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[Seaself]

Hello everyone! My name is Kate, I'm 54 years old and 3 years post menopause.

I have a Son aged 27 and a married Daughter aged 24. I have a cat and a guinea pig

The past few years, for me, have not been good, menopause wise. Hot flushes are gradually easing but my main symptom is the constant anxiety with a touch of depression thrown in.

I worry constantly about, well nothing at all really! I found my depression intensified after my youngest got married and left home, my Son had already left some years earlier.

Looking forward to reading through the forums and meeting you all

[Dancinggirl]

Hi and welcome to MM Seaself
At this stage you may not wish to consider HRT but it could be worth a try. It's amazing how the lack of oestrogen can mess with the brain.  Menopause does often coincide with the ‘empty nest' syndrome, ageing parents and other worries that just make things worse. 
I think it can be about becoming more selfish - after years of putting everyone else first we need to concentrate on what we need at this time of life.  Having an understanding life partner does help but learning to really relax and take life in a calmer way takes discipline and thought.  Now 60, I have managed over the last couple of years to restructure my life to include part time work, lots of brisk walking and very importantly a good deal of proper relaxation.  Whenever I am tempted to jump in and offer help I now think twice - I now think it is a type of arrogance to believe we can be all things to all people.
Do consider some CBT and my GP suggested Mindful Meditation , which at first I was very sceptical about, however I bought the book she suggested and with practise is has really helped me to reprogram my brain and get into a more positive frame of mind. Written by two doctors it's called Mindfulness by Mark Williams and Danny Penman.
Don't rule out trying some HRT for a few months to see if it helps - it often alleviates mild anxiety and will certainly reduce flushes but I believe one needs to approach the meno with a variety of strategies to really move forward in the right way. Keep posting - we are here to support you.  DG x

[Autumn16]

Welcome seaself
Wise words and great advice from Dancinggirl.
I too was so used to doing everything for everyone, I am trying to embrace the change. It's not easy😀

[Hurdity]

Hi Seaself

 

In addition to Dancinggirl's advice, I would definitely consider HRT at this point - I only started HRT when I was your age - although I was in late peri-menopause then, but still taking it now in my 60's. You are relatively young to be without oestrogen and I would definitely recommend it, in addition to the techniques suggested by Dancinggirl to deal with anxiety - likely to be caused by low oestrogen. Oestrogen falls to its lowest level about a couple of years after menopause and then hovers about at this level for the rest of your life...

I have never embraced the change as such!!!  (Actually not quite sure what that means  )The important thing is to make sure you can do the best you can for your health and yourself. That may mean as Dancinggirl says, not trying to be superwomen and being realistic about what you can take on, but does not mean you need to accept that you have to slow down and lie around on sofas worrying, and mopping your brow for 30 years!!!

Hurdity x

[Barefoot]

Hello seaself, I'm at a similar stage of life. 53 years old. 3 grown up children (2 sons and one daughter). No pets. 2 part time jobs.

I have been having a horrible time with hot flushes and night sweats but they're gone now and I'm having a horrible time with meds for hot flushes and night sweats. I worry (care a lot?) about everything. I don't consider myself depressed though, so I'm lucky in that way.

I look forward to reading your posts.

Barefoot x