If you really want to come off HRT that is totally your choice of course. Maybe what you could do is cut your patch in half for a few weeks and see how that feels before you stop it altogether.
However, before you make that decision I think there are a couple of things you might want to consider. You are taking a continuous HRT which contains norethisterone as the progestin component, and a lot of women don't get on very well with that progestin, especially if they are getting a small dose everyday as you are. So it could be responsible for how you're feeling rather than the estrogen side of things.
What you could do is switch to a cycle by using an estrogen patch (Estradot is a good one) and take a separate progestogen for 10-12 days and that will give you are predictable period. You could either do this as a monthly routine or a lot of post-meno ladies opt for a 2 monthly cycle. You could choose to use either Utrogestan, or a progestin that seems to be more tolerable is Provera (medroxyprogesterone). If either of these progestogens prove to suit you, then maybe you could consider going back to a continuous method so you don't have to have a period.
The other thing you might need to consider is that maybe the estrogen dose you are on isn't high enough. Maybe try increasing the dose a little to see if that helps.
The weight issue is really annoying, but I personally think we tend to blame menopause and HRT for the fact that it's really us that needs to make some changes. I've proved that by recently losing 20 pounds, simply by joining Weight Watchers. Previously I'd blamed everything for my weight gain, except myself, but the fact that I've been able to lose so much, by simply being more aware of what I was eating and portion size, proves that menopause and HRT really weren't responsible for me gaining weight.
