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[Silly]

Hi

I may be a long post so I'm really sorry.  I must of read tons of pages and wasn't going to but thought I may as well.  I'm just so frightened with worry and haven't eaten today.  I suffer with anxiety and depression so I feel very anxious.  I didn't even know about atrophy until last week when I googled things.  I look back at my last smear May 2014 and having to have a tiny speculum and three goes and how painful it was. 

I'll explain as by doing that I kind of feel I am talking to someone  I bike everyday to keep healthy and to do errands but got given a road bike and used it three times this year but in June felt a bit sore and itchy near the clitoris and had a look.  There were tiny cuts and like a scrape on my labia minora that looked like a blood blister but flat sort of in a line. I went next day to gp and she said it was my bike as we had road up hills through forest and it was mountain bike track I remember really it was then and I couldn't wear seamed trousers you know where the seam is bulky inside.  She said it would take three weeks to go it took six.  I got padded seat and forgot the road bike.  I then felt a bulge at the middle down there so went back and asked do I have a Rectocele and she said no it's poo.    I trusted my self and paid private to see a prolapse dr and she was so thorough and said I had one and she wanted to do a colonoscopy to be safe which she would do on NHS and took biopsies but it was all ok.  Fast forward to last week.  I am paranoid I keep getting my mirror out, googling and it's making me so Ill so I went back to see a GP the other GP was ill so I had a male.  He said the scrape was a burst blood vessel but would refer me to gynaecologist I noticed last week my labia minoras are whitey grey and lower is red I'm so frightened I asked have lichen schlerosis I think I might of spelt it wrong.  I went a week ago to the hospital who said the blood vessel he isn't worried about and he gave me cream for lichen schlerosis and wants a biopsy doing, I burst into tears and just shook with worry my teeth were just chattering.  I felt very venerable and alone there especially with a student there.  I haven't had an appointment through so rang and apparently it's four to six weeks and that is urgent.  I don't understand I can be seen within a week then a biopsy appointment takes that long.  It probably won't come before Xmas then I have to wait for the result.  Could I have atrophy I, so lost and need help with it all.  I've had a rotten year, my Mam died and I was with her when she died alone in the room with her and my lovely daughter got a job three hours away.  So I've had Mam and empty nest syndrome.  My Mam didn't explain any menopause things to me,  I finished periods 2011 but had hysteroscopy and biopsy in 2013 due to blood and polyp removed.  It seems to be one thing or another all the time.   

[Silly]

Hi

Don't worry (your signature is wise!), I can't offer you advice on vaginal atrophy really, but there are plenty of lovely ladies here who unfortunately have it but will give you tons of good news.

You have been through a great deal of stress and this is a known trigger for hormonal storms, so don't panic, they are all controlled by your brain, and controlling your brain now is the first thing to achieve. I'm not in the UK, so can't give you advice on healthcare services too, but again there are amazing ladies here who certainly will.

Hi,

I'm 51 I started peri menopause at 41 and finished periods at 46 at 47 and half had blood and internal scan which showed a polyp. 2013 it was took out.  Yes I have everything in tact still.

Even reading your last paragraph set me off in tears.  I seem to just cry a lot this year, I've been having grief counselling and cbt but the grief counselling didn't do anything. I didn't have anxiety until summer as I think I'm still very badly grieving my Mam and my daughter going, since then health things have gone mad.  I just worry I have cancer down there the dr just spoke bluntly no explanation or reassurance and I don't think they even have any idea the waiting times for things they instruct us to have done.  I bike everyday to de stress but then worry I'm damaging my privates.
And just go and check them again. 

[Silly]

So sorry I pressed quote and so my reply went wrong, I'll get the hang of it

[Annie0710]

Hi

Please don't worry yourself silly

I'm having some issues down there too.  I use vagifem for VA which helps but I've developed soreness and things seem different too.  I keep promising myself I'll get an appointment for it

I had uterine, cystocele and rectocyle at just 23 years of age due to a bad delivery (bad instructions from hospital staff) and ended up with hysterectomy at 32 after I'd had all my children.  I'm thinking something's shifted there too

There's a 2 week rule here in uk that anything that could be or looks sinister is investigated within 2 weeks of seeing a GP

I lost my dad suddenly just a couple of months before my peri started and so I fully understand your feelings there, I lost my mum suddenly when I was 36 so have no female relatives to ask about menopause which makes this forum a godsend

Back to down there, I am getting increasingly uncomfortable wearing tight clothing and sometimes I just wonder whether it's part of the aging process or I need to switch treatment for my VA, like you I have noticed dark and lights bits too.  Also feels like my skin has had a Brillo pad on it

X

[Silly]

Hi,

I hope I can chat to you without feeling it's all about me.  I don't have any female friends, sisters or Mam to talk to and I guess educate myself about these things.  I honestly didn't know about atrophy and the cream.  I've just tolerated night sweats, no sleep and all the other things everyone on here has for years and I don't want down there getting to a point were I can't have smears.  I aren't sexually active now I feel disgusted about things down there and that I've done something wrong.  It's only the labia minora that's white, the clitoris and under carriage is very red, no itchiness but I did notice seams were getting sore under the under bit.  Annie that's what I worry about I was seen a week later after referral from GP and now it's up to six weeks for biopsy and I keep thinking what If it's cancer and I'm waiting would consultant know we wait that long.  I'm sure the graze thing has pus in a line next to it I asked him but he said no I swear it has though.  So other than coming on here I'm just stewing.  I've read a lot of threads and can't believe how people suffer, I never knew women suffered like this until now, I just thought your periods ended and that was it.  I didn't know oestrogen played such a strong part in things.  Hospital never rang back today about me enquiring how long biopsy appointment would be so I'm going to have to chat to people. on here.

[CLKD]

You chat away.  Getting worries out of your head and onto paper can be cleansing!

Vaginal atrophy for me presented as repeated urine infection-type symptoms but were due to the skin thinning ….. as oestrogen levels drop off the body dries: skin, nostrils, vagina  .  The need to pee constantly was the main issue, my GP gave me localised treatment which really has helped stop those symptoms!

Some ladies find that keeping a mood/food/symptom diary useful for charting how they feel as when well, we can soon forget how awful symptoms can be! 

Browse round here.  Make notes!  Maybe prioritise which symptoms affect you the most so that you can discuss with your Practice Nurse or GP.

If you are a keen cyclist then that is probably the basis of the problem!  Apparently all Pro-ladies have for years suffered with deep tissues and grazing in their intimate area, now they are trialling a specially designed racing cycle seat - see Laura Kenny (nee Trott) for further info..

Making sure that the whole area is moist is important.  I use Savlon on the outer vaginal lips as well as using the localised HRT as required.  Let us know how you get on.  Try not to worry.

When you Mam died, was she peaceful?  If you contact your local Cruise group, you will be able to talk to someone more deeply if necessary - worth while finding out what support is available near to you.

[Silly]

Hi CLKD I tried to hi lite your writing but was worried it would go wrong.  You have re assured me a bit yes chatting to people on here has helped.  I feel very isolated and tearful even writing now.  I agree about biking and the seat in known to me around April was the drop handle bike and seat was skinny plus tight trousers I should of checked then the bout of biking in the forest must of wrecked down there. You're right it's hard to describe the abrasion it's like a flat scrape purple and red it did go nearly but then I think biking in summer at a loch did it again I wonder if that's infected skin near it the lip of the labia minora on the inner side is white pus like the scrape is on the minora flat area oh god to put it bluntly where they come together.  I feel like les Dawson and his partner how they used to talk I don't know if you remember that sketch.  I feel a bit better the very under bit near perinium seems redder either side same area symmetrically with one tiny blister.  I did wear pant liners I stopped last week could that cause problems plus biking with them? I just wear pants and change three times per day and I feel less sweaty.  My wee problems have been bad for years I kept a diary plus overnight, I can't keep it long plus I wet myself sometimes there's no hope is there.  Your food diary is good idea.  I'll keep chatting. 

[Annie0710]

I can't say for sure but the fact you were seen within a week of GP referring you tells me GP was concerned, or at least erring on the side of caution but then when you were seen they've not set it as an emergency

Seriously your concerns are normal, but as you ride through this journey or read lots of threads you'll realise that many women get new symptoms popping up one after the other, then they reappear. If or when you develop a new symptom that could be serious it's always worth getting it checked out but don't worry until they worry ! It's a horrible time but learning to be calm is paramount.  Initially I saw an ENT specialist for tinnitus and dizziness who then sent me for brain scan then cardiologist who then sent me for a heart scan as there were abnormal readings on the 24 HR monitor.  As this was so soon after my dad having a fatal cardiac arrest I was beside myself! Anything that occurs now I just go with the flow as most things are down to peri

I totally relate about your mum, mines been gone 14 years now and the missing her never goes away, I've just learned over the years to live without her, keeping my precious memories. 


X

[Silly]

Sorry CLKD didn't mean to be rude and not answer. I cared for Mam for a few years she had severe dementia and didn't know me in the end.  She was a lovely old lady though.  I stayed hours and hours while she was on morphine as I had to organise care home in the end.  She had bladder cancer as well.  She was on morphine and so didn't know in the end, I was there when she had her last breath. 

[CLKD]

There's lots of hope! 

Firstly: do not use panty liners if they are not necessary. If you don't leak in the day is there a need?  They can cause sweatiness = rubbing.  Plus the chance of infection locally.   Have a look-see in your local pro-cyling shops for specifically padded pants which are worn against the skin with no need for cotton undies.  Johnsons baby talc gently patted on the buttocks can ease rubbing. 

Have you seen a Continence Nurse?  There is a train of thought that says women have the right to be dry!  Might be worth doing some asking around to see if your Surgery or Hospital has a Continence Nurse that you can chat with. 

Do have a chat with your local Cruise group, you can decide if you need to have more regular contact - 'it's good to talk'.!

[Dawncam]

Oh darling you've been through enough! You're desperately in need of some balancing. It sounds very much like you need some oestrogen, whether local (cream or oessaries) or systemic (entire body/all organs receive oestrogen), some ladies need both for full symptom control. I don't have VA but having read lots of posts of ladies who do, and bringing in your history, it sounds very much like that's what you have along with a few of the other classic meno symptoms.

At the very least you need a meno specialist to go through all your options and put your mind at ease. A lot of GP's just don't have the expertise or knowledge of the variety of treatments available. Ask for a referral to a meno doc.

Like you, I no longer have my mum and my sister died quite a few years ago so I find this forum a great source of suppport and info. Please keep posting and don't ever think you're bothering anyone- we're all here to help each other and some have more experience in certain areas than others so I'm sure you'll have lots of ladies along soon who've experienced exactly what you're going through.

Try and eat something - low blood sugar upsets all the systems and will make you feel worse and damage what little sleep you're getting. Try a bath if you can bear it down below, there's something about warm water that's so relaxing.

Take it easy.

Dxx

[Silly]

Oh darling you've been through enough! You're desperately in need of some balancing. It sounds very much like you need some oestrogen, whether local (cream or oessaries) or systemic (entire body/all organs receive oestrogen), some ladies need both for full symptom control. I don't have VA but having read lots of posts of ladies who do, and bringing in your history, it sounds very much like that's what you have along with a few of the other classic meno symptoms.

At the very least you need a meno specialist to go through all your options and put your mind at ease. A lot of GP's just don't have the expertise or knowledge of the variety of treatments available. Ask for a referral to a meno doc.
Hi

I did Google local clinics I will ring one Monday as it says you can self refer.  You're right the surgery Drs have no time or expertise to go through things with me.  It's I suppose someone reassuring me the colour etc is all normal it's the tiny cuts I would like help with.  I suppose we moisturise our hands and face or if we didn't it would be very dry so I suppose it's the same, 
Like you, I no longer have my mum and my sister died quite a few years ago so I find this forum a great source of suppport and info. Please keep posting and don't ever think you're bothering anyone- we're all here to help each other and some have more experience in certain areas than others so I'm sure you'll have lots of ladies along soon who've experienced exactly what you're going through.

Try and eat something - low blood sugar upsets all the systems and will make you feel worse and damage what little sleep you're getting. Try a bath if you can bear it down below, there's something about warm water that's so relaxing.

Take it easy.

Dxx

[Silly]

Just like to say everyone has been very kind.  I can't stop crying reading replies especially when people say about their own Mams it's very sad, we only have one Mam and when they are gone it's a horrible thing to deal with so sorry for what everyone has gone through.  It's like chatting to a friend really one I don't have to chat to not in that personal way anyway.  So I'll ask I have no bath just a shower cubicle I'd love a soak  but what do you wash with is I just don't feel water gets rid of sweatiness?  CLKD I wore the pads for padding  on bike and when I wee I don't make it or it dribbled out after I've put up with it for years it got worse this year though.  I think I don't get help as the GP just had no time so I think going to menopause clinic is a good step I'll do it Monday. 

[Dawncam]

Darling - screw your GP! Get referred! You've had enough pain, discomfort and suffering. Absolutely unnecessarily as this can ALL be alleviated. Please make sure you go on Monday.

Dxx

[CLKD]

Try to make a double appt. or see your Practice Nurse?