the big age gap suggest possibly different fathers or else maybe you had problems conceiving or something else? No need to say and sorry if other things have happened, but if there are other factors this could also play a part in the jealousy your daughter is feeling. Sounds like you are trying to explain to her, but can you get her on your side and enlist her help with little sister/brother when you are feeling rough - will that make her feel more special and more grown-up - that you value you her as an adult now, and how you would miss her not being there? You are making sense to me - I've had/got 4 children - all grown up and gone now! Just waiting for grandchildren now 

Let us know re your blood test results!

Hurdity x

[CLKD]

I wasn't sympathetic when my Mum went through The Change ………..  …… maybe explain to your older child that this is a huge hormonal upheaval like pre-menstrual syndrome but all month long.  Your younger child would benefit from time with you when you need to simply rest.  TV, videos, books …… and sleep if you both can if necessary.

Learn to delegate?

[CLKD]

Your Mum probably thought that she was dying too  .

Family dynamics can be difficult at any time but when hormones begin to interfere …………..

[CLKD]

Let us know how you get on?!?

[Pam Madra]

HI Ladies does this all settle after perimemopause stops and menopause starts especially anxiety. Is there light at the end of tunnel?

[Megamind]

i know exactly how you feel you can feel the hormones bouncing around the house!! lol well i got the results back on my blood test but was not really told alot have to wait til i talk to the doctor on monday first telephone appointment available and then have an actual appointment on 23rd of this month soonest they could do. but out of 4 results 2 are abnormal so check online what they could mean. one is hormones or thyroid or b12/folic acid and the other one is low iron which i suffered from many years ago. not sure what to think guess i will get some answers on monday now xx

The symptoms of underactive thyroid are quite similar to peri menopause symptoms.

http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Thyroid-under-active/Pages/Symptoms.aspx

That's not to say you're not also in peri though.

[CLKD]

Mintypeas - ring your local CRUISE group, you may get someone to talk too much sooner!

[CLKD]

Ahh ……. as for your Mum it still surprises me how I turn in the 'little girl' the moment I walk into her house.  However, when she and Dad visited here, my Rules ruled!!!! and I wouldn't take any crap.  Have a plan of compaign and if necessary, walk away if she 'starts'?