Hi Pinkfizz
Happy new Year to you too....
So sorry to hear about your mother-in-law's death and of course this will be a very stressful time for you.
I'm glad you are starting to feel better taking the HRT. The snappiness you describe after starting on the oestrogen is most likely due to progesterone withdrawal and is normal pmt - what we experience for the few days before our period. These feelings should clear in a couple opf days so that the rest of the time you are on the oestrogen only you should feel fine.
Re higher dose - the most obvious way that women normally know they need a higher dose, is due to a return of flushes and sweats - and hopefully that won't happen.
Hoping you continue to feel better but do allow for sadness to override your hormones as it naturally will from time to time over the coming weeks and months.
Hurdity x