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[Sally66]

This thread really touched a nerve with me.
I'm finding working full-time in a demanding job so difficult now because of insomnia. But I'm single and can't afford to stop working.

There's no way I can bring up menopause related problems in my workplace - it's already a very female unfriendly culture. I feel like I'm not coping very well and there are extra pressures being put on me because, like you, I've made a few mistakes and am definitely not as 'productive' as I was a couple of years ago.

I'm considering a career change but am really struggling to get plans together (have difficulty concentrating, planning at the best of time!).

I do worry a lot about what's going to happen to me over the long term ...

So Binbon, I don't have any solutions to offer but I can sympathize!

x

[Binbon2]

Thank you all for your replies - good to know I am not alone.

I am 45 with kids still at school, so was not expecting the menopause to have such an impact so soon! It is sad that a natural process affects the working lives of so many women. You have job protection when expecting a baby, but no real protection with the menopause.

I currently work part time, so probably not much option to reduce hours further. My husband earns enough that it won't be a disaster if I lose my job. We just have to adapt to life on one salary, although it will be tight. Hopefully things will improve with time and I can find a way to contribute to the household financially again.

I will certainly discuss other ways of managing insomnia when I go back to my GP. I will also discuss the mirena coil. I have seen a gynae recently due to prolapse and heavy bleeding (which left me iron deficient). Tranexamic acid has reduced the bleeding, but the gynae did suggest the coil as an option.

I find when I have a really bad night that my legs are really achy the next day. I think I have noticed that if I do more exercise then I tend to feel better the next day with less achy legs. Will have to put that theory to the test more, although it is hard to get yourself doing exercise when you feel so tired! A bit of a vicious circle!

[kpatton56]

Do you have a good union rep? Employment law makes it difficult to just dismiss someone but you need good representation. Few of us know all our rights. I have a bit of knowledge from the other side of the fence as a manager. Your employer must offer you reasonable adjustments once a medical problem is identified. Wishing you well 😀

[Ju Ju]

What a good thread this is.  Really highlights my point that someone should look at the impact of meno in the workplace. I doubt they took this into account when they raised the retirement age to 66/67??!!
DG x

Yes, I really feel for who, like Sally, are single and reliant on their earnings. I would have had to carry on working until I was too ill, then retired on medical grounds, having gone through hell to get there. Instead I am very fortunate to have the support of a husband who said enough is enough. I can't bear seeing you struggle. We will manage somehow and we did and do.

[walking the dog]

I worked in an all female environment and the manager was the least understanding person in the world she's only thirty, her attitude was shocking, I hope she suffers the menopause from hell after what she put me through, like a lot of ladies I couldn't afford not to work and my husband is,self employed we live month to month financially. However, we both new if i had stayed in my Job there wouldn't be a me , I was seriously depressed by the time I left.
Its disgusting there's not allowances made for menopausal women in the work place as you can tell I personally feel very angry about this due to what happened to myself.

[Babsm67]

I sympathise with everyone on here - I left my job last year after a breakdown.  The previous year, I became depressed after not feeling 'myself' for some time (I didn't know it was due to late reproductive/early peri at that point).  The insomnia, amongst other early peri symptoms & stressful circumstances, took its toll on my mental health.
In my workplace, the atmosphere was awful because there had been a change of leadership and heads were rolling.  It was increasingly unfriendly and I lived in fear of being 'ousted'.  When I became depressed, I told my female manager - I wished I hadn't.   After showing initial sympathy,  she treated me with derision after I took a few days off sick (my attendance & punctuality had been excellent for years before this).  The way she spoke to me destroyed my already declining confidence & I was never the same at work after that.  Further down the line I eventually went off sick for weeks & resigned without ever going back.  You would think a fellow woman would have some compassion but I found this was far from the case. 

[Mary G]

The real tragedy is that all this is completely avoidable for the vast majority of women.

With the right hormone treatment at the right dose, there is no reason why women should not feel either completely normal again or significantly better and free of life ruining symptoms which force them to change their lives.

It is scandalous that we are having this debate in 2016. 

By the way, thanks a bunch to the anti-HRT whingers featured in the DM article that dangermouse posted recently.  I wonder what words of wisdom they would have for the members who have posted on this thread?

[sweettooth]

I returned to work after breast c and because I was not on my hrt anymore etc my problems started about right! I got no support at all, I was even given new role to do which I wasn't up to. It's a long story but women are actually worse, I could not believe how I was treated. I have taken time out but I can't see me going back. With more support I would still be there today but hopefully better times will come along

What goes around, comes around. Best wishes binbon x

[Sally66]

Like MadBloss, I started feeling 'not right' about a year ago because of late reproductive symptoms, especially disturbed sleep which lasted for a whole week prior to the start of my period (I'm 50, still regular, but periods are now closer together). This had a major influence on my ability to concentrate and function properly at work.

I tried sleeping tablets, but they didn't agree with me so I went back to the GP and she prescribed a contraceptive pill and also asked for routine blood tests.

Had a phone call from her on Tuesday informing me that I was actually a 'moderate to severe level anemic'!

Turns out it's probably due to me now having 'heavy' periods. My periods don't hurt but I've been using double protection on the first two days (tampon and pad) for a year or two now. I hadn't realized this was what counted as 'heavy'.

When I went in to collect the prescription she asked me if I'd had any of the following symptoms: fatigue, shortness of breath, dizziness, poor muscle performance.

Well I had all of those but had attributed them to job-related stress!

I think being anemic may explain a lot of why I've been feeling so bad at work over the last year or so.

There are compulsory redundancies coming and I know I'm being 'eyeballed' because of poor performance. I was told I was 'disappointing' in my last appraisal and it's true I'm not as 'good' at my job as I was 3 or 4 years ago.

I think telling my boss I'm officially 'anemic' and getting a letter from the GP might help.

However I know if I'd just said I was 'peri menopausal' then there's no way that would been accepted as a justifiable reason for poor performance.

I just hope that the iron tablets will help 'sort me out'.

I totally agree with MaryG, it's scandalous that we're still having this kind of debate in 2016 ...

[Justjules]

I thought I would lose my job last year when I had a breakdown after struggling through but then a couple of health scares put in in a panic as I don't handle stuff like that well at all, but thankfully, work were quite supportive. I was off for around 28 days in total spread across a couple of months (I work four days). I do work in the legal profession for employment lawyers and my boss said he understood anxiety to a certain extent as he'd experienced it within his own family so that helped. Not many of my co-workers got it though and I felt alienated and self conscious saying it was anxiety and menopause as most of them are a lot younger than me. Why do we have to be made to feel this way? There were days, and still are, that just getting there through the panic attacks and then trying to sit there, sometimes not being proficient at all, is dreadful. I have been there nearly 4 years and before that I loved my local previous job but was made redundant so I was stressed when I took this new job and haven't been right since. I can't retire as we lost our pension and OH isn't supportive at all so I have no choice but to carry on. I could cry some days at just the thought of going in and how bad I feel.  I feel for all of you ladies who have had to give up or are like me, just getting through each day. There has been mention though lately, I think even by Dr Currie, about menopause awareness in the workplace and I think it needs addressing as there are so many women struggling. I've been looking for something more local and easier but the pay then is so low and I would struggle. I just need a nice little reception job somewhere.

[Cherrycrumble]

I didn't realise that this was affecting so many people in this way, thought it was just me! I left my job in July. I was a school secretary and really loved my job but i'd been suffering with anxiety related to peri and just couldn't cope with it anymore. The environment also really didn't help as the head teacher was a bully and was picking on one of my colleagues. The  office environment was just awful and so stressful and that definitely didn't help with how I was feeling. I was signed off work with anxiety in June, and while I was off decided that I couldn't go back and put myself into that environment again. So I've been off now for about 2 and a half months and my anxiety is feeling a lot better and more under control.

I'm just starting to think about looking for another job, but I'm not sure doing what. I don't feel like I can cope with an office environment right now so am just going to look around and see what I might be able to do. Definitely not going to do as many hours as I was either.

It's awful that so many of us feel that this our only option, but I'm also glad it's not just me

[flufferama]

I'm so sorry to read this thread.

I'm barely hanging on in work.

For 17 years I worked brilliantly in a fast paced job, and was in a high level position.
I thrived on the pace and loved my job. I was a real high flyer and earned a great salary.

I took a less stressful, slower paced job and all was looking good because I had more time for my young family.
Then BAM I was clobbered with awful perimenopause symptoms.

I am struggling so badly. I have been awake since 2.30am today thanks to continuous flushes and palpitations, I'm at my desk now and have been holding back the tears since 8am.

If I can't get some improvement soon I will have no choice but to leave my job.

My current workplace has an extremely strict sick leave policy (14 days maximum over two years!) so taking a stretch of time off to get myself together is not an option. I don't even have a bloody diagnosis of why I'm falling to pieces.

I can't believe I've gone from being a highly functioning, work-loving person with a sense of humour to a completely different woman in a matter of months.

I can't believe I might have to stop working at the age of 40.... I have worked in some capacity since I was an 18 year old student.

[flufferama]

Thank you Menomale.

I've seen my useless GP, then I saw my gynae who wants two sets of bloods and an ECG/Holter monitor result from me before he'll see me again. Hopefully later this month.

I found an unopened pack of sleeping pills in my mum's so I am taking one tonight because it's Friday. If I don't get something resembling a sleep soon I will lose my mind completely.

[Binbon2]

Hi all
So sad to read all these stories. It is really awful that the best option is to leave work for so many of us. I agree that menopause awareness in the workplace should be addressed. I am glad not to be alone too, it makes it a bit easier to deal with.

Flufferama, I know how you feel. I have a senior position and have worked hard and been successful all my career. I never dreamed it might end at 45 years old. You could try menopace as a short term fix. That did help me to start with. HRT has stopped my hot flushes and night sweats, so an improvement even though the insomnia is not resolved. I tried one sleeping tablet but it left me feel like a zombie the next day, so I have decided not to go there again.

Sally66, I hope the iron tablets help for you.

I went to my GP today. He has given me a prescription for patches. But I have to finish the rest of my Estelle tablets - 2.5 weeks to go. Lets hope that a different HRT may help with the insomnia.

best wishes for everyone struggling to make it through the day at work

[dangermouse]

I was made redundant last year after fighting for it for a year as I wanted to work for myself and needed the payout to get established. A few months later I had to stop working for 6 months as was too ill to carry on but, of course, I didn't get any sick pay and still had to pay for prescriptions and taxis to and from docs/hospital (as too dizzy to drive) as self employed can't claim benefits.

However, if I had still been at the company they would have assumed I was exaggerating the symptoms in order to try to get the redundancy more quickly and, knowing what they were like, they would have done everything in their power to fire me without pay! I heard they had doctors on their payroll, and their side, for these occasions... On the plus side they had some great private GPs on site who may have figured out my issues due to the extra time they have with you - who knows?

Men and women were treated very differently there, men were the adults (who could be trusted to work from home) and women were the children (who would obviously go shopping if they were allowed to work from home)... Get the idea? Whenever a man was off sick there would be no issue and no comment, as soon as someone announced a female wasn't coming in, the tutting, shaking of heads would start. Oh and this was meant to be an international forward thinking bank.

The problem with bringing in a menopause policy, is that it would be another reason to employ men over women. I guess it really should be the GPs who take it more seriously so they can sign women off and back up the seriousness of their condition. Signing someone off with anxiety is seen as an excuse by employees and you also have to declare mental health on some new job medical applications - although not sure if that is HR confidential for background.

If you're deeply unhappy in your job, do hunt around as there are some lovely jobs out there. I was very luck to get a part-time placement close to home to top up my income (after losing 6 months and I'm not great with marketing my own business!) and it was just through Googling about one day to see what sort of local jobs were on offer. It's easy (esp. with hormonal angst!) to fear making changes or earning less, but things never tend to be as bad as the worst case scenarios we come up with which stop us moving on.

Go for it and take the plunge! Work-life balance sometimes involves risk and taking a pay cut but things always work out in the end.