Hi Speigelei
How dare your doctor say that to you and cause you to suffer such misery? Anti-depressants indeed! Good for you for not taking them as you weren't depressed. Although as lily says some brands do work for hot flushes they are absolutely not meant to be given to women for menopausal symptoms. HRT is the first line of treatment. Your doctor should have been more vigilant. There is no such thing as being too young for HRT - there are some unfortunate young women who go through very early menppause in their 20'and some in their 30's. It sounds like you were the normal age to start getting symptoms. As soon as you started skipping periods regularly HRT would have been the best thing for you. IT STILL IS!!!!
Please please go the doc as flutterby says and ask for HRT. You are a classic case for it! See if there is a different doc in your practice who is sympathetic towards menopausal women and also knowledgeable about HRT.
If you look at the top tabs ( green banner) - under Treatments/HRT preparations they are all listed. You will need to start a sequential one which gives withdrawal bleed. Even though you may well decide to go onto a continuous combined (no-bleed) HRT in a few months - it's best to start with a sequential one ( ie approx two weeks of oestrogen followed by 2 weeks of oestrogen + progestogen) so that you can see which elements of the HRT suit you best.
If you are OK with tablets then Femoston 1/10 would be a good one to start as it is well tolerated (it also comes as continuous combined no-bleed). Alternatively you could try a patch such as Evorel sequi or Femseven.
Re the vulval problems - this is also shocking - even if the doc did not give HRT you should have been prescribed some local oestrogen which might have prevented this from happening. Look at the menu above for vaginal problems and treatments - you will need local oestrogen such as estriol cream or Vagifem as well as HRT. If you condition is severe then it may take some time to alleviate. There are several women on here also with severe vaginal atrophy problems and will have all sorts of recommendations for you as well as what lily has suggested but you defo need local oestrogen.
Please seek medical help and do persist - and let us know how you get on - any more questions please ask and we will all try to help
. You will get your life back very soon if you go and get some HRT - you do not need to suffer.
Hurdity x